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So thankful. :)

Thursday, August 12, 2010
I simply cannot express how relieved I am... how much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I simply cannot thank God enough. I know there are risks with any surgery, so I am not 100% in the clear here. But, I can't even begin to think about that. I am just so happy that I didn't have to have a discussion about even a possibility of cancer today.

I can deal with so many things... I really can. And, I know that there are possibilities for the future that could include a diagnosis of Sjogren's Syndrome or Rheumatoid Arthritis or nothing at all. Or breast cancer... or something I've never even heard of. But, if it will let me live... in any capacity, I am willing to take it, deal with it, and make the most of it. Just please don't tell me I'm going to die. Even if it is inevitable to happen at some point. :) If I die in a car accident tomorrow... at least I didn't know it would happen. :) 

Remind me to read this if and when I get diagnosed with something that is just life-altering and not life-threatening. I'm sure I'll need my own pep talk from time to time. 

I have to thank you guys all again for your support and prayers, words of encouragement and love. I have to thank my best friend for not letting me know that she was worried, too, and for telling me not to worry, and for making sure that she took time to help me out by watching the kids so that Brad could go with me. I am so blessed to have you, Cilla. 

I have the best mommy and daddy in the world. I think I made their lives living hell last night and I can't express how much I wish I could take it all back. I know they were terrified. I should have never freaked out like I did on them. But, I'm so happy they were there and that they remained strong for me. They made me feel like I was slightly crazy, but at least they did it in a way that really reassured me that it would be OK. Even though, I now know that they were reacting about as crazy as I did. lol. :) 

And, of course, I have to thank my sweet hubby. He was furious with me and Google last night. I think he was nervous too, even if he would never admit it, and I was so glad he was with me at the doctor's office today (even if he did park in the wrong garage). :) He has a way of making me feel calmer without doing anything. Probably because he never freaks out like the rest of us emotional maniacs. And he's always saying stupid stuff that is completely unrelated to anything that makes me laugh and distracts me. I swear he doesn't do it on purpose... I think it just happens. It can be really annoying sometimes, but today, I couldn't have had anything better in my life than him. I love you more than anything, Brad... even if I'm "only OK" to you. ;)

The fun stuff begins on Monday morning. Yippee. Thanks to my awesome mother-in-law, Kathy, I will have my kiddos taken care of without any problems. She is always there, stepping in to help with my kids any time I need her. I could not be more blessed. She'll be here Sunday night and will take Bailey to school on Monday morning. I have decided that it's probably best not to even tell the kids about the surgery. Bailey will freak out. She's already been worried from hearing me talk about it, even when I thought I was not talking about it much in front of her. She even started crying one day, worrying that I wouldn't come home after surgery. I just can't have her worrying the whole time. So, we're going to work on an idea to tell her that Mamaw is coming down to take her to school and see how it all goes from there. Jake will be fine... he won't even wonder where I'm at, as long as his Mamaw is here to see him. :) 

And that's that. I'm done with worrying about it all... or concentrating on it for now. I'm sure that I will probably blog one more time about it before my surgery and probably do a post or two about it afterward, but hopefully this will be the beginning of the end of the Gallbladder Saga. :) Thanks for bearing with me... now I can get back to more important things... oh... like my list or the kids or just blogging random crap that no one probably cares about, except me. lol. :) 

To leave on a really good note, we have Bailey all ready to go with ballet. We bought her leotard, tights and shoes tonight. She tried on the leotard and shoes for us tonight... my camera battery was dead (I left it on all night), but I used my cell. I couldn't choose between the photos... they were just too.... Bailey. :)