Freezing Time...

On days like today, I wish that life had a remote control. I would love to freeze time, if only for a few minutes, and catch up. Most of the time, I would use it only to find a few more minutes in my day. I would never really skip through any of it. I actually really do love my life that much. 


However, it would be really nice to have that pause button. I would just love to freeze time for a moment every now and then. Sometimes I would use the pause button, do a whirlwind through the kids' toy room, and get it all clean without anyone going behind me in search of Spiderman, dumping out the buckets I've just filled up. Every now and then, I'd use it to speed through the laundry or dishes or dinner or traffic. Tonight, specifically, I would use it so that I could catch up on a couple of projects, including one that I owe a wonderful friend (I know you are reading and I really promise that I haven't forgotten you, C. I should totally be working on it instead of my blog!). 


In any case, I would love to use that pause button so that I could take that extra minute to snuggle up to my kiddos and watch them sleep for a few minutes. Or to read "just one more story" to them before they fall asleep. Or simply to crawl into bed beside my husband and not feel like I was asleep before I even pulled up the blankets. Or to take a really long bath or give myself a really, really good pedicure. 


So, does it sound like I'm complaining? :) 


Yes, I would imagine it does. It sounds like I'm admitting defeat. I'm losing the battle to juggle 500 things and not be exhausted. And, I am. I'm not exhausted and I'm not unhappy at all. I'm actually not even really meaning to complain. I am just feeling the affects of doing everything we do. Today was a completely overly-hectic day, complete with a doctor's visit that lasted over 2 hours, prep for our first Girl Scout meeting, homework for Bailey (and Jake, if you count the project we had to do), ballet class for Bailey, and our first Girl Scout meeting tonight (did I mention that I'm the troop leader? Yes - shoot me now, even if it isn't that bad). :)


It is all worth it. Yes, I am tired. Yes, I would love to have that pause button. Yes, I would love it if we had a live-in massage therapist for my feet. Yes, I would LOVE it if I had a treadmill so that I wouldn't have to decide to run or not to run at 5:30 in the morning or in the rain or cool weather Yes, I would love it if the laundry was done, the dishes were all clean, the floors were swept, the toys were up, and dinner for the next week was already cooked. But, I am not complaining. 


I love being healthy, even if I had to go to the doctor and get bloodwork done AGAIN. (FYI - they are working on ruling out the Sjogren's Syndrome I blogged about before). I love it that I CAN run and that I DO run. I love it that my kids are involved and that they have the stamina to handle (and enjoy) our lives. I love it that my husband supports us being involved in 100 different things, without complaint, and that he loves being involved in things, too. I love it that I'm meeting so many new people through Girl Scouts, ballet, t-ball, and soccer. And church, and a whole other list of things. I love it that my daughter is so much like me (sometimes). She wants her homework done as soon as she gets through the door. That way, she doesn't have to think any more about it. It makes life so much easier and I love having it done early, too. I love it that Jake is adjusting to preschool like a pro. He is handling drop off wonderfully. 


I honestly and truly love this tired feeling. I feel like I'm living life to the fullest... and the sleepy feeling I have right now is something I only get when I know that I'm doing as much as I can in any given day. A few more hours would be nice, but you know, I'd just fill it up, too. 


Good night (or morning for a lot of you!)! 

Month of Waiting = Over

I am ready to celebrate. I feel alive. I am not waiting on things right now (at least not entirely). I am just happy. Content. Not waiting... impatiently on much. :)


And, even better, I just ate wonderful asian zing wings and potato wedges for lunch. I actually don't feel hungry for at least the first time in a month. And... I'm not sick. At all. I feel great. 


I'm not perfectly over the surgery. I'm still having some trouble with my side, but the doctor told me today that it is probably just a little inflammation on my diaphragm (for those of you who don't know anatomy - that's the band of muscle that separates your chest from your abdomen). It just hurts when I take a deep breath. But, with some ibuprofen, I'm OK. It should heal quickly. 


The doctor gave me some other great news... I can run again! I didn't expect it to come for a couple more weeks, but he says I'm good to go. I can't lift anything heavy for a while longer, but running is fine. He also told me that my gallbladder pathology revealed that my gallbladder was diseased, which means that once I get over these little humps, I should be fine. It feels so good to hear that! 


And, more good news... Jake's Early Start evaluation was today. Basically, to qualify for the program his score had to be 75 or lower. He scored a 76. They would have let him come into the program two days a week for two hours, but the speech therapist and I talked about it for a long time. He has made so much progress in the last month. It seems like since Bailey has gone to school and he has had some significant one-on-one time with us and his grandparents while I was out sick last week, he has improved so much. So, I kind of expected him to do better at this evaluation than he did at the last one. And, I was right. The therapist gave me a bunch of information and activities to help work with him at home. She recommended that we work with him over the next four weeks at home and see if he improves. She gave us specific things to focus on and if he isn't progressing, we can re-evaluate and put him into the program at any time in the near future. 


This is a great relief to me. I feel like I was right to get him some assistance, but I am also not sitting here worrying that he's going to have to struggle to catch up and be where he needs to be. It's a good place to be... to feel like we caught it early enough to make an easy adjustment, but we aren't having to make a huge lifestyle change for him either. 


So, yes... I'm ready to celebrate. The month of waiting for results and of me being entirely impatient... is OVER. :) I have one more doctor's appointment to go to for a physical. This one will be to re-evaluate everything without my gallbladder and see if I am still showing signs of Sjogren's Syndrome. If I am, then I'll have to go down that road. But, I'm not worrying about it. And, I'm not feeling impatient about it. It's there, in the back of my mind, but I am so prepared for it that I'm just feeling good. If I have that, or something similar, I can deal with it. I can live with it. It just leaves me with a loose end... but not one that is controlling my life like this stupid gallbladder seems to have done. :) 


Finally... I feel like a normal person again. I'm celebrating... :) 

So thankful. :)

I simply cannot express how relieved I am... how much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I simply cannot thank God enough. I know there are risks with any surgery, so I am not 100% in the clear here. But, I can't even begin to think about that. I am just so happy that I didn't have to have a discussion about even a possibility of cancer today.

I can deal with so many things... I really can. And, I know that there are possibilities for the future that could include a diagnosis of Sjogren's Syndrome or Rheumatoid Arthritis or nothing at all. Or breast cancer... or something I've never even heard of. But, if it will let me live... in any capacity, I am willing to take it, deal with it, and make the most of it. Just please don't tell me I'm going to die. Even if it is inevitable to happen at some point. :) If I die in a car accident tomorrow... at least I didn't know it would happen. :) 

Remind me to read this if and when I get diagnosed with something that is just life-altering and not life-threatening. I'm sure I'll need my own pep talk from time to time. 

I have to thank you guys all again for your support and prayers, words of encouragement and love. I have to thank my best friend for not letting me know that she was worried, too, and for telling me not to worry, and for making sure that she took time to help me out by watching the kids so that Brad could go with me. I am so blessed to have you, Cilla. 

I have the best mommy and daddy in the world. I think I made their lives living hell last night and I can't express how much I wish I could take it all back. I know they were terrified. I should have never freaked out like I did on them. But, I'm so happy they were there and that they remained strong for me. They made me feel like I was slightly crazy, but at least they did it in a way that really reassured me that it would be OK. Even though, I now know that they were reacting about as crazy as I did. lol. :) 

And, of course, I have to thank my sweet hubby. He was furious with me and Google last night. I think he was nervous too, even if he would never admit it, and I was so glad he was with me at the doctor's office today (even if he did park in the wrong garage). :) He has a way of making me feel calmer without doing anything. Probably because he never freaks out like the rest of us emotional maniacs. And he's always saying stupid stuff that is completely unrelated to anything that makes me laugh and distracts me. I swear he doesn't do it on purpose... I think it just happens. It can be really annoying sometimes, but today, I couldn't have had anything better in my life than him. I love you more than anything, Brad... even if I'm "only OK" to you. ;)


The fun stuff begins on Monday morning. Yippee. Thanks to my awesome mother-in-law, Kathy, I will have my kiddos taken care of without any problems. She is always there, stepping in to help with my kids any time I need her. I could not be more blessed. She'll be here Sunday night and will take Bailey to school on Monday morning. I have decided that it's probably best not to even tell the kids about the surgery. Bailey will freak out. She's already been worried from hearing me talk about it, even when I thought I was not talking about it much in front of her. She even started crying one day, worrying that I wouldn't come home after surgery. I just can't have her worrying the whole time. So, we're going to work on an idea to tell her that Mamaw is coming down to take her to school and see how it all goes from there. Jake will be fine... he won't even wonder where I'm at, as long as his Mamaw is here to see him. :) 


And that's that. I'm done with worrying about it all... or concentrating on it for now. I'm sure that I will probably blog one more time about it before my surgery and probably do a post or two about it afterward, but hopefully this will be the beginning of the end of the Gallbladder Saga. :) Thanks for bearing with me... now I can get back to more important things... oh... like my list or the kids or just blogging random crap that no one probably cares about, except me. lol. :) 


To leave on a really good note, we have Bailey all ready to go with ballet. We bought her leotard, tights and shoes tonight. She tried on the leotard and shoes for us tonight... my camera battery was dead (I left it on all night), but I used my cell. I couldn't choose between the photos... they were just too.... Bailey. :) 

Yay... Gallbladder Surgery Scheduled! WOO HOO! :)

Going to blog more later... but before I do anything else (bathe my kids, etc.), I wanted to make sure I thank all of you for your prayers! 


I have gallbladder surgery on Monday. I am so relieved that it is only gallbladder surgery that I honestly am thrilled. lol. I never thought I'd be this happy to have surgery in my life. The doctor just wanted me to come in and talk about the surgery and make sure that my symptoms were reproduced during the HIDA scan. Basically, the HIDA scan can show that there isn't a problem, but if it makes you have the same symptoms as you do when you eat something, then most likely it is a diseased gallbladder. 


Thank you guys all for putting up with my blogs about this... and for my insanity. I hope that I'll have surgery on Monday and become a normal person again shortly thereafter. :) 


Love you all for sticking with me... and truly loving God right now. 

Speed bumps...

I go back to the doctor today. Apparently, the HIDA scan I had last week came back with some "issues." That's all they'd tell me. They said part of it looked good, but the other part had some "issues that they want to discuss with me." That's pretty much all they'd say. 


So, you know what I did? 


Freaked out... like totally and utterly freaked out. I thought about my mom and when she had breast cancer. We all thought it was nothing. The doctors had us convinced that it wasn't anything. We all just felt like it wouldn't be anything. Then, when I talked to my dad and he told me that the doctors had told Mom she had breast cancer, I thought the world had been kicked off its axis. There was no way that she had cancer. None of us could believe it. But then... after we knew what was going on, it all seemed so clear. The doctors had known, or so it seemed, from the time they did her ultrasound. They had needed confirmation, but they had known. We hashed out and probably over-analyzed every conversation that Mom had had with her doctors. Everything seemed to point to the fact that they knew long before they ever confirmed it. 


Last night... I analyzed my conversation with the surgeon. "If we just have to remove your gallbladder, I will just call you and we can set it all up over the phone. If it's something simple, there's no reason for you to have to wait and get another appointment in the office." That's what he said to me at our last visit. So, why is he having me come back in? Obviously, because it's not just  simple gallbladder surgery. So, what is it? 


Then, I thought about the two conversations I had with the doctor's offices yesterday. The one with the surgeon's assistant, who said, "There are other issues with your HIDA scan that he'd like to talk to you about." When I asked if he said anything else about it, she said, "He just said he wanted you to come in... can you come in tomorrow?" Of course, my translation is: "There is something wrong with your HIDA scan and we need to get you in here tomorrow to get this all taken care of... probably because you have a tumor or cancer and we know you're going to need to see an oncologist." :) 


Ok... so I then decide to call the diagnostic center to see if I can get a copy of the report so that I can figure this out on my own. I know... don't judge me, please. I know I sound crazy. It's OK... I don't mind being crazy most of the time. I call Brad and get his fax number to have it faxed to him. The lady at the diagnostic center says, "Sure, I can send you your results. What's the fax number?" I give it to her. She asks for my name and date of birth. Then, she says, "Have you already seen a doctor? I can't give you these results until you've seen your doctor." Really? Because two seconds before you saw that it was my scan, you were ready to fax them. Great... another reason for me to freak out and think that the results say something bad that they need to make sure I have a person sitting in front of me and discussing it all. 


So, last night, I freaked out. I freaked my parents out... so much that they called my aunt, who is a nurse practitioner to see what she thought. She told them that most likely, the doctor sees something that he's not sure about... probably some kind of blockage (not necessarily a tumor or anything cancerous - that's really rare at a young age and I'd be having some other issues that I'm not having). She said that basically, she is thinking that he's going to discuss what they saw and then recommend that I have a MRI  to see what's going on. 


We have no clue if that's the case. But, even if it was a tumor or something really bad, she said he couldn't possibly know it from looking at the HIDA scan. He'll have to have me do more tests... so... it sounds like the most likely outcome for today... a MRI or some kind of additional tests. 


I feel much better today... I'm NOT freaking out now. :) But, I'm annoyed. I am so annoyed. I am frustrated because I feel like my life is paused until this gets taken care of. Of course, I'm spending time with the kids, getting Bailey settled into school, working with Jake on his speech (at home until we get him squared away into a program), and spending lots of time with my husband, who has actually made it home every day this week before 7... that is quite possibly a miracle. 


But, what I'm not doing is frustrating me. I am not running. I am not focusing on any of the things on my list. I am not sewing like I need to be (Kristyn and Cheryl - you are not forgotten). I am just annoyed. But, this too shall pass... and all will be right in the world again. It's a speed bump. That's all... just a speed bump. 


On a brighter and much more fun note... 


Bailey is now enrolled in ballet! :) She starts on Monday. I have to go to new parent orientation tonight. I hope she loves it... she's been wanting to sign up for about a year and we've put it off, thinking that she'd change her mind. But... she hasn't. I'm pretty excited to see how she does. She'll get to perform in the Nutcracker in December. How adorable will that be? :) 


And, Jake is getting signed up for fall ball t-ball. It will be the most hilariously fun thing ever. It will be nothing short of a miracle if he will stay on the field for more than 5 minutes without one of us having to chase him down. But... he says he wants to do it. Bailey isn't as interested... I think she's tired after all stars lasted so long, so she's going to take a break. Five bucks says that she'll end up signed up to play after she sees that she has to go to practices for Jake. :) 


All will be fine... I'm sure. But, just in case, say a little prayer, OK?! :) 

Gallbladder - Chapter Gazillion two

Well, the test made me sick. I guess that's a good thing, but won't know for sure until next week. :) It wasn't horrible though... just some pain in my side, dizziness, and nausea. Just another day in the life of my starving gallbladder. And I do mean starving... like seriously, I have never wanted a cheesy bowl of fettuccine alfredo with a side of cheeseburgers and fries so bad in my life. lol. 


We'll see what they say about it on Monday or Tuesday, so again, the ever-impatient me must wait. Fingers crossed that they want to get this sucker out of me quickly. But not on Wednesday... that's Bailey's first day of school. :)


I got some other news, too, but it is all up in the air at this point. The blood work came back on my liver and it was fine. But, they did find some other interesting things. I can't remember all of the technical terms, as I was finding this all out on the phone (a good thing), but basically there's a possibility that I have some kind of rheumatological disorder. It looks like Sjogren's Syndrome, but the doctor wants me to come in and do a complete physical, as well as look at my blood work again. Basically, she doesn't want me to freak out and think I need to worry about it, but she does want us to be proactive about it. She made the statement that if it was something she was really worried that we needed to find out immediately, she would have had me in the office today. She said I could come back in after the gallbladder or next week, whatever I wanted to do. It could all just be part of the gallbladder throwing things off. Or it could be that I have this syndrome or Rheumatoid Arthritis. In any case, every option is something that has a treatment... not necessarily a cure, but a treatment that would allow me to continue living my life for a long time. Which is really ALL I care about. 


I'm not freaking out... I'm really positive about it and think that this will all work out just fine, so please don't worry. I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on. We're going to get this gallbladder thing figured out and taken care of before we discuss anything else with the Sjogren's or Rheumatology. I want to take it one step at a time and deal with one thing before worrying about another. After I get the gallbladder squared away, I'll have a physical and go from there. So... the saga continues. :) But, this whole gallbladder could be a huge blessing in disguise. Apparently, Sjogren's can be very difficult to diagnose and she said that if it is indeed Sjogren's, we have caught it early because my levels were just barely positive. 


In the meantime... 


No running. And, I'm missing it like insanely crazy. That or just some form of physical activity. No... I really do miss running. It was a nice break from everything and it would be really nice to "escape" into something that I could actually accomplish in a 30-minute period. :)


And it's really hot here. Or it has been, which means I probably wouldn't have wanted to run anyway. I'm hoping tomorrow is slightly cooler... then we're hoping to spend some time at the lake and/or the pool. Just a few more days until school starts and no more pool. :( We have to take advantage while we can. 


Thank you all so much for your sweet thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement... You guys totally rock. :)

Short one tonight... :)

Short post tonight... got to get in bed for my big test tomorrow. :)


No food or drink until after my test. Woo hoo. Thank God it's at 8 in the morning. :) Fingers crossed... hopefully I have a bad gallbladder? Is that even right? I guess that's the best thing to hope for here... so yep... send bad gallbladder vibes my way. If you've ever wanted to wish that I was sick or wish something bad on me (then why the heck are you reading this?), now is the time. I give you permission to hope I have a bad gallbladder and I get sick on the test tomorrow, just to show them that it is my gallbladder. 


Will let you guys know how it goes tomorrow afternoon/evening. 

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers! 

The Saga Continues...

My post about yesterday:

Mother freaking, curse word, curse word, expletive, expletive. :)

That's it. 

No, seriously... 

I went to the surgeon. He's not sure it's my gallbladder and wants to confirm before I have surgery. 

I understand and appreciate that. I like thoroughness.

They want to do a HIDA scan. 

Cool... not really. But, I'll pretend I'm cool with a test that must be so much fun they make sure you have someone to drive you home. Really cool. :( Someone I know that had one before said it made her really sick. Awesomeness. 

Guess when they originally scheduled the test... Friday, the 13th. No, I'm not superstitious, at least not about the number 13 (it was a family football number for years). 

But, I was not happy about waiting a week and a half to have a test done to see IF I should have a surgery. Then, waiting for the results. Then, waiting for the surgery. Then, waiting to recover. If I have the surgery at all. 

What the heck? What if it isn't my gallbladder? Wouldn't it be nice to get that ruled out quickly so that I can start feeling better sooner? I don't want to wait a week and a half, have the test, find out it's not my gallbladder and then see that I have to go back to doctor's offices and start all over to figure out what the heck it is. 

Is it really possible for me to be the only one that sees the problem here? In a building full of doctors??? 

Not happy. 

You know me... I am not going to let someone else control the situation (yes, all doctor's offices surely hate me). I called around and found a place to do the HIDA scan tomorrow (Friday the 6th) instead. I was a little worried my doctor's office wouldn't appreciate this, but I explained to them that I just didn't want to be sick for another week and they were really nice about it. 


They probably are sticking a little voodoo doll with pins as I write. lol 


But, I'm more happy now. Except that I have to have the test at all. Not excited about it, but at least it won't be a week until I have it. 


I'm so happy that I have such a wonderful mom and an awesome best friend to help me. My mom is going to watch the kids for me and Cilla and Brad are splitting up taking me and picking me up at the test. Thank you guys... you rock. :)

And the Organ Comes Out...

Last night, I wrote a post and didn't post it. I was tempted to post it, but I knew that all of you would worry about me... you would all send me such sweet and encouraging messages... you would all pray for me. It isn't that I didn't want to hear from you and to know that you all were thinking about me. I guess I just felt like it would be very selfish for me to post this and have you all worried. 

I'm glad I didn't post it. But I feel guilty for not posting it.

It wasn't a super-depressed post. It was actually pretty positive. But, it showed a very vulnerable me... a part of me that I don't really like. I know we all have our vulnerabilities, but I don't like them. I like feeling positive, secure, strong, and happy. I don't like being negative. I don't like feeling like anyone would have pity on me. I'm filled with pride... sinful pride. :) 

I feel like I cheated on my blog readers by not being my real, vulnerable self. Because truly, this blog is supposed to be about life... real life. Not only the good parts of life. :) All of it. 

Fortunately, I found out good news today. Or so, I guess... I found out that I have to have surgery. Good news? Well, everything just depends on perspective, right? The gallbladder must come out. I had to have extra blood work done to check my liver, which makes me a little nervous still, but for the most part, it looks like my gallbladder is the problem. If my liver is having problems too, well, I'll just cross that bridge then. It will be a week before we have those results. 

Since I am happy with the outcome, at this point anyway, or at least content that there is some resolution here, I figured I'd share with you an apology for not being my real self. In a nutshell, this is what I thought and how it all transpired. This is not the post I wrote, but it describes how I felt pretty much in a shorter version.  

My best friend's mantra to life - Everything happens for a reason. That's what I had to repeat to myself. I read the mail that Bailey brought in yesterday morning (Sunday). It had sat in the mailbox all night. I read my blood work report. It said my bilirubin levels were high and my white blood cell count was low. 

Google, please. Bad idea. 

Liver cancer. Wilson's Disease. Hepatitis. An onslaught of problems with the liver. So many that I could have read all day in fear. 

To church, we went. Brad yelled at me and threatened to take away my computer. I pouted.

I cried at church. Not openly, but privately. I bargained with God. And then I realized that the post Cilla had written could have been written for me instead of her. That truly... God had sent me a message instead of sending it to her. I needed to know that God's will was more important than mine. I gave in. I forfeited to God. I decided that I might be unhappy with my path, if I had a liver disease, surgery, a short life, whatever. But that God had a plan and I had to fulfill it. All I needed to pray for was strength, courage, and patience. 

Last night, I wrote a post about giving up... but not to give up hope... to surrender my worries to God. Yes, if I were you and I read it, I would worry about my state of mind. Not because it was crazy... but because I'm not the type that gives up easily. :) So, I would worry that Andrea had truly come to the last straw or something. :) That's why it won't be posted. 

No worries, everyone. I'm in a great place. In a great state of mind and sadly, I'm content to get an organ removed. Is that seriously possible for Andrea Ooten? lol... 

Yes. It. Is. :)

About my kids

Since I'm frustrated about running or the lack thereof, and because I am nervous about tomorrow morning, and since my husband and two children have been fast asleep since 10, I have lots of energy. Not really energy to go do anything or to fold the laundry that really needs to be folded. Energy to do things like... play on the computer or think too much. I could easily watch a movie, but I can't really focus on the television, what with the thinking and all. 


So, I blog... driving everyone crazy with my erratic behavior... blog five times in a day... then don't blog at all for five days... etc. :) Sorry. I know... it annoys me, too. 


I have lots to blog about over the past couple of weeks... we have been very busy. I could list it all here, but I'm actually going to do that in my next "big" post. Sorry. I know the long ones aren't everyone's favorites (well, sometimes they are), but I can't see getting "caught up" on all of it without just doing a "Summer Activities" post, complete with lots of pictures and small notes about the actual trips. Hehehe... I know. You are all saying, "Yeah... right... small notes about the trips. That won't happen. She has to tell the backstory on EVERYTHING." :) Are you wondering why I don't just do that post now? Well, I'm being lazy, icing my foot on an elevated chair in the office, and I simply don't want to walk downstairs to get the camera from my purse to download pictures. 


Instead, I'm going to tell you about my kids, as if you don't already know a lot about them. You don't have to read if I get too long-winded. I know sometimes I don't want to read what I've written. lol. But, sometimes, I feel like I need to tell about things that my kids will want to read about when they are older... you know, how they acted and what they "did" that made me so crazy. So completely crazy... about them. 


I'll start with Bailey... she's the oldest and would totally think that she deserves to go first... it's an argument I hear daily. It's OK though. Jake just looks at Bailey after everything and says, "I win," and she is totally exasperated because she can't make him understand that she won. :)


Bailey is a great little girl... always interested in following the rules and doing the right thing. She does this almost to a fault, driving us crazy telling on her brother or reminding us not to break our own rules from time to time (she loves to lecture Brad when he and Paul smoke cigars or tell me to slow down when I'm driving too fast and yelling at people in front of me). She is going to be the teacher's pet, I'm sure. She just has that personality. If you have seen the movie School of Rock, just imagine the little girl who is the band manager and you'll get a pretty solid idea of why I think Bailey is going to be the pet. :) She loves to play school, often calling me teacher and raising her hand throughout the day. I love it that she's so interested in learning, even if her unending questions sometimes baffle me and leave me wishing that I had all the answers so that I wouldn't have to say, "I don't know... ask your dad," so much. It's a pride thing, people. I don't want to be less smart than daddy, in anyone's eyes. :) She loves to play rough... she can wrestle with the boys on any given day, but is just as likely to be caught kissing one as punching one. She is a girly girl, in every sense. She has this way about her... she is just naturally prissy. She pushes her hair away from her face very flippantly, as if she is a princess. And, she definitely is convinced that she is a real princess, I am a queen, Daddy is the King, and Jake is the prince. I believe that she had a sincere argument with some of the kids in her preschool about this... she came home to tell me all about how one little girl told her that she wasn't a "real" princess and that I really needed to go in to school and explain to them that she was indeed a real princess. Yes, you can imagine my difficulty in managing that conversation. Obviously, I was not convincing when I explained how she is our princess. She still thinks she's a real princess. She even asked when we were going to move into the castle on Versailles Road. :) She is so excited about starting dance classes this fall. I have caught her on multiple occasions dancing in front of her mirror in her room, practicing ballet. It's really adorable.  


Bailey acts ten years older than she should be. We forget that she's only five pretty regularly. She is too intelligent for her own good sometimes, which backfires more on her than it does on us. She ends up in trouble for things that most five-year olds wouldn't get into trouble for, simply because we know she understands right from wrong so well. It's not fair to her. I can see that Jake already gets by with things that Bailey did not get by with at the age of three. I hate that. I hate it because that was me and it sucked. The boys always got by with more than I did. Not cool, but a reality that I must admit is simply inevitable. I can't change it, despite my attempts to become more aware of it. It's just simply there.


She's been harder on us this summer than usual. She is going through a phase where she whines when she doesn't get her way. She whines when she does get her way. She just whines a lot. And if there's one thing in this world that I always swore I would never let my kid do, it was whine. So... you can imagine how tough of a summer it's been in that sense. Vacation was interesting. Bailey whined to go to the beach. Then, when we got there, she'd be satisfied for a few minutes, then she'd whine to go to the pool. She'd whine that she was hot, then whine that she was cold. Everything was hard for Bailey... she just had a rough time realizing that the world does not revolve around her and her alone. It's a tough lesson to learn. There was a time when I actually dragged her off the beach. She kicked and screamed and tried to run. Her little body was greasy with sunscreen, so it probably looked like I was tearing her arms off as she kept slipping away from me. It was horribly embarrassing, and it made me about as furious as I've ever been at a child. Thankfully, Brad intervened and took her and Jake to the room for some rest time. After an hour or so, things seemed to be better. I'm hoping that Brad had a conversation with her on how to act. :) Whatever he did, worked. She was better. And, so we had to come up with some solutions for this behavior. Bailey has never been threatened by time out. She makes everyone miserable when she's in it and it simply doesn't work. What does work is taking things away. And, we finally figured out a few ways to really get her attention. First was the computer. Second was the TV in her room. Third, I promised to buy her a watch ($6 at Target) if she could go a week and a half without losing any toys. And so far, so good. It's a little combo of negative and positive reinforcement. She doesn't like it, but it's working. She even told my parents that when they aren't around, Brad and I aren't nice to her. lol. Yes, this was all during the week that Bailey had lost her computer privileges and the TV for a week. It hurt my feelings that she said it like that, but you know what? It works. She's actually listening better. And, she got the watch. She had it for about 3 hours before I had to take it away because she and her brother wouldn't stop fighting (Jake got one too), but she did get it. And, she'll get it back tomorrow morning. She still whines... don't get me wrong. We went to the Bluegrass Fair on Thursday. She whined when we left that she didn't get to ride some ride (we were there for at least 4 hours and she rode nearly everything there that she was able to ride). I just made the comment that you'd think she'd be happier after spending so much time at the fair. She quickly responded with, "Thank you for bringing us, mommy." It's really not the way that I want to teach her to appreciate things, but I hope that those little reminders of the fun that she's had will help her remember the next time that we go that we don't HAVE to do all these fun things. It's something we've had to have lots of conversations about this summer... I just hope it's sticking. 


While it's really bittersweet for me, Bailey is super-excited about school starting in August. When we found out she got into the school we were hoping for, she went through the house yelling, "I'm going to the school I wanted!" It was pretty cute and it made me really happy to see that she's not going to be the kid clinging to my leg and crying on that first day. I will probably be the one crying when I get home... knowing that her little life will pass by so quickly now. I never thought this first 5 years would go by this fast... but I've loved every little phase, good and bad, along the way. 


Which brings me to Jake. My little man who is so easy that if I had him first, I would have had like ten kids. :) He is the sweetest, funniest little boy I think I've ever been around. Mommy's little boy is the perfect description. Oh, don't get me wrong, he has his moments. But, he gives the best hugs and is the most cuddly little boy I've ever been around. He could easily sit in my lap for an hour every morning, just content to be snuggling and eating a pop tart breakfast. The complete opposite of his sister in many ways, he is calm and quiet. Not demanding or high maintenance. He follows some rules, ignores others, which can be completely terrifying for a mother. Unlike his sister, who I know would never run out into a parking lot at the ball field, I have to watch Jake's every move. He thinks it's hilarious to sneak away from me and watch me panic as I look for him. I've caught him hiding under the bleachers or behind the dugout wall too many times to count. He's always standing there watching me search for him, with a huge grin on his face. It's horrible that I want to scare him by having someone else grab him up one day, just so he can see how easy it would be when he's pulling that crap. Yes... terrifying. But, he's also a cautious kid... the one who doesn't like water in his face and doesn't like to be the first to try anything. He wants to sit back and see how everything is done before he decides he's going to join in. Yet, if you get him on a roller coaster or anything that goes super fast (sans water), he's going to outlast you. Trust me... he could have ridden the Tilt-A-Whirl for hours... I was about to die after just a few minutes. :) No haunted houses for him though... and definitely no pirates. :) 


Jake is sneaky and smart. He tricks us into things all that time. He even tricks Bailey. She's part of his laziness problem. When he avoids helping to clean up his toys, I tell him that if he doesn't pick them all up by the end of a cartoon, they are going in the garage. Instead of letting him lose his toys, Bailey cleans them up for him. She can't stand the thought of toys in the garage. He reminds me of Brad. If he hears me talking about cleaning up anything, he'll sneak down the stairs and get on the couch. Just like his dad. :) He is also stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something, he's not going to. He won't sell out. Ever. You can force him to do things by use of physical force, but he will not willingly do something he doesn't want to do. Once he's made up his mind, you will not change it. Period. While we have a serious tug of war because of that, I am also very happy about this. I just have to teach him to make the right choices and then, hopefully, he'll stick with them no matter what. :) How nice would that be?! 


Jake's stubbornness is sometimes his downfall. He refuses to learn sometimes... just because he doesn't feel like it. If I ask Jake his address or his colors or shapes or basically anything and he's not interested in doing it, he's just not going to do it. It makes us nervous about his school days. His speech is getting better, but it's not where we hoped it would be by now. Yet, we don't know if we have realistic expectations or not. It all just seems to depend on what standards we compare him to. What I hate the most about his speech is that it's beginning to affect his confidence. I can see it. It's heart-breaking. He shies away from people if they don't immediately understand what he's saying. He even lowers his head when people talk to him and refuses to answer their questions sometimes, especially if they don't seem to understand his initial conversation. Sometimes, it's not his fault... it's just that the person hasn't heard him or something. But that doesn't matter... he still gets nervous about it. So... we're working on some ways to improve that for him... not for us. I want him to be confident and not insecure being himself. I can't stand to see him avoid talking to people because he's worried they won't understand him. Monday will be a big day for us. We have an appointment with a speech therapist that morning to see what their thoughts are. If he's in a normal range of speech, then we're just going to work with him on speaking more clearly and speaking louder, and being more confident. If he has a delay, then we'll figure out the best route and go from there. In any case, I hope that he can move past that insecurity and grow up feeling stronger. 


One of my favorite things about having a boy is watching him grow up admiring his dad. Jake has always been crazy about being like Brad, but never as much as he is right now. He wants his mommy at bed time and wants me to treat him like a baby on most days. But, when it comes to dad, he wants to be big. He wants to play basketball like dad. He wants to drive a truck... well, he thinks dad's truck is HIS truck. They have already argued about it. I don't know if Brad knew how much it meant to Jake that he took Jake to Walmart with him a few weeks ago to get a tire fixed and to look around at tools and toys. I didn't know what a big deal it was in Jake's mind. But, today, we walked past the auto center at Walmart and Jake said, "Stop Mommy. Daddy bwought me here. We wooked at tools and Buzz and Woody. Wet's go wook at tools." :) And, since we have to have a hitch for our truck, daddy now has an appointment with Jake to come back to the auto area of Walmart with his little man and look at tools. :)

Popcorn Boy

What would possess a child to stick something up his nose? I have no idea. But, I do know that a popcorn kernel fits perfectly inside my son's nose and I cannot get it out without medical help. Yesterday, we spent our day in doctor's offices. Plural. Hours. In. Doctor's. Offices. 

At about 1 p.m., I was sweeping in the kitchen while the kids watched Scooby-Doo and ate popcorn. I was trying to get everything cleaned up in the kitchen so that we could go to the pool for a couple of hours. Well, that all changed. Bailey came running in to tell me that Jake had put a popcorn kernel up his nose. I ran in to find him laughing hysterically and pointing to his nose saying, "Mom... wook, I got popcown in my nose." Really? He thought it was fascinating. I tried to push on the side of his nose and have him blow it out, but it was too far up there. So, I called Brad and tried not to laugh as I told him about it. We decided to call the doctor and they told me to bring him in. 

We arrived at the doctor's office. She saw us quickly, scolded Jake, and then told me that she would send me to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist because it was too far up there and she was afraid to hurt him. So... off we went to the second doctor. Jake was thinking this was hilarious the entire time. He told nurses and doctors all about his popcorn and he was nicknamed popcorn boy at both offices. He just loved all the attention. Not a good thing at all. Bailey, on the other hand, decided that this was a good time for her to practice her bossiness and her ability to lecture Jake and spent the entire day telling him that he should NOT have done this. Funny how she was lecturing him, seeing that she stuck popcorn in her nose last summer. Fortunately, we were able to just get her popcorn out easily. Anyway, the ENT doctor was great. He sprayed some medicine in Jake's nose, took a couple of tools, and pulled it out. Jake was great through it all. He didn't seem scared at all and I didn't even have to hold his hand. He just sat there like a big boy. He's always such a tough little patient. I think he was happy to have the popcorn out... he had started complaining while we waited for the doctor that his nose was hurting and it was running a lot. Thank goodness that's all over. 

So... popcorn for Jake? Probably not... at least not without me sitting right beside him the entire time. At least Bailey had been in the room with him. I could just see me finding out a week later that Jake had put it in his nose and it had turned into some terrible infection. God only knows if he's done this before. lol. 

Checking Up with the Docs...

A few days ago we had a day filled with doctor's visits. It was a good day for confirmations. No more fears about going to the dentist or doctor for the kids' check-ups to find out that we are totally slacking in some area of their lives.

We started the day at Bailey's swimming lessons at 9 a.m. Then, we proceeded to the dentist office at 10, where Bailey and Jake did wonderfully well, sitting still and getting their teeth counted, cleaned, and flossed. I was completely impressed with Jake, who seemed terrified at the thought of sitting in the chair where his sister had been. However, a little coaxing and talking about Spiderman's bravery, and he was in the chair and ready to go. Amazing how Spiderman influences our lives. :) Then, off to lunch with Daddy at 11:30.

By 1 p.m., we were pulling in the parking lot of the doctor's office for our annual check-ups. Thankfully, both kids are doing great. The doctor was impressed with their behavior (my threats worked!) and they both did well with all of their exams. Bailey CAN hear, which means no more lying when I tell her to do something and she replies that she couldn't hear me. :) Of course, we had to have SOME drama. Bailey cried for like 15 minutes over the little prick of her finger for the blood test. Jake, on the other hand, took it like a man and only whimpered and puckered. He did, however, become highly upset that they put a band-aid on him and immediately demanded that we take it off. Both kids are growing... Bailey is 48 pounds and 3 feet 8 inches tall. That puts her in the 90th percentile of girls for her age. I was a little concerned that she might have a weight problem, but the doctor said not to worry about it. She's growing and her blood levels are all fine, so there is no need to worry. Still... a little less fat and sugar in her diet won't hurt (this is my commentary, not the doctor's). No worries, I'm not a psycho mom that is worried about her weight, but I want to make sure she grows up healthy. Jake, much like always, is the opposite of his sister. He's 29 pounds and 3 feet and a half inch tall. He is about the 15th percentile for both height and weight, whereas he used to be in the 90th or so for both. We just can't help but laugh at the cycles our kids go through. Bailey was a skinny-mini tot as a baby and now she's a solid big kid. At one point, we thought Jake was actually going to catch up with Bailey before he turned two. Well, he decided to stop gaining all that weight and only grow in height. lol. So.... that is that.

Many of you probably already know that I have been a little concerned about Jake's speech development and some of his OCD tendencies. Jake shows lots of emotion toward the people he knows and loves, he makes eye contact, plays with others most of the time, etc. However, he has a very difficult time in new situations (we often have to coach him through things), he is obsessed with Spiderman and Batman and not much else, his speech is somewhat delayed, and he seems to live in his own world at times with no interest in meeting new kids. He'll play with people he's used to, but that's typically where he draws the line. So many of our friends and relatives have told me that this is normal for a child his age and that we are being silly to note it. Yet, I didn't want to ignore anything. I can remember my youngest brother being very similar to Jake in personality and progress, especially as it relates to being social. He never really liked other kids or most people and really had no interest in getting to know them. So... we have hoped that he's just like Colt. And, the good news is that the doctor seemed to think I was overreacting. She did not make me feel like I was crazy, but did reassure me that she thinks he's developing normally, that he is probably a little more shy than most kids or maybe even not interested in other kids because he doesn't know how to approach them. His obsession with Batman and Spiderman and killing bad guys is very common. And, she thought his speech was fine. She said he was a lazier speaker than some kids his age, but that she didn't think it would have an impact long-term and to continue just working with him on enunciating. She also said she thought a lot of that was because I compared him to Bailey and because Bailey often speaks for him, solicited or not. So... a very big sigh of relief. I honestly thought she was going to suggest that we have him evaluated and entered into some kind of speech therapy, so I am very relieved. And, even more relieved to hear that everything else is OK. She did laugh and say that his OCD tendencies might need to be checked later, but that most likely they were just things that he was never going to change, regardless of what anyone said or did. She does want us to watch his social skills as he plays in soccer and swimming lessons for the next few months. If he doesn't improve, she wants us to get him evaluated. With that being said, I've already noticed on several attempts of asking Jake to make friends and helping him say hello that he's making progress. So, here's to hoping that the doctor is right.