Student of the Month

I make no excuses for bragging on my kids. I am sure it annoys the crap out of some people. Some people would probably hate to read my blog, because, in fact, a lot of it is me going on and on about my kids and how wonderful I think they are. Well, if you are one of those people, you really should stop reading this post. :)

I worked it out with my boss to come in and leave an hour early from work on Wednesday. I did this because Bailey's school has a monthly music showcase that they present and, on Wednesday, they were holding the first one of the year. Of course, I knew a lot of it would be the kids huddled up together, picking at one another, picking their noses, or waving at their families, and not a lot of it would consist of singing. I contemplated not going at all, not because I didn't want to be there, but I hated to have to "work out" my schedule when I was only two weeks into the job and then go to something at Bailey's school that wasn't really "necessary." It's kind of like I feel like I should budget these things... that I should make sure to use my time as wisely as possible because I might really "need" to be at something, like a school field trip. However, the mom guilt that plagues me daily pushed its way through and I went ahead and worked it out to go.

I was so happy that I did. Bailey's teacher, Mrs. O., came up to me as soon as I got there and said, "Oh... I am so glad you are here. I started to e-mail or call you to tell you to come, but I knew you had just started your job and I didn't want you to be really worried if you couldn't be here. Bailey is getting recognized as the Student of the Month from our class!" Relief washed over me. Thank goodness I had worked it out. Not that it would have been the end of the world if I hadn't made it. But, I know my daughter well enough to know that the self-induced guilt I have would be nothing in comparison to the guilt that she would have placed on me by saying, "And such and such's mom was there. And you and Daddy weren't... why weren't you there?" She would follow it up with a pitiful pouty face.

She was completely surprised when they called her name and gave her the certificate. She was thrilled. She kept waving to me and pointing to the certificate, and, of course, showing all of her friends. I was excited for her and very proud of her... especially when I read what the certificate said, "Bailey has a positive, can-do attitude and is a team player. She is willing to work hard to achieve her goals. Bailey works efficiently and always stays on task. She is a great friend to every child in our classroom."

I know the wonderful qualities my daughter possesses. I don't need her to get awards and trophies to make me proud of her. But, it does feel really good when others recognize all of the wonderful things that we see in her. She is a leader, not a follower. We prayed she would be able to stand on her own two feet and not follow the crowd. She loves to please people, so we have always worried that she would give in to her friends and do whatever they were doing, despite the rules. But, after seeing how well she is doing in school, we couldn't be more proud. We are so hopeful that this continues throughout the years... :)

So, sorry if I have annoyed you guys, but I just have to brag on my baby. She can be so rotten and we have such a hard time channeling all of her energy some days. As a parent, I have this intrinsic fear that we are going to screw up our kids' lives by teaching them or not teaching them things. But on days like this one, I feel confident that she will be just fine... way to go, Bailey... we are SO proud of you.

Little man goes to school. :(

This week has been... a huge cycle of fun, hectic, stressful, exciting, and 100 different various adjectives. :) And, it's only Wednesday night. 


Shew... what will it be like when I blog this weekend?! 


The week started out great with a fun girls' night with Rebecca, Dawn, and Cilla. How I love these girls. I can't even begin to tell you right here, mainly because I have a whole other post that I've been working on about them since Monday night. Obviously, time has been a little bit of an issue. Otherwise, that post would precede this one. But, well, I don't always do things that make sense, even if it drives me crazy not to have things in chronological order. Oh, I know you guys know that I like things to be in order... haven't you noticed how all of my posts start out where we left off last? :) 


Or do they? What was my last post? Oh... yep... it does start off where I left off. And we accuse Brad for being responsible for Jake's OCD behaviors. 


Anyway, back to this week... 


We had a great Monday night, closing down Pazzo's downtown. Yep, we are party animals (don't tell anyone that Pazzo's closes at 10 p.m., ok?!). It was great. It was even more fabulous that when I arrived home, my babies were bathed and in bed. I was certain that I would come home to an overturned house and two children, unbathed, running around hopped up on orange juice and popcorn. They weren't. And I love my husband for that. Sometimes... most of the time... it really is the little things that make me love him. 


I was originally supposed to start my new job on Tuesday, but because of my background check coming back with that felony.... just kidding. Because my background check didn't come back in time, I had to postpone it until Wednesday (today). After much contemplation, we decided we'd go ahead and take Jake to his first day of preschool on Tuesday and I could spend the day eating bon-bons on the couch. However, instead of my bon-bon eating party (I don't even like bon-bons... where the hell did that phrase originate?), I ended up cleaning up from the night before, because, while my hubby is a wonderful man and got the kids in the bath and the bed, he is not a saint. The house was a mess. :) But no one really cares what I did (except me). I was really, really happy to get to run 4 miles, the most I have ever run without dying. Yes, I had to get something in about running... it was killing me not to blog it, but I'm trying to refrain from making this my running blog, since Bailey asked me one day if I was working on my blog about running. That kid kills me. :) 


So, I'm totally having issues with ADD tonight... I forgot about the boiled eggs I was cooking and boiled them for over an hour. :)  FOCUS.... what were we talking about? Oh yes... Jake and his first day of preschool. (Funny, this is how all of my conversations with my mom and/or Cilla go). 


OK... so he was psyched... pumped... couldn't wait to go. He got up at like 6:15, even though he wouldn't really need to be up until 7. He was just so excited. I was thrilled. My little man was going to do fine. Well... it wasn't horrible. Yep... it was horrible. He did so good the whole way there, but when we go there, he was so nervous. He kept biting his little nails and clinging to me. He was excited to be there, but he didn't want me to leave. He kept whispering to me, "Mommy, just stay. I'll miss you." Talk about fighting back some serious tears. So, I gave him a pep talk, even though he's so insightful with people and their emotions that I'm quite certain it made things worse. I showed him toys and activities and paint and everything he loves (except superheroes, since they aren't there). His teacher talked to him and tried to get him to sit with her at the table and color a scarecrow. Yep... he wasn't interested. I am just glad he didn't tell her to do something very bad with the scarecrow, because he totally wanted to. I could tell he did. I choked back the tears, gave him a hug, and a huge smile and rushed out the door while he sat there with the saddest face I've ever seen, held to the chair by his teacher's arm. It was horrible. HORRIBLE. Like, I totally want to cry just thinking about it. 


But, when I went to pick him up, as predicted, he was thrilled. He'd had a great day and was so impressed by lunch. Little does he realize that the reason he had all of his favorites for lunch is because I pack it for him. He still has yet to realize that... even though he picked his lunchbox out and he carries it in every morning. He still just seems so impressed by the "red soup" (Spaghetti O's), the eggs, strawberries and grapes. I can't help but find that hilarious. The only real story he told us was that one of his friends wouldn't share and he was put in the timeout chair. He is apparently really bad... at least that's what Jake says. :) 


So, this morning rolls around. I'm wondering how he is going to react... because we all know Jake is NOT a morning person. He is just like me. I was praying he'd wake up on his own. Fat chance. I had to wake him up. I spent nearly 5 minutes chasing him around the house as he screamed and cried and screamed some more, "I NOT GOING TO PWESKOOL. I NOT WIKE IT. I STAY HOME AND WATCH BATMAN." Of course, I was trying to be understanding and remind him about how wonderful his day would be. He was not going to be convinced. After trying to dress him (and being completely unsuccessful at it), I told him I was going to work and taking Bailey to school and he could stay home alone. Bailey and I made our way downstairs. About 2 seconds later, he was letting me dress him, but was still yelling that he wasn't going. Whatever. 


Poor Bailey... she was trying so hard to help. She kept telling him, "Jake, preschool is so fun. You have toys to play with and everything. Kindergarten doesn't have toys, so you should be really happy to go." It was really funny to hear her repeat to him all of the things that I have said to her over the years. Adorable, but kind of odd. :) 


We made it out of the house (and for those of you wondering, Brad left to go out of town on Tuesday, conveniently, for work). :) We dropped Bailey off at school and then headed to preschool. Jake was pissed every time I mentioned it. Finally, I decided to leave him alone and see if it helped. I turned on his favorite song, "Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down (anyone have any idea why that might be his favorite song?). He said, "Is this the Suterman song (that's how he says Superman)?" I told him it was. And then, I got really creative. I told him all about how Spiderman, Batman, Superman, and Ironman went to school. How they all just LOVED school. And I pulled it all out with, "If you want to grow up and be a superhero, you are going to have to go to school like they did." He sat there for a minute, taking it all in. He looked at me and said, "I just so sweepy mom." I laughed and told him I was, too. Then, he said, "Hang on a minute." I looked back in the rearview (yes, while driving) to see him closing his eyes like he's asleep. He sat there for a second. Then, he said, "OK... I'm all weady (ready)." I thought I would crack up. So, off we went into the school. He did great and was so excited. And then, he got nervous when I got ready to leave. I reminded him about his superhero friends and how they love school. He smiled at me and agreed. He did so good... until the last goodbye. And I basically just walked out after our last hug because I just knew he was about to cry. His teacher said he had a tough time for a few minutes, but calmed down pretty quickly. Still... why does this have to be so hard?! 


When I picked him up, he was doing great. He said he had a great day. But at bedtime tonight, he told me, "I stay at home wif you, Mommy. I miss you at nap time." Seriously... the kid freaking breaks my heart. 


Roller coaster? :) Yes. Oh... and we had McDonald's for dinner, too. It was all part of the bribing process we went through this morning. I guarantee he's negotiating for it tomorrow morning. lol. 


And, so I am exhausted and ready for bed... but I have to boil more eggs before I go, because I'm "pretty" sure that boiling them for over an hour doesn't leave them tasting all that great. :) 


Please hurry home, babe. You get to take him next Tuesday and experience the torture. lol. :) 


Or at least, you get to help me hold him down while I try to dress him and then force him to go. :) 

Change... you gotta love it

Before my gallbladder surgery and earlier in the summer, I talked to a former employer of mine about coming back to work for her part-time. It looked like a very good possibility, but we had to wait for some funding things and approvals to work themselves out. I haven't mentioned it on my blog, mainly because I was worried to death that I would jinx it. Things like that have a way of happening. 

I'm still nervous that I'm blogging about it before actually working. Isn't that funny? I guess I'm gun-shy?

Anyway, it has taken a while... and it has been in perfect timing. I was worried that it would all come together when I was in the process of having surgery or recovering and I'd miss out on the opportunity. Or that I would try to push myself and wouldn't be ready. 

But, it looks as if it is working itself out. That means that I will be going back to work a few days a week, but will still be able to pick up Bailey from school, help her with her homework and get dinner ready before Brad gets home. I'll be able to make it to all the ball games on time and will have time to serve as the Girl Scouts troop leader (reluctantly, but willingly, I suppose). It seems like the absolute most perfect scenario. I'll be able to make some money, stay in the workforce, and still be the mom that I want to be. Jake will go to preschool, which makes us all a little nervous, but will be something really good for him and something that I think he will really enjoy. He won't enjoy the early mornings where he has to actually function instead of sitting on the couch and playing with his toys quietly, but at least he'll get into a routine and will get to use that backpack that he's dragged around everywhere for the past month or so.

It's a new development for us, but something that I feel really good about. I think it will be a great opportunity for us all. And, the best thing about it, I don't have the nervous, new job feel with it. I know enough about it to get in and get my hands dirty pretty quickly. I know my boss and my co-workers, for the most part, and have stayed in touch with them over the past few years. I think it will all just come together quite nicely. 


We looked at a preschool that I've heard good things about today. I wasn't sure how Jake would handle it. He was a little shy, at first, but quickly found that he loved the toys, the kids, the teacher, everything. I had to literally drag him out of there. There are only 6 kids in his class, mostly all boys, so it seems like the perfect place for him. I think he's totally going to love it. You can only imagine how happy I am to see that he's going to enjoy it. I hope it is this easy when we actually get started. We shall see. :)

Rain, rain, go away???

Earlier this morning, I sat down with my calendar (planning is key) and compared it with the most wonderful, fabulous training plan that Dawn gave me before my gallbladder decided to give me such a wonderful time. It is an eight-week plan to get me running a 10K at the speed I'd like to run it (around 10 minutes per mile). I mapped out my plan so that I can run a 10K in the middle of November. And I wasn't that shocked to see that I need to be running 4 miles, 4 times a week next week. Sigh. I'm sure that it will not be easy. But, I wouldn't want to do it if it was easy, right? Everyone would do it then.


It is a little nerve-wracking, seeing that I haven't ran that much in the past month or so. But, it's a goal. A goal that means I needed to run tonight. No matter what. Because otherwise, my schedule just will fall apart. Maybe not completely, but it would sure feel that way and stressing over this is the LAST thing I want to do. 

The sky was black. The kids and I had gone to a PTA meeting (yes, I live in THAT world now) and when we came back to the car, the ground was wet. It looked like it was just the beginning of a huge storm. A storm that our grass is dying of thirst for. A storm that was blowing in and testing me and my tenacity. 

Brad got home a few minutes after us and I was ready to go running. He laughed when I told him to come get me if a downpour came. Bailey was freaking out that I was going to get soaked and kept telling me not to go. I think she's terrified of being struck by lightning. I guess I shouldn't have told her about my papaw being struck by lightning twice in his life (it didn't kill him, cancer did). 

I didn't listen to Bailey, but I was really thinking the first five minutes out there that I have the smartest kid in the world and that I totally should listen to her more. :) What idiot goes running outside when the clouds are pitch black and when lightning was striking a few miles away. That would be me. 

I started running. The wind felt wonderful. I was really happy to be running. It felt great. I had no pain in my side and, despite the looming clouds overhead, it was the perfect temperature. I was kind of racing the storm. I honestly think it helped. I ran for 2.25 miles in 25 minutes. Straight. Without stopping. I couldn't believe it. I really thought I might be able to make it to the 2 mile mark, but I wasn't sure. I was really worried about it. But, now I'm convinced. I can do 3 miles on Thursday. I can do 4 miles by Sunday. And I will do 4 miles on 4 occasions next week. I can do this. Come one... pray for me. I'm hoping I can do this. Positive thinking, right?! :) 

Goals always help me. 

My other love

The fall weather is in the air. There's a fresh cloud of moisture on the windshield and the air is just chilly enough to feel like fall. It is almost here. I've blogged before about the fall. I love it. I love all the seasons really, but there's something special about the fall. I love the feeling of the air, the smell of the moisture, the beautiful colors of the trees when they change... all of it.


But none of that compares to the feeling I get when I walk up to a stadium full of people and see a football team on the field. The ACDC blaring over the loud speakers, the smell of popcorn, team colors on little boys that dream to be on that field, and big bows and cheerleading outfits on baby girls who will grow up and stand on that sideline... it all just thrills me. I can feel it deep down... and my adrenaline just rushes and I can't help but smile. I just love football. It's happiness for me.


If only Bailey were a boy... :)


I drove past a field of kids practicing the other day. I wished with everything in me that we were there instead of the t-ball field. Not that I don't love t-ball... I'm just passionate about football. I pray that Jake loves it like us... because I really NEED him to play. lol. Not really... I'm not the parent that will push him to do it even if he doesn't want to, but I really have to admit that I want him to want to. I really want him to want to. :)  I can't help it... I just love football.


But, until Jake is ready, if he ever decides to be (hopefully when he's young, but we'll settle for eventually), we will go support UK and watch our fill of ball on TV (Go Mountaineers). I'll pick my fantasy football team and watch players I've never heard of before, hoping they'll score or not score so that I can come out a winner at the end of the weekend. I hope I can get back home to see my brother's stepsons play at some point this fall. It's so much fun to see a little kid learning what to do on the field. It's just so much fun...


We will patiently wait with hope that we will be soon enough watching Jake on the football field, spending our time teaching him about options, bootleg passes, blitzes, and end-arounds. And, most likely how to avoid getting hit or at least how to take a hit by some really big kids since he's really small. :) Tough or not... a big kid on top of him isn't exactly what I'm excited about seeing. :)

Month of Waiting = Over

I am ready to celebrate. I feel alive. I am not waiting on things right now (at least not entirely). I am just happy. Content. Not waiting... impatiently on much. :)


And, even better, I just ate wonderful asian zing wings and potato wedges for lunch. I actually don't feel hungry for at least the first time in a month. And... I'm not sick. At all. I feel great. 


I'm not perfectly over the surgery. I'm still having some trouble with my side, but the doctor told me today that it is probably just a little inflammation on my diaphragm (for those of you who don't know anatomy - that's the band of muscle that separates your chest from your abdomen). It just hurts when I take a deep breath. But, with some ibuprofen, I'm OK. It should heal quickly. 


The doctor gave me some other great news... I can run again! I didn't expect it to come for a couple more weeks, but he says I'm good to go. I can't lift anything heavy for a while longer, but running is fine. He also told me that my gallbladder pathology revealed that my gallbladder was diseased, which means that once I get over these little humps, I should be fine. It feels so good to hear that! 


And, more good news... Jake's Early Start evaluation was today. Basically, to qualify for the program his score had to be 75 or lower. He scored a 76. They would have let him come into the program two days a week for two hours, but the speech therapist and I talked about it for a long time. He has made so much progress in the last month. It seems like since Bailey has gone to school and he has had some significant one-on-one time with us and his grandparents while I was out sick last week, he has improved so much. So, I kind of expected him to do better at this evaluation than he did at the last one. And, I was right. The therapist gave me a bunch of information and activities to help work with him at home. She recommended that we work with him over the next four weeks at home and see if he improves. She gave us specific things to focus on and if he isn't progressing, we can re-evaluate and put him into the program at any time in the near future. 


This is a great relief to me. I feel like I was right to get him some assistance, but I am also not sitting here worrying that he's going to have to struggle to catch up and be where he needs to be. It's a good place to be... to feel like we caught it early enough to make an easy adjustment, but we aren't having to make a huge lifestyle change for him either. 


So, yes... I'm ready to celebrate. The month of waiting for results and of me being entirely impatient... is OVER. :) I have one more doctor's appointment to go to for a physical. This one will be to re-evaluate everything without my gallbladder and see if I am still showing signs of Sjogren's Syndrome. If I am, then I'll have to go down that road. But, I'm not worrying about it. And, I'm not feeling impatient about it. It's there, in the back of my mind, but I am so prepared for it that I'm just feeling good. If I have that, or something similar, I can deal with it. I can live with it. It just leaves me with a loose end... but not one that is controlling my life like this stupid gallbladder seems to have done. :) 


Finally... I feel like a normal person again. I'm celebrating... :) 

My Little Speaker

To distract myself from my growling stomach and my aching side and back, I am up sewing cornhole bags. Yippee. :) Actually, my sewing machine is embroidering cornhole bags, so I'm sitting on the computer, waiting for it to finish so that I can sew them. 


Anyway... I thought I'd do a quick update, since I haven't already, about Jake's speech therapy. 


I believe that the last time I posted anything about this we were still waiting to hear from the speech therapist. Sorry if I'm wrong and have posted more... 


I talked to the speech therapist that did Jake's evaluation about a week after we went in. She reported that he was in need of therapy two times a week for 30 minutes each session. Nothing that she told me surprised me... we were very aware of the areas that he did well in and the areas he didn't do well in. The only real surprise in the conversation was the fact that she failed to check to see if he would qualify for anything through the school system. I had asked for her to let me know if he would qualify for Early Start or for the speech therapy component of the Early Start program. She didn't. When I asked why, her response was that they felt that one-on-one attention at their office was more beneficial. I think that they really thought the $80 out-of-pocket-after-insurance co-pay was more important. Sorry. I know business is business, but really? So, I called back to the Early Start office (we had already talked once and they weren't able to get him in to get evaluated until August). I talked to the lady in the office, who indicated that she thought if he qualified with one therapist, he'd qualify for another. So, we wait until they come back in to the office on Wednesday. We'll schedule an appointment at that time to see if he qualifies for Early Start or just for speech therapy or anything at all. For free. :) 


Yes, God is teaching me patience this week. :) He's trying to at least... I'm not a very good student. :) 


I love my baby boy... he's going to be a fine speaker one day... I just know it. :)

And the Organ Comes Out...

Last night, I wrote a post and didn't post it. I was tempted to post it, but I knew that all of you would worry about me... you would all send me such sweet and encouraging messages... you would all pray for me. It isn't that I didn't want to hear from you and to know that you all were thinking about me. I guess I just felt like it would be very selfish for me to post this and have you all worried. 

I'm glad I didn't post it. But I feel guilty for not posting it.

It wasn't a super-depressed post. It was actually pretty positive. But, it showed a very vulnerable me... a part of me that I don't really like. I know we all have our vulnerabilities, but I don't like them. I like feeling positive, secure, strong, and happy. I don't like being negative. I don't like feeling like anyone would have pity on me. I'm filled with pride... sinful pride. :) 

I feel like I cheated on my blog readers by not being my real, vulnerable self. Because truly, this blog is supposed to be about life... real life. Not only the good parts of life. :) All of it. 

Fortunately, I found out good news today. Or so, I guess... I found out that I have to have surgery. Good news? Well, everything just depends on perspective, right? The gallbladder must come out. I had to have extra blood work done to check my liver, which makes me a little nervous still, but for the most part, it looks like my gallbladder is the problem. If my liver is having problems too, well, I'll just cross that bridge then. It will be a week before we have those results. 

Since I am happy with the outcome, at this point anyway, or at least content that there is some resolution here, I figured I'd share with you an apology for not being my real self. In a nutshell, this is what I thought and how it all transpired. This is not the post I wrote, but it describes how I felt pretty much in a shorter version.  

My best friend's mantra to life - Everything happens for a reason. That's what I had to repeat to myself. I read the mail that Bailey brought in yesterday morning (Sunday). It had sat in the mailbox all night. I read my blood work report. It said my bilirubin levels were high and my white blood cell count was low. 

Google, please. Bad idea. 

Liver cancer. Wilson's Disease. Hepatitis. An onslaught of problems with the liver. So many that I could have read all day in fear. 

To church, we went. Brad yelled at me and threatened to take away my computer. I pouted.

I cried at church. Not openly, but privately. I bargained with God. And then I realized that the post Cilla had written could have been written for me instead of her. That truly... God had sent me a message instead of sending it to her. I needed to know that God's will was more important than mine. I gave in. I forfeited to God. I decided that I might be unhappy with my path, if I had a liver disease, surgery, a short life, whatever. But that God had a plan and I had to fulfill it. All I needed to pray for was strength, courage, and patience. 

Last night, I wrote a post about giving up... but not to give up hope... to surrender my worries to God. Yes, if I were you and I read it, I would worry about my state of mind. Not because it was crazy... but because I'm not the type that gives up easily. :) So, I would worry that Andrea had truly come to the last straw or something. :) That's why it won't be posted. 

No worries, everyone. I'm in a great place. In a great state of mind and sadly, I'm content to get an organ removed. Is that seriously possible for Andrea Ooten? lol... 

Yes. It. Is. :)

About my kids

Since I'm frustrated about running or the lack thereof, and because I am nervous about tomorrow morning, and since my husband and two children have been fast asleep since 10, I have lots of energy. Not really energy to go do anything or to fold the laundry that really needs to be folded. Energy to do things like... play on the computer or think too much. I could easily watch a movie, but I can't really focus on the television, what with the thinking and all. 


So, I blog... driving everyone crazy with my erratic behavior... blog five times in a day... then don't blog at all for five days... etc. :) Sorry. I know... it annoys me, too. 


I have lots to blog about over the past couple of weeks... we have been very busy. I could list it all here, but I'm actually going to do that in my next "big" post. Sorry. I know the long ones aren't everyone's favorites (well, sometimes they are), but I can't see getting "caught up" on all of it without just doing a "Summer Activities" post, complete with lots of pictures and small notes about the actual trips. Hehehe... I know. You are all saying, "Yeah... right... small notes about the trips. That won't happen. She has to tell the backstory on EVERYTHING." :) Are you wondering why I don't just do that post now? Well, I'm being lazy, icing my foot on an elevated chair in the office, and I simply don't want to walk downstairs to get the camera from my purse to download pictures. 


Instead, I'm going to tell you about my kids, as if you don't already know a lot about them. You don't have to read if I get too long-winded. I know sometimes I don't want to read what I've written. lol. But, sometimes, I feel like I need to tell about things that my kids will want to read about when they are older... you know, how they acted and what they "did" that made me so crazy. So completely crazy... about them. 


I'll start with Bailey... she's the oldest and would totally think that she deserves to go first... it's an argument I hear daily. It's OK though. Jake just looks at Bailey after everything and says, "I win," and she is totally exasperated because she can't make him understand that she won. :)


Bailey is a great little girl... always interested in following the rules and doing the right thing. She does this almost to a fault, driving us crazy telling on her brother or reminding us not to break our own rules from time to time (she loves to lecture Brad when he and Paul smoke cigars or tell me to slow down when I'm driving too fast and yelling at people in front of me). She is going to be the teacher's pet, I'm sure. She just has that personality. If you have seen the movie School of Rock, just imagine the little girl who is the band manager and you'll get a pretty solid idea of why I think Bailey is going to be the pet. :) She loves to play school, often calling me teacher and raising her hand throughout the day. I love it that she's so interested in learning, even if her unending questions sometimes baffle me and leave me wishing that I had all the answers so that I wouldn't have to say, "I don't know... ask your dad," so much. It's a pride thing, people. I don't want to be less smart than daddy, in anyone's eyes. :) She loves to play rough... she can wrestle with the boys on any given day, but is just as likely to be caught kissing one as punching one. She is a girly girl, in every sense. She has this way about her... she is just naturally prissy. She pushes her hair away from her face very flippantly, as if she is a princess. And, she definitely is convinced that she is a real princess, I am a queen, Daddy is the King, and Jake is the prince. I believe that she had a sincere argument with some of the kids in her preschool about this... she came home to tell me all about how one little girl told her that she wasn't a "real" princess and that I really needed to go in to school and explain to them that she was indeed a real princess. Yes, you can imagine my difficulty in managing that conversation. Obviously, I was not convincing when I explained how she is our princess. She still thinks she's a real princess. She even asked when we were going to move into the castle on Versailles Road. :) She is so excited about starting dance classes this fall. I have caught her on multiple occasions dancing in front of her mirror in her room, practicing ballet. It's really adorable.  


Bailey acts ten years older than she should be. We forget that she's only five pretty regularly. She is too intelligent for her own good sometimes, which backfires more on her than it does on us. She ends up in trouble for things that most five-year olds wouldn't get into trouble for, simply because we know she understands right from wrong so well. It's not fair to her. I can see that Jake already gets by with things that Bailey did not get by with at the age of three. I hate that. I hate it because that was me and it sucked. The boys always got by with more than I did. Not cool, but a reality that I must admit is simply inevitable. I can't change it, despite my attempts to become more aware of it. It's just simply there.


She's been harder on us this summer than usual. She is going through a phase where she whines when she doesn't get her way. She whines when she does get her way. She just whines a lot. And if there's one thing in this world that I always swore I would never let my kid do, it was whine. So... you can imagine how tough of a summer it's been in that sense. Vacation was interesting. Bailey whined to go to the beach. Then, when we got there, she'd be satisfied for a few minutes, then she'd whine to go to the pool. She'd whine that she was hot, then whine that she was cold. Everything was hard for Bailey... she just had a rough time realizing that the world does not revolve around her and her alone. It's a tough lesson to learn. There was a time when I actually dragged her off the beach. She kicked and screamed and tried to run. Her little body was greasy with sunscreen, so it probably looked like I was tearing her arms off as she kept slipping away from me. It was horribly embarrassing, and it made me about as furious as I've ever been at a child. Thankfully, Brad intervened and took her and Jake to the room for some rest time. After an hour or so, things seemed to be better. I'm hoping that Brad had a conversation with her on how to act. :) Whatever he did, worked. She was better. And, so we had to come up with some solutions for this behavior. Bailey has never been threatened by time out. She makes everyone miserable when she's in it and it simply doesn't work. What does work is taking things away. And, we finally figured out a few ways to really get her attention. First was the computer. Second was the TV in her room. Third, I promised to buy her a watch ($6 at Target) if she could go a week and a half without losing any toys. And so far, so good. It's a little combo of negative and positive reinforcement. She doesn't like it, but it's working. She even told my parents that when they aren't around, Brad and I aren't nice to her. lol. Yes, this was all during the week that Bailey had lost her computer privileges and the TV for a week. It hurt my feelings that she said it like that, but you know what? It works. She's actually listening better. And, she got the watch. She had it for about 3 hours before I had to take it away because she and her brother wouldn't stop fighting (Jake got one too), but she did get it. And, she'll get it back tomorrow morning. She still whines... don't get me wrong. We went to the Bluegrass Fair on Thursday. She whined when we left that she didn't get to ride some ride (we were there for at least 4 hours and she rode nearly everything there that she was able to ride). I just made the comment that you'd think she'd be happier after spending so much time at the fair. She quickly responded with, "Thank you for bringing us, mommy." It's really not the way that I want to teach her to appreciate things, but I hope that those little reminders of the fun that she's had will help her remember the next time that we go that we don't HAVE to do all these fun things. It's something we've had to have lots of conversations about this summer... I just hope it's sticking. 


While it's really bittersweet for me, Bailey is super-excited about school starting in August. When we found out she got into the school we were hoping for, she went through the house yelling, "I'm going to the school I wanted!" It was pretty cute and it made me really happy to see that she's not going to be the kid clinging to my leg and crying on that first day. I will probably be the one crying when I get home... knowing that her little life will pass by so quickly now. I never thought this first 5 years would go by this fast... but I've loved every little phase, good and bad, along the way. 


Which brings me to Jake. My little man who is so easy that if I had him first, I would have had like ten kids. :) He is the sweetest, funniest little boy I think I've ever been around. Mommy's little boy is the perfect description. Oh, don't get me wrong, he has his moments. But, he gives the best hugs and is the most cuddly little boy I've ever been around. He could easily sit in my lap for an hour every morning, just content to be snuggling and eating a pop tart breakfast. The complete opposite of his sister in many ways, he is calm and quiet. Not demanding or high maintenance. He follows some rules, ignores others, which can be completely terrifying for a mother. Unlike his sister, who I know would never run out into a parking lot at the ball field, I have to watch Jake's every move. He thinks it's hilarious to sneak away from me and watch me panic as I look for him. I've caught him hiding under the bleachers or behind the dugout wall too many times to count. He's always standing there watching me search for him, with a huge grin on his face. It's horrible that I want to scare him by having someone else grab him up one day, just so he can see how easy it would be when he's pulling that crap. Yes... terrifying. But, he's also a cautious kid... the one who doesn't like water in his face and doesn't like to be the first to try anything. He wants to sit back and see how everything is done before he decides he's going to join in. Yet, if you get him on a roller coaster or anything that goes super fast (sans water), he's going to outlast you. Trust me... he could have ridden the Tilt-A-Whirl for hours... I was about to die after just a few minutes. :) No haunted houses for him though... and definitely no pirates. :) 


Jake is sneaky and smart. He tricks us into things all that time. He even tricks Bailey. She's part of his laziness problem. When he avoids helping to clean up his toys, I tell him that if he doesn't pick them all up by the end of a cartoon, they are going in the garage. Instead of letting him lose his toys, Bailey cleans them up for him. She can't stand the thought of toys in the garage. He reminds me of Brad. If he hears me talking about cleaning up anything, he'll sneak down the stairs and get on the couch. Just like his dad. :) He is also stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something, he's not going to. He won't sell out. Ever. You can force him to do things by use of physical force, but he will not willingly do something he doesn't want to do. Once he's made up his mind, you will not change it. Period. While we have a serious tug of war because of that, I am also very happy about this. I just have to teach him to make the right choices and then, hopefully, he'll stick with them no matter what. :) How nice would that be?! 


Jake's stubbornness is sometimes his downfall. He refuses to learn sometimes... just because he doesn't feel like it. If I ask Jake his address or his colors or shapes or basically anything and he's not interested in doing it, he's just not going to do it. It makes us nervous about his school days. His speech is getting better, but it's not where we hoped it would be by now. Yet, we don't know if we have realistic expectations or not. It all just seems to depend on what standards we compare him to. What I hate the most about his speech is that it's beginning to affect his confidence. I can see it. It's heart-breaking. He shies away from people if they don't immediately understand what he's saying. He even lowers his head when people talk to him and refuses to answer their questions sometimes, especially if they don't seem to understand his initial conversation. Sometimes, it's not his fault... it's just that the person hasn't heard him or something. But that doesn't matter... he still gets nervous about it. So... we're working on some ways to improve that for him... not for us. I want him to be confident and not insecure being himself. I can't stand to see him avoid talking to people because he's worried they won't understand him. Monday will be a big day for us. We have an appointment with a speech therapist that morning to see what their thoughts are. If he's in a normal range of speech, then we're just going to work with him on speaking more clearly and speaking louder, and being more confident. If he has a delay, then we'll figure out the best route and go from there. In any case, I hope that he can move past that insecurity and grow up feeling stronger. 


One of my favorite things about having a boy is watching him grow up admiring his dad. Jake has always been crazy about being like Brad, but never as much as he is right now. He wants his mommy at bed time and wants me to treat him like a baby on most days. But, when it comes to dad, he wants to be big. He wants to play basketball like dad. He wants to drive a truck... well, he thinks dad's truck is HIS truck. They have already argued about it. I don't know if Brad knew how much it meant to Jake that he took Jake to Walmart with him a few weeks ago to get a tire fixed and to look around at tools and toys. I didn't know what a big deal it was in Jake's mind. But, today, we walked past the auto center at Walmart and Jake said, "Stop Mommy. Daddy bwought me here. We wooked at tools and Buzz and Woody. Wet's go wook at tools." :) And, since we have to have a hitch for our truck, daddy now has an appointment with Jake to come back to the auto area of Walmart with his little man and look at tools. :)

The Blog Evolution... or something like that.

My blog is evolving. I’m sure you all have noticed it. It’s transforming… spiraling out of control? Well, I might be a little dramatic, but hey, that’s what you get with me sometimes.

I started my blog at the encouragement of a wonderful friend. She inspired me by starting a blog about her children, their journey through life, and the ups and downs of parenting. I had been struggling to keep up with updates to friends and family who live out of town, scrap booking  about the kids’ different stages of lives, keeping up with baby books, and trying to keep my thoughts straight about how I felt about many things. Heck, I would have been happy if I could have just had photos printed before they were a year outdated. I wanted a place to air my ideas and thoughts, vent about crazy things that happen, and, well, you get the idea. So, Life with the Ootens was born.

I have sporadically updated it, trying to keep up with life and post about how we are handling different stages of our lives. I’ve posted daily for weeks and then spent months away from the blog, avoiding it entirely because I had too much to say. Until recently…

I can’t quite pinpoint what happened to make me decide that I wanted to live life a little differently. I could reel off a hundred different things that played a role in my decision to live by a “list,” but that would take a while. It’s easier to just say that I needed to do something new and set some goals. So, as you all know, I created my list.

Now, I’m at a point where I’m trying to decide how to reorganize my blog accordingly, so you might see some changes in the very near future. I’m pretty excited about it. No worries though… I won’t be losing any of the aspects of my parenting and updates on the kids. And, I will most definitely be posting about my list, my life, and all the struggles and successes that go along with it. After all, it is a blog about Life with the Ootens, as hectic as that might be. J I had contemplated separating my blogs into a family blog and a list blog, but it just doesn’t come naturally. There is no way to separate my life into neat little segments, no matter how OCD I am. The kids are definitely a huge factor in why I want to accomplish so many of the things on my list. It is important for me to be their mom (number 1), but more important for me to have an identity other than just their mom. So, it will remain one blog.  Sidebar – the idea that me being more than a mom to my kids is already taking hold. I am already seeing positive response from that with Bailey. She thinks I’m incredibly cool because I’ve been running. J She told my mom all about how I have been training really hard. So cute.

There are more things that I want to write about this whole blog evolution (as I am proclaiming it). One of the biggest reasons that I started this is because I wanted more from my life… wanted to help others… wanted to be on a mission to help my friends, my family, and myself to live the fullest life possible. You simply cannot imagine how happy I am that my very best friend in the world tells me this morning that she’s been working on her list... and she reads it to me. None of you understand what it means to me that you even read my rambling blog posts, much less to think that they actually impact your lives in the slightest way. She’s not the only person out there that’s made me feel like I am doing more than just egotistically rambling about how I want my life to be and what I want to accomplish (as if everyone in the world really wants to know). Another friend confided that she is contemplating her own run in the fall. Another friend is working on the soundtrack of her life (and I fully expect a blog to come from that – hint, hint). I keep getting wonderfully positive e-mails from you guys. You all inspire me to want to keep doing this. You guys keep telling me things on your list and I know that I’m never going to completely finish a list because you remind me of things that I’ve always wanted to do that aren’t on my list. Lol. 


All of you readers (I think there are three of you – just kidding) out there are making me so happy. I can’t wait to open my e-mail after I’ve blogged something. I hear you all encouraging me and it makes me smile. But, I have to say that what is making me happier is hearing about your different goals and “list” items that you are doing. It’s funny that some of you are worried that I’ll think you are “copying” me by doing things on your list. DON’T! I’m not listing these things so that no one else can do it. In fact, I think that might just be what I love the most about my blog in its new stages... I am finding common ground with people that I didn't even realized I shared with them. I am hearing fun stories about things they've done that are on my list or hearing about how I definitely need to make parasailing a priority for this summer because it really is that awesome. I think we all have a list that we have kept mentally. Most of us have never written it down or made it public. Most of us change it frequently, without even meaning to. If my list helps you mark things off your list, or even begin to keep your list, go for it! I would feel honored that anything I have done or will do could have a positive impact on someone else. But, please, I beg you… share, even if it’s only with me and you don’t want me to tell anyone. Because, THAT is what is keeping me inspired… that and my kids, my husband, blah, blah, blah. 


The list goes on… Literally.

Up Hill Both Ways...

I'm trying to work on a couple of freelance grant projects, but my computer is downloading a new version of Adobe, so I am waiting...

In the meantime, I thought I'd try to post something. Typically, I have a running list of things on my mind that I'd like to post about, but tonight I was planning on writing about the benefits of arts programming in central Kentucky, not about myself or the kids. lol.

So, forgive me if this isn't the best post in the world!

We put the kids' trampoline up this weekend. We've had it in our garage since the day after Thanksgiving. Yep, you read it right. I bought it then for the kids' birthday for a whopping $160. We showed it to them on their birthdays, but really had not had a good opportunity to get it up in the yard. We are now officially the greatest parents in the world. lol. The kids are so thrilled with it that Jake actually woke us up on Sunday morning at 8 a.m., asking us to go jumping with him. They jumped that morning, in the rain and freezing cold, for about 30 minutes before we forced them to come in. They love it. And, they aren't the only ones. Brad has had his fair share of enjoyment showing off his youthful spirit and doing three back tucks in a row, totally impressing his children. lol. Bailey and Jake's version of his flips are quite hilarious... somewhat dangerous-looking, as they typically involve their foreheads hitting the trampoline, but hilarious nonetheless. And I, even with my ankle hurting, have enjoyed a few bounces and laying on the trampoline while the kids try to bounce me in the air. There's something about it that makes you smile, no matter how old you are.

What's really funny about all of this is that, while Brad still can manage his flips on the trampoline and still looks like a teenager with a big grin on his face the entire time, it has made me realize what old fogeys we are becoming. We have spent more time talking about how "back in the 80s, we didn't have those nets around the trampoline protecting us from falling off the side or getting caught in the springs." :) I think I've had that conversation with everyone in my age group in the past week. We've all compared injuries and mishaps and all of the crazy stunts that we tried that my kids' generation would never even attempt. It just makes me feel like I should tell the kids that I walked ten miles to school in the pouring snow, up hill both ways, sat in the classroom with no heat, and had to come home and cut firewood after class. lol. That's something my papaw would have said...

In all seriousness, I catch myself doing this all the time! I catch myself telling Bailey and Jake about how good they have it and how we didn't have all these luxuries in my day. And, I shudder each time I'm saying it because I know what I sound like. Yet, I continue to do it. I suppose each generation feels that way toward their children. And, theoretically, it is that generation's own fault for providing that luxury to their children. So, why should we lecture them about it when we are the ones providing it and enabling them? I guess to make them appreciate it. But, man, I so hated to hear my grandparents and parents ramble on and on about how great we had it and how terrible they had it. I hate to do that to my kids, too. But, I know I won't stop. lol. It must just be a natural instinct.

So, Bailey and Jake... when you are older and are reading this, you now know why I drove you crazy with my stories of the old days and that I hated that I couldn't stop telling you about it, but you'll do it to your kids, too. So... get over it. :)

Soundtrack of my life

I've always heard people say that we all have soundtracks for our lives. I honestly can say that certain songs will take me back to completely different times in my life. For instance, hearing Mariah Carey takes me instantly back to my bedroom in high school, where I laid on my bed and belted out the entire CD for hours. For any of you who know how wonderful (insert sarcasm here) my voice is, you know why that is so hilarious to me. I can hear a Boyz II Men song and I think of my friend Jackie and the many evenings we spent entertaining my parents by singing these songs while standing on our "stage" (the ledge in front of our old fireplace). Yes, I do realize that 13 was a little old to be doing that, but we had a great time. lol... And the list goes on... I could probably turn on the radio right now and find a song that would "take me back."

Anyway, when I was a little girl, I really enjoyed reading poetry. It took a while for me before I realized that so many of the songs that I loved were poems in and of themselves. Sometimes, I hear a song, listen to the words, and something about them will just stick with me. I thought about starting my own little collection of these lyrics, but that seems kind of silly to me. I don't know why, but I just don't want to be the hoarder of song lyrics for some reason. Probably because I'm already tracking and hoarding so many other things.

So, maybe I'll just post one every now and then that is fun or interesting or somehow affecting me.

The first one is American Honey by Lady Antebellum. When I first heard this song, I thought it was kind of cheesy or silly. Then, I read the lyrics... and it's really sweet. I can relate with it in terms of missing the "good ole days" when things were slower and easier and I spent hours upon hours roaming the countryside behind my grandparents' home or laying in a field reading a book. I've said it in my posts before, but it makes me sad that my kids won't have that slow, country lifestyle. You learn a lot about how to be comfortable with yourself and to just "be" when you don't have anything in the world to distract you from yourself. Yep... I know... that was as clear as mud. lol.

So... here's the lyrics for American Honey, if you haven't already heard it 1,000 times on the radio. :)

She grew up on a side of the road
Where the church bells ring and strong love grows
She grew up good
She grew up slow
Like American honey

Steady as a preacher
Free as a weed
Couldn't wait to get goin'
But wasn't quite ready to leave
So innocent, pure and sweet
American honey

There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summer time
And American honey

Get caught in the race
Of this crazy life
Trying to be everything can make you lose your mind
I just wanna go back in time
To American honey, yea

There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing's sweeter than summer time
And American honey

Gone for so long now
I gotta get back to her somehow
To American honey

Ooh There's a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothin's sweeter than summer time
And American honey
And American honey

Tough Parts of Parenting

One of the hardest parts about parenting for me is being objective. I remember before I had kids... there were just things that I knew I would do or not do. It was simple to me... black and white... easy. Funny how that all changes with your child's very first breath of life. Not only do you find the most love in the world, you have a whole new set of mistakes just ready to be made.

I know that when I look at my children, they are happy. They are mostly good and always loving. They aren't perfect. They can be complete brats. They can ignore simple commands out of choice and make decisions that they know are poor choices just to get attention.

So, why worry? I don't know. Maybe because Brad and I were raised a little differently than our two kids are being raised. We both were raised with a little less than most, learning to appreciate and value the things we had because we didn't have everything. We both saw our parents work hard and struggle and not always make enough for everything. We also both saw that our parents worked hard and gave us everything we needed and most of the things that we wanted, even when it meant they had to sacrifice their own wants and needs. It's a real catch-22 for us in figuring out how to balance the way we raise them. We want to give them every experience... we want them to have the things that make them happy. I would even venture to say that we want them to have any experience we did have or didn't have. At the same time, we want the kids to appreciate these things. We want them to get that same thrill that we both got over small things in life or the awe and excitement over the big things in life. So, how do we balance it? We work on it. In a lot of ways, I think it would be good for us to take away some of the luxuries our kids are used to... make them realize how easy they have it. And, at some point, I'm sure that we will do just that... when we see that the kids really don't appreciate the wonderful things they receive. Right now, we see them get excited about things and see them awestruck at the wonders of the world. There are other glimpses though... I am just hoping that we don't see them getting stronger or taking over their little lives. We shall see...

Tomorrow night just might be a test for Bailey. I'm often concerned that she might not realize how wonderful her life is... she is increasingly demanding and high-maintenance. She and I have tickets to the Taylor Swift concert. She seems really excited, but a little confused about what we will be doing. I'm hopeful that once she sees it, she will be amazed. My fingers are crossed...

And, if she doesn't enjoy it the way I hope she will, it will be the last one she goes to until she is much older. :) And, I will have a heck of a good time anyway! :)

Stay-at-home mom... chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, baker, seamstress...

Before I was a stay-at-home mom...

I envisioned days of a completely clutter-free, clean house, with meals organized ahead of time and a calendar that both made sense and was easy to keep.

I imagined sitting down with a good book every once in a while to read while the kids enjoyed playing outside or inside, depending on the weather.

I dreamed of going to the grocery store with a list and coming home, having not forgotten anything on said list and not needing to make a return trip for at least a week.

I thought it would be easier to schedule lunch dates and play time with friends.


Now that I am a stay-at-home mom...

I wish that my house would stay clean for at least an hour. Just one hour... not even a whole day. :)

I wish that I could remember what day of the week it was and which person has to be where and when. Just to keep up with t-ball, swimming, soccer, church, preschool, birthday parties, Brad's softball/basketball schedule, and my need for at least some semblance of a life, I have to have a calendar... just like the one I used when I worked. Seriously?! :)

Read? A book? What?

Grocery trips = at least twice a week, but most of the time I forget something and have to go again. lol.

Lunch with friends? Getting around to it... constantly getting around to it. If they'll ever still have me by the time I "get around to it." :)

However, I am NOT in any way complaining. I honestly could not ask for a better life (maybe just a little better organizational skills)... I get to watch my kiddos grow up, enjoy the little things, like a long walk, a push on the swings, or stories about princesses that kiss frogs or heroes that kill bad guys, and I get to spend my weekends enjoying my time with my hubby instead of playing catch up on the cleaning and laundry. Complaining? Absolutely not... just thinking about how naive I was. :)

So... to the lady who asked me if it was nice just laying around the house instead of working... :) Well... glad she doesn't read my posts, because I might just have to give her an earful!

And... our Big Birthday Boy!

It seems like I keep putting it "on my to-do list" to post pictures from Bailey's birthday. And, I've yet to do it. And... it is now Jake's birthday! Tomorrow (Friday) is the day that my baby boy turns three. So, I suppose you should expect to see pictures of his birthday by Christmas. :) Teasing... my plan is to create a Flickr account this week so that I can just link you to the pictures that relate to my posts. That seems to make more sense, I think, and will likely make it easier for me to just post them all instead of spending minutes (or hours) going through them to pick the "right" ones. Cilla - I will never understand how you can pick and choose when your photos are SOOOO good. lol.

So... about my big boy.

In similar fashion to my post about Bailey's birthday, I can tell you what I was doing three years ago right now (remember that it's nearly midnight on April 8th as I write this). Most of you probably think that I was sleeping soundly, since I knew that I was being induced the next morning (at like 6 a.m.). However, I was not asleep. I was probably in the bed by now, but I remember being so nervous about having my second child that it was in the wee hours of the morning before I actually rested. I knew what to expect in the ways of labor and the lack of food for an entire day. I also knew that I couldn't wait to meet my little man. I had dreamed of having a little boy for years... before I even met Brad. Then, when I did meet Brad, I wanted to have a little boy even more. I dreamed of having a little boy with long eyelashes around his big round eyes, an adorable smile, and skinny mini legs that were as fast as lightning. I wanted a sweet little boy who adored his mommy, but loved all things boy - dirt, sports, guns, etc. But on this night three years ago, I was worried... anxious. I was used to pink things and girl toys, ribbons and bows, Dora and princesses. I was used to adoring one little girl who had completely stolen my heart and I was terrified that I could never love another child as much as I did her. I knew it was ridiculous, but it scared me to think that I would have this perfect little boy and I would look into his eyes and feel nothing.

Well, as you know from reading my prior posts, that was indeed very ridiculous. My little dream of a son came into this world at 4:25 on April 9 and made everything in our family complete. That's not to say it wasn't rough for the first few hours. Jake didn't make the easiest entrance into the world. He decided, much like he does now, that he was going to do things his way. He wasn't going to be forced and he wasn't going to move to make it easier for anyone. So, he kept his arm where it was most comfortable (and based on the way he slept for many months as an infant, probably in the same position he had kept his arm for several weeks in the womb)... positioned closely around his neck - his hand reaching almost completely over his shoulder to his back. So, naturally, as he was born, he was choking himself. Fortunately, it only caused a few minor "glitches" in delivery, but they wanted to monitor him closely to make sure he was OK. So, my desire to hold my son for more than a couple of seconds just had to wait. It was nearly midnight before I actually held him for more than a moment. Needless to say, I knew I loved him the first time I held him. However, between the hours of say 5 p.m. and 11 p.m. that evening, I was worrying that the bond with my son might not be the same as that with my daughter. I wasn't getting to nurture him the way I had her and I was scared.

Then... my mom, mother-in-law, and hubby, decided that it was due time for me to get my boy in the room and they put their foot down. They had told me hours before that it would only be a few more minutes and I was very frustrated. All was fine with the world when I held him and looked at his little face. Bailey was thrilled to be a big sister and seeing them together melted my heart. As we prepared to go to sleep that night, I placed him in his little bed beside mine and watched him. I knew I loved him as much as I had ever loved Bailey and I knew I had been crazy for being so silly. That night, he began to cry and I simply placed him on my chest and talked to him for a moment. He was content and went back to sleep. I realized that the bond wasn't from getting to hold him first or feed him first, but from nurturing him the whole 9+ months I had carried him.

Much like his sister, Jake's personality came out immediately. He was quieter, more relaxed. He enjoyed eating and sleeping, like most babies, but something about the way he did both of these things was notable (perhaps it was significant that he drank a 4 ounce bottle the first time he was given it or that he slept like 6 hours at night from the very beginning). For some reason, everyone knew that he really enjoyed sleeping and eating... more than most babies. As he grew, we could see that he was going to be the complete opposite of his sister. He excelled at large motor skills - walking at about 10 months, climbing on top of things before he hit the year mark. Speech was and is still developing. By now, Bailey was telling us full stories and even jokes. Jake tells us things, but most of the time, only his immediate family members can translate the stories he tells if they involve much detail. He is shy and acts insecure around new people and situations, whereas Bailey never meets a stranger. He takes a few minutes to warm up to people and he likes to observe before joining in on things and Bailey forces herself on people. Once he "figures" everything out and knows what's going on, he jumps in and has a great time. Unfortunately, I think that comes from me (but I'm hoping Brad is telling the truth when he says he remembers feeling insecure like that too!).

Jake most certainly loves his sister, despite their differences. Every time we go to pick Bailey up at preschool, or to drop her off in the morning, he hugs and kisses her, and tells her he loves her. If we are leaving her, he tells me he misses her when we get in the car. If we are picking her up, he asks about her day and then proceeds to tell her about Spiderman or Batman or whatever his chosen obsession has been for the day. Despite their completely different personalities, they really seem to understand and love each other. They baby each other, too, kissing each other's boo boos, or helping each other when they don't feel well. They push each other on the swings (sometimes), they play tag in the yard, and they really love to cuddle up in our recliner together with a blanket, popcorn, and orange juice to watch a good movie. It's so fascinating to watch them grow and to see that they truly do love each other. Yes, they do fight. Quite a bit, actually, but even then, they love each other. I will be disciplining Jake for hurting Bailey and she will be whispering to him to say he's sorry so that he won't lose his toys. This, coming after she's screamed like he has torn her head off. And it works the other way, too. If I start to get onto Bailey about something, Jake will step up and defend her. He's even gone so far as to try to physically make me leave the room (saying, "Mommy... just go" and pointing to the other room). :) WHAT? Who does that?

Ah... all part of growing up, I guess. A five-year old and a three-year old... I have to say these are awesome years. No bottles, diapers, or bags filled with extra clothes. They incredible fun and active. And, perhaps the best part, they also sleep past 7 on the weekends. FINALLY. :) Happy birthday to my perfect little boy.

Big Birthday Girl

Yesterday was a very important day. Bailey turned five. It is amazing to think that it has already been five years since the first time I saw her beautiful little face, all puckered up and tiny. She was only 6 pounds and 9 ounces and 18.5 inches long. She was born about an hour before the Mountaineers played in the Sweet 16 to go on to the Elite 8. We actually reached our recovery room minutes before the game came on. We laughed that she was going to be awesome because she was already planning her arrival around our basketball schedule. Well, she hasn't changed much... she is always planning. She just isn't planning around us.

There are so many things that went through my mind on that day five years ago. Mainly, it was, "Please bring the epidural faster," but there was also this fear of the unknown. I was terrified that I wouldn't love her enough or that I wouldn't be able to raise a little girl the "right" way. I was really terrified that she would come out a boy and we'd have to return a lot of pink things. :) I had heard horror stories from friends that told me about their relationships with their husbands making a terrible turn for the worst... their husbands never understanding how they felt about the child and never forming that incredible bond. That was probably the scariest thing about it all for me. I wanted this little girl to grow up in a home filled with love and knowing how much her parents loved each other. I wanted to make sure that Bailey wouldn't somehow replace Brad in my life, but be an extension of our love, making us a little more complete. It was all so scary... so surreal. And, then, she entered the world and everything that I had worried about went out the window. Brad was as in love with this little girl as I was. And, it was immediate. Neither of us could find the words to express how we felt... it was overwhelming.

Not much has changed... parenting is overwhelming, especially when it comes to Bailey. She was the baby that moved constantly, even in her sleep her little legs and arms moved, just like a puppy does when he's dreaming about chasing rabbits. When awake, she'd sit in her bouncy chair and I wouldn't bother turning it on most of the time because she kicked so much that the chair would be bouncing away without the need for the small vibrating motor. As she grew, we could see that her energy wasn't only physical, but social, too. We couldn't go to a store without stopping 100 times to say hello to people. Everyone wanted to touch her and squeeze her little hands as she reached out to wave at them. She was demanding from the beginning... commanding anyone in sight to give her attention, carry her wherever she wanted to go, and show her everything she wanted to see. She talked at 9 months, walked at 15. Most kids would probably be opposite, but Bailey was too eager to communicate with everyone to wait any longer to speak and thought it was just plain silly to try and walk when she could just demand someone carry her where she wanted to go. She hasn't changed.

We walk into swimming classes these days, and Bailey talks to everyone she sees. Most of the adults and all of the kids know her name. She's not necessarily popular (although I have to admit that I think most people find her incredibly charming)... she just makes a point to meet everyone so that they know her. She is so sweet when she meets someone. She always compliments adults and children on their hair, their clothes, their nails, whatever she can find that she might like. It is like she was born to be in fundraising, which terrifies me. lol. She is still as demanding as she was when she was a baby. She wants us to plan everything for every day and when we don't have something planned and she makes a choice for us, she expects us to deliver immediately. For instance, she is right now sitting beside me on the couch, asking for popcorn. If I don't get up and get it soon, she will be on top of me, in my face, saying, "Mom... I SAID I wanted popcorn." An optional eye roll or hands on her hips will follow. :)

As if you can't tell, I am awfully proud of her. She is truly a good little girl. She has a wonderful personality, a sweet disposition (most of the time), and really works hard to do the "right" thing. She wants to follow the rules and to be the best at most things. She has issues with paying attention sometimes, but she is only five years old. We can be hard on her sometimes, because we often forget that she is only 5. She is intelligent... sometimes too intelligent for us. She reminds me to lock the door, get the groceries out of the car, buckle my seatbelt, etc. Sometimes she drives me crazy with these "helpful" reminders. Her ability to understand things that we don't think she is even aware of makes us treat her like she's 10 instead of 5. She doesn't mind being treated older though. She loves to tell me about how she knows so much and can do so many things on her own. She is incredibly independent. And she is still planning... her whole life, in fact. I hear about how I am going to come to her house when she marries Austin and I can babysit their kids. She even goes so far as to tell me that she's going to have a cat and she'll put it up in the garage when I come over since I don't particularly like cats. lol. Yes, we have our hands full. But they are full with a little girl who is fun, creative, and a little mature for her age. She's going to be a fun teenager... until she hates me. lol.

So, life goes on. She will start kindergarten in the fall. We have her enrolled at the private Christian school she attends preschool at. We're a little nervous about it all, especially because we hate to pay all that money when we could send her to public school. However, she is incredibly happy there and we just aren't sure that we want to start her out in the school in our district. So, $$$$$ get spent on something that we could get for free. It's a tough call, but I guess you can't put a price tag on happiness and security. My security mostly... Bailey makes friends everywhere. I just love knowing that she's some place where she's already comfy and secure. It's a little sad for me to see her growing up so fast. I remember Colt starting his first day of school and it seems like it was just yesterday. I know it's going to fly by, but I am looking forward to all the fun that comes with it. Nothing is ever easy with Bailey... so it's going to be a great ride!