Yesterday morning, I ran in Susan G. Komen's Race for the Cure.
I had not trained like I needed to, but I was determined to go and to get my best time for a 5K. I basically told Dawn that I was going to run my guts out, even if I had to stop and walk, because I did not want to see a time over 30 on a 5K again. Now, this is not to say that I have any negative thoughts toward anyone, including myself, who has a time over 30. AT ALL. Basically, I decided that I wanted to get under 30 because in several of my runs around Masterson Station or at the YMCA, I have run 3 miles at a 9 minute + pace, which theoretically should get me under the 30 minute mark. YET... in my last 5K in November of last year, I still wasn't able to pull that out. Pretty much the same in the half marathon... still not under 30 at the 3 mile mark. So... I decided I was going to do it or die.
I think it meant more to me to do it at the Susan G. Komen race, too, because I wanted to do it in honor of my mom. She pushed me... she always has... to be a better person, to do things that I normally would not be brave enough to do, to try my best at everything. And, she pushed me yesterday morning.
I hit the ground running harder than I usually do, because I was going to run my guts out. :)
When I passed the 1 mile mark, I heard the time caller say "8:50." That was a good sign... except that I knew I was going to have to slow down because I couldn't keep that pace the whole time. I was already breathing hard.
Mile 2, I missed the time caller. I had no idea how much I had slowed down, so I just kept going. I thought about walking, because I really was getting tired. Ugh. I should have trained more. Tired at 2 miles. That sucks. But, I thought about mom... and all those radiation treatments and I saw a little girl with a blood red face, who looked like she was about 8 and she was running. OK... who cares if I get a personal best? I just need to enjoy this. It's a beautiful fall day and I can finish 3 miles, no matter what.
Some random guy starts running beside of me... and he's breathing like he's dying. I can hear him over my Jason Aldean rocking in my ears. Really? Stop running beside me. I slow down a bit... he slows down. I speed up. He speeds up. Great. He's pacing off of me. Is that something I should be flattered by or annoyed by? Hmm. Ignore him... ignore him... :)
Mile 3... time caller says "28:10." HOLY CRAP! I can sprint the last .10 miles. I so have this. I can see the clock. Get under 29... get under 29... there's the finish line... just a few more steps... OMG. I think I'm going to puke. Gag. Definitely going to puke. Gag again. Please don't puke on the finish line... there is a photographer. Gag... OMG. What a horrible idea to sprint .10 miles. Find a trashcan... sewer grate... that will work... PUKE. Oh... my time was 29:05 on the clock. Now, I just feel stupid. Who pukes after running 3 miles to come in like 33rd place in my age group? Hahaha.
But... I got under 30. I actually officially got under 29. The results posted this morning... and I ran it in 28:57. I came in 33rd place in my age group. I came in 330 place out of 652 overall... 156 of all women. I'm pretty psyched about that. Not psyched about puking. But, I did literally run my guts out. lol.
Note to self: Never eat raisin bread before running. Ever.
Anyway...
There are four very special people that I need to thank for making a donation to the Race for the Cure on my behalf. These four people helped me contribute $200 to Susan G. Komen, helping me make a dent in my list goal to raise $5,000 for breast cancer research. I have no timeframe on this list item, but will keep track of how much I raise over the years! If you would like to make a donation, you can still donate here. However, four generous people were entered in to win a $25 Visa Gift Card for their donation. I used random.org to make the selection yesterday after the race and my Anonymous donor was the winner. Now, I assure you that Anonymous is a real person and that she even tried to get me to give the card to someone else. But, you see, I just didn't think that would be fair. She is always so giving, so thoughtful, and just good people. She also posted a link of my page for several others to see and raised money for cancer research a few months ago. So, she will get the card this week! Thank you, Anonymous! :) You know how much I just love you.
The other three donors that gave all deserve a special thank you, too. Jon, one of mine and Brad's dearest friends (and a soldier fighting for our country to boot), brought me to tears with his donation. I was so surprised and so elated when I woke up the morning after I signed up for the Race to see that he had already made a significant contribution. It's funny how certain friends always remain so special to you... they are always there, even when you go years without seeing each other... they are always there with some of the best memories (Jon... I'm sparing you and Brad some serious embarassment, as I totally found a video on my old computer of the two of you playing guitar and singing at our house on New Years' Eve). I know you remember it. :) Thank you, Jon... for everything you do for our country, but more for always being the same fun-loving guy who makes me smile every time I hear from you.
The other two donors are both such special people to me, because they gave despite the fact that they aren't that close to me, but they are to my family and friends. June and I really met a few years ago when my middle brother was getting married and she supplied SO MANY decorations for their household shower. I mean, this woman has a mini-Hobby Lobby going on. :) She helped us so much then and is constantly giving of her time and attention to my family. I'm not sure we could ever repay her for all the kindness she has shown.
Then, Rita and Joe... well, come to find out, they are family. My grandma used to tell me about her cousin who would send her holiday cards each year. Their last name was Pigg... and my grandma's cousin would sign the card "Josie and the three little Piggs." Joe was one of those "little Piggs." Imagine my surprise when I discovered this information. Here I had been spending time with Dawn and Brandon Pigg... and we were cousins (very distant cousins, but still). Rita and Joe have been at many of the same birthday parties and get togethers that we have shared with Dawn and Brandon over the past couple of years and they are both just wonderfully sweet people.
Thank you, Anonymous, Jon, June, Rita and Joe for being so generous and kind and supporting the cause!
Hope you are all having a fabulous fall weekend!
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Showing posts with label my list. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my list. Show all posts
Camping with two kids...
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Hi ho, hi ho... a camping we will go...
:) Well, we did it. We had a camping trip. Kind of. It counts as the first one, but I'm sure that there will be another more "official" camping trips. You see, I kind of know my kids. I know that they are young for camping, despite their confidence and desire to camp. I know they are young to really appreciate camping... to really enjoy the "wild."
We contemplated what to do. Yatesville Lake State Park has a wonderful campground that I have really been wanting to try out... especially since Brad and I camped there a few times when we were dating in college... before the property was officially a campground. Yes, we were trespassers... who never got busted. :) Anyway... I found that there are boat-in sites to set up camp at Yatesville and I thought it would be perfect for us since we'd be boating. But, there was the catch... we had to rent for three days in order to go. Since, that didn't make much sense, we figured it really would be better to just camp on some of my parents' property.
I thought and thought and thought... and figured that it made a lot of sense to just camp out near the woods behind my parents' house so that we could have quick access to the house if it rained (it was calling for thunderstorms) or if the kids got scared (much more likely the case) or if we needed the bathroom (we did a few times).
And so... we, being me and Emily (Colt's girlfriend), set up the tents and the camping area. We were eaten up by mosquitoes. We covered ourselves in bug spray and long sleeves. We roasted hot dogs. We roasted marshmallows. We hung out and talked and enjoyed the evening around the fire with my parents, Colt and Emily, and the kids.
There were no photos.
There were NO PHOTOS. I know. I suck as a parent who blogs. I should remember these things, right?
I lived in the moment.
And, I had my hands slightly full, since Bailey decided to be completely exhausted and crawl into my lap to fall asleep (she weighs nearly 60 pounds, so this wasn't that easy).
Around 11, we crawled into the tent. Had it not been for the thunder and lightning, I would have left the tent unzipped so that the wind could blow through the screen. But, if it rained, well, we would have ended up soaked. So, we sweltered. Our body heat plus the heat of the evening equaled a night of very uncomfortable, sweaty sleeping. At about 2 a.m., Bailey woke up. She was scared, despite her arguments that she wasn't. I heard her wake up and I watched her as she watched the shadows. I watched as she looked at her dad and scooted as close to him as possible, despite the heat. I watched her sit up and lay back down about five times. Then, she said, "Mom... I have to go to the bathroom." She was trembling. I thought it sounded like it was raining. I had been listening to the wind and it was blowing hard. I told her that it was raining and to go back to sleep, but she wanted to go in. So, I woke up Brad and told him to get Jake and we would go in, since it was raining. Well, lo and behold, we crawled out of the tent and it was just wind. There was no rain. We could have went to the bathroom and come back to the tent and they would have made it. But, we didn't. We took them on in, curled up and went to sleep.
The end. :)
P.S. Bailey says she doesn't care if we go camping again. I'm so glad we didn't pay to go some place. I'm so glad we were close to my mom's. I think we'd be able to get them to go again and they would be fine... especially now that they know what to expect (and we know what to expect from them). :) Repeat... soon? We'll see.
:) Well, we did it. We had a camping trip. Kind of. It counts as the first one, but I'm sure that there will be another more "official" camping trips. You see, I kind of know my kids. I know that they are young for camping, despite their confidence and desire to camp. I know they are young to really appreciate camping... to really enjoy the "wild."
We contemplated what to do. Yatesville Lake State Park has a wonderful campground that I have really been wanting to try out... especially since Brad and I camped there a few times when we were dating in college... before the property was officially a campground. Yes, we were trespassers... who never got busted. :) Anyway... I found that there are boat-in sites to set up camp at Yatesville and I thought it would be perfect for us since we'd be boating. But, there was the catch... we had to rent for three days in order to go. Since, that didn't make much sense, we figured it really would be better to just camp on some of my parents' property.
I thought and thought and thought... and figured that it made a lot of sense to just camp out near the woods behind my parents' house so that we could have quick access to the house if it rained (it was calling for thunderstorms) or if the kids got scared (much more likely the case) or if we needed the bathroom (we did a few times).
And so... we, being me and Emily (Colt's girlfriend), set up the tents and the camping area. We were eaten up by mosquitoes. We covered ourselves in bug spray and long sleeves. We roasted hot dogs. We roasted marshmallows. We hung out and talked and enjoyed the evening around the fire with my parents, Colt and Emily, and the kids.
There were no photos.
There were NO PHOTOS. I know. I suck as a parent who blogs. I should remember these things, right?
I lived in the moment.
And, I had my hands slightly full, since Bailey decided to be completely exhausted and crawl into my lap to fall asleep (she weighs nearly 60 pounds, so this wasn't that easy).
Around 11, we crawled into the tent. Had it not been for the thunder and lightning, I would have left the tent unzipped so that the wind could blow through the screen. But, if it rained, well, we would have ended up soaked. So, we sweltered. Our body heat plus the heat of the evening equaled a night of very uncomfortable, sweaty sleeping. At about 2 a.m., Bailey woke up. She was scared, despite her arguments that she wasn't. I heard her wake up and I watched her as she watched the shadows. I watched as she looked at her dad and scooted as close to him as possible, despite the heat. I watched her sit up and lay back down about five times. Then, she said, "Mom... I have to go to the bathroom." She was trembling. I thought it sounded like it was raining. I had been listening to the wind and it was blowing hard. I told her that it was raining and to go back to sleep, but she wanted to go in. So, I woke up Brad and told him to get Jake and we would go in, since it was raining. Well, lo and behold, we crawled out of the tent and it was just wind. There was no rain. We could have went to the bathroom and come back to the tent and they would have made it. But, we didn't. We took them on in, curled up and went to sleep.
The end. :)
P.S. Bailey says she doesn't care if we go camping again. I'm so glad we didn't pay to go some place. I'm so glad we were close to my mom's. I think we'd be able to get them to go again and they would be fine... especially now that they know what to expect (and we know what to expect from them). :) Repeat... soon? We'll see.
Fireflies and firepits
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Today, I witnessed the beauty of a baby's face while he was still in the womb. Baby Steffen is going to be one of the most gorgeous babies ever. And, I am NOT biased. ;)
Today, I thought about the birth of my own two babies when thinking about Rebecca's pending labor and delivery (and praying for a July 2nd birth). And I looked at my kids and realized how fast it has gone by.
Today, a blog post by Dawn, talking about breaking all the rules, reminded me that, despite the growth of my babies, we can all still enjoy acting like children.
So, today, I got inspired to mark off a list item... catching fireflies with my kiddos.
We lit a fire in the fire pit (which I can tell you was harder than I expected it to be... I'm not as country as I always thought I was. haha).
We roasted a couple of marshmallows.
And, we waited until it was almost dark. Then, they appeared.
Everywhere.
If I could have taken a good photo of them, I would have. But, instead, I helped the kids, running through the yard like a kid... mason jar in hand.
We caught ten fireflies before we stopped. And we watched them light up our jar for a few minutes. Then, we took off the lid and we counted them all as they flew out.
Then, we sat around the fire for about 2 seconds. Or maybe it was a half second. :) And the kids were ready to move on. I, on the other hand, could have sat there all night with them beside me, watching the fire. Yet, that day will come... the day where we will all sit around the fire for hours, just happy to be there. I hope. :) I'm close to getting there with Bailey. She sat there with me briefly... just talking and making silly faces.
Until then, I will act like a kid and embrace their childhood just a bit more. :)
Two More List Items Complete
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I was so happy to see that we were on the 14th floor when we got to the hotel. It was a good sign, seeing that Brad's football number was always 14. Yes, some superstitions reign in life... and the number 14 is one of those. For some reason, every time I see a 14 when I'm nervous about something, I take it as a good omen or good luck sign. :) For instance, when we went to the emergency room about my eye a few weeks ago, we were both slightly relieved when they put us curtain area numbered 14.
I can't begin to explain the emotions that went through me that day. I felt everything during the run - anxiety, nervousness, frustration with the course, happiness about my pace, etc. Not one of those emotions compares to the feeling that I got when Brad told me my time. No. I wasn't even remotely close to being fast. Hell, I have probably run faster more regularly. But, I was so excited to be close to where I wanted. I couldn't believe I had finished... but to have finished near my goal... well, that was just icing on the cake. And, emotions run high at these things. I cried watching complete strangers cross the full marathon finish line. A few people would be injured and hobbling over the line... I'd cry. Two girls were running together, holding hands and crying... I cried, too. I was so happy that Dawn was just as bad as me... we both are big crying babies. lol.
And, 14 comes through for me again. It was a happy sign for me as I marked two more things off my list - a girls weekend away and running a half marathon.
As I mentioned last week, Dawn, Maria, and I made our way to Nashville for a girls' weekend and to run in the Country Music Half (and Full, in Maria's case) Marathon.
Nashville is a great city. We didn't waste any time when we got to town... we had to check in at the marathon expo to get our stuff ready for Saturday and then we headed straight down the street and found dinner, drinks, and music. Little did we know that Thursday night would be our "night out" instead of Saturday. :) I am so glad that we were able to get out on the town that night. We had dinner at Cowboy Saloon and drinks at B.B. King's. It was a great night of laughing, getting to know each other better (especially in my and Maria's case), and just relaxing.
I spent all of Friday and most of the post-race time focused on three things... food, more food, and rest. I think I ate as much as most men do while we were gone... and I swear, I didn't actually feel completely full until Sunday night when I got home. :) On Friday, we ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner in a time span of about 7 and a half hours. :) We were getting fueled up and ready. :) And, we wandered around Broadway, checking everything out.
And, even bars can remind me of my favorite kiddos... :)
Saturday came early. We were up and at it at 4:30 a.m. (5:30 Eastern time). Nervous. I was so nervous. I thought about throwing up a few times. I kept moaning and groaning. I'm quite sure that Maria and Dawn were ready to knock me out to just get me to shut up. :) I think they were a little nervous, too, though. ;)
Apparently, at 4:30 a.m., one of my eyes is smaller than another. lol
Apparently, at 4:30 a.m., one of my eyes is smaller than another. lol
We walked to the finish line (it was close) and caught the shuttle to the start line. I thought I'd have a nervous breakdown when they had us unload from the bus we were on to get on another bus because ours was having some technical difficulties. Great omen. haha.
By the time we waited in the line at the bathroom (porta potties) and made our way to our spot at the start line, the race started. Ugh. I was so nervous. I was so excited, but so so nervous.
And, then it was time.
I started running... feeling good... I knew the first couple of miles were downhill and flat. Dawn and I ran together, which was great. We were giving each other pep talks most of the way. I told her when we hit the 2 mile mark that the next mile was uphill and that it should flatten out after that.
Well...
... that was just not true. The race, from mile 2 until about mile 9, was mostly ALL UP HILL. Sometimes we would get a slight decline, but most of the race was at an incline. I really thought I was going to die. I didn't want to sound like a complete wimp, but by mile 8, I thought the hills were going to kill me. So, I mentioned it to Dawn, and she agreed. She (having run the Chicago and Boston Marathons) said that the course was one of the hardest she's ever run... that made me feel so much better. :) So, we walked a bit off and on... because truly, I didn't think I'd make it. We kept a good pace, though, even with walking. My foot didn't bother me... really, at all. :) YAY!
I had hoped at the beginning of my training to run the half in 2 hours and 20 minutes. I actually was really wanting to get 2 hours and 10 minutes, but I figured 2:20 was more reasonable. So, I was pretty pumped when Dawn and I were on pace to get 2:20. We kept running together (I totally could not have made it without her) until mile 11. We got separated there. The last couple of miles were tough, but I was so relieved to know that we were so close to the finish. When one of Jake's favorite songs came playing on my iPod, I just started smiling and ran as hard as I could. I was reminded that I was running for my little "heroes." And, it felt amazing to cross that line. I was thirsty (I had salt all over my face) and I was hungry. I was hoping for oranges (they had the BEST ones I think I have ever had when I was running on the course). :) But, I settled for a handful of other items, like bananas, apples, granola bars, etc.
I had no idea what my time was. The race had a set up where you could receive text messages with your times... so, when I called Brad, he told me what my finishing time was. I started crying when he said, "2:20:53." I couldn't believe that I was that close to my goal, after all the setbacks. Dawn and I met up and commiserated, celebrated, and headed to the hotel to shower. We wanted to get back quickly to see Maria cross the finish line.
I can't begin to explain the emotions that went through me that day. I felt everything during the run - anxiety, nervousness, frustration with the course, happiness about my pace, etc. Not one of those emotions compares to the feeling that I got when Brad told me my time. No. I wasn't even remotely close to being fast. Hell, I have probably run faster more regularly. But, I was so excited to be close to where I wanted. I couldn't believe I had finished... but to have finished near my goal... well, that was just icing on the cake. And, emotions run high at these things. I cried watching complete strangers cross the full marathon finish line. A few people would be injured and hobbling over the line... I'd cry. Two girls were running together, holding hands and crying... I cried, too. I was so happy that Dawn was just as bad as me... we both are big crying babies. lol.
And, when Maria came running down that last stretch, Dawn and I were going crazy! We yelled at the emcee and asked him to cheer her on down the last stretch, we took photos, and we yelled for her like nuts. And, then, of course, I choked back tears and I think Dawn just went ahead and cried. haha.
It was great. We had done it. We were all hesitant to say we would again... but I knew that wouldn't last. Dawn and Maria are already planning... planning... planning. :) I'm holding out on any commitments, but I know that another one will definitely be in my future. The full thing? I don't know... but I would say its a very likely probability. :)
All in all, it was a great trip... a great race... and a great weekend. We were in bed on Saturday night, after a HUGE dinner and a few beers, at 9:30 p.m. Yes. Our girls' weekend... the only one I've had in 7 years... and I was happy, no THRILLED, to be going to bed. We were all so exhausted. But it was a great exhaustion.
And, to end the weekend on a wonderful note, I came home to two awesome babies and an incredible husband, all claiming to be proud of me. They had a great weekend, too. They spent a ton of time with my mother-in-law, Kathy, who was so great and helped me SO much by picking up the kids from school and making sure they made it on Friday. They all had a great time (even though I'm sure Kathy probably felt like she ran a few marathons by the end of the weekend). :) Brad also took the kids to visit my parents and to my cousin's little boy's first birthday party. I hated to miss it, but I was so pleased that the kids got to go. They had a great time, as you can see.
The pressure of the race is off, which feels great. But, I am already itching to figure out the next step. More to come on that when I figure it out. :)
Thank you guys again for traveling with me on this journey... I would never have finished this half without all of you. Love you for reading... but love you more for supporting me! :)
All in all, it was a great trip... a great race... and a great weekend. We were in bed on Saturday night, after a HUGE dinner and a few beers, at 9:30 p.m. Yes. Our girls' weekend... the only one I've had in 7 years... and I was happy, no THRILLED, to be going to bed. We were all so exhausted. But it was a great exhaustion.
And, to end the weekend on a wonderful note, I came home to two awesome babies and an incredible husband, all claiming to be proud of me. They had a great weekend, too. They spent a ton of time with my mother-in-law, Kathy, who was so great and helped me SO much by picking up the kids from school and making sure they made it on Friday. They all had a great time (even though I'm sure Kathy probably felt like she ran a few marathons by the end of the weekend). :) Brad also took the kids to visit my parents and to my cousin's little boy's first birthday party. I hated to miss it, but I was so pleased that the kids got to go. They had a great time, as you can see.
The pressure of the race is off, which feels great. But, I am already itching to figure out the next step. More to come on that when I figure it out. :)
Thank you guys again for traveling with me on this journey... I would never have finished this half without all of you. Love you for reading... but love you more for supporting me! :)
Why Run? My Story...
Friday, April 29, 2011
Sorry for the duplication if you read both this blog and Our Cups Runneth Over, but I had to post this on both blogs. All of you that have been here, reading and supporting me over the past year... I love you. Thank you for always being there. :)
It is incredible how much life can change in just one little year.
Last year, at this time, I couldn’t run up the block without being winded. Now, I’m preparing for my first half marathon (13.1 miles) in Nashville, Tennessee TOMORROW.
My favorite question that people ask me is “why?” You know, why run? Why run that far? Why run at all? Why run?
It’s not an easy question to answer. It takes a lot of explaining to do. And, typically, I don’t bother going through it all with people, because it would take a LONG time. Most of the time, when people ask me why I run, I answer with something like, “I dunno… I just started doing it and loved it… and kept running,” or “I love it because it’s my time away from everything else,” or “I run because I can… and one day I probably won’t be able to.”
All of those short little quips of answers come from a bigger story… they are small indicators of the real reason that I run… that I LOVE to run so much. Yes, that’s the red flag you should be seeing… this could be a long post. :) Get cozy.
How it Started
It was almost a year ago today that I sat and stared into my computer. This very same computer, actually, and contemplated what I considered a life-changing, risky post. It was something I had been toying with for months… an idea to really define my life… to find a path that would lead me to fulfilling all that I wanted and was always “too busy” to do.
I was not yet brave enough to announce my life list. It wasn’t that I was worried about someone thinking my list items were crazy. I knew some of them were, but that most of them were things that I think many people would love to do. It was merely a commitment issue on my part… a fear that I would announce this list of goals and then accomplish none of them.
I had talked about different ideas with Brad… different thoughts about how to incorporate these plans into my blog. Everything seemed so daunting and so risky. I felt like I would HAVE to do the things on my list if I posted them, as if someone out there was holding me accountable. And, while I was terrified of that accountability, I loved the way it made me feel like I would actually accomplish those items. Yet, I still couldn’t commit.
And, then, one day, I picked one thing on the list. I woke up and looked at Brad and told him I was going to train for a triathlon.
Yes, he laughed out loud, too. I had never run so much as a mile in my adult life. I had never swum more than the full length of an Olympic-sized pool (and don’t ask Cilla about our lifeguarding class that we dropped out of nearly immediately in college). I didn’t even own a bike.
And, I was going to train for a triathlon. My poor husband… he tried to be patient and understanding, but I’m pretty sure that he was at a loss for words when I made this declaration. Brad, trying to be the supportive husband and not completely discourage me, suggested that I train for a 5K first. Then, progress on if I enjoyed running.
So, I announced it on my blog. I was going to train for a 5K. A non-runner, strictly speaking, was going to start something new. I downloaded the Couch to 5K program and started working.
Immediately, I fell in love. I loved it all… the burning feeling in my legs and chest, the quietness and aloneness that I rarely had elsewhere, the sound of decade-old music coming from Brad’s outdated mp3 player, and the feeling that I truly was going to accomplish something new. I loved it. I became obsessed with it.
And blogging about it made me feel even better. Every time I started to skip a day, I remembered that I needed to do it because someone might be reading my blog and would be disappointed if I couldn’t finish the 5K. It truly did hold me accountable. Blogging about it made me want to do it more. (Thank you people... I love you again!)
How it Changed Me
I can’t even begin to describe the feeling I had the day I crossed the finish line on my first 5K. It was at Buffalo Trace in Frankfort and Rebecca and I ran it together. It was great. It gave me a high that no drug could ever provide… it made me feel full and alive… and happy. It was my drug - adrenaline… accomplishment… strength… whatever you want to name it, running had given me this new desire and love for life. As soon as I finished the race, I was plotting my next move… thinking about how I wanted to get faster and go farther. Yes. Running became a part of me… it became a passion.
And it really kick started my list. The high I got from accomplishing that one list item pushed me into full speed overdrive to work on the list. I became more confident about my list. I felt like blogging about it was THE way to make me do the items on my list… THE way to make me live the life I wanted to live. So, I did it.
I announced my life list… and I started working on things on the list… marking off some small things, marking off some bigger things, just focusing on finding ways to stop procrastinating all that I had wanted to do with my life… and just DO IT.
How I Struggled
Running wasn’t easy for me. As Dawn alluded to in her post about starting out running,
there are times when you shouldn’t push yourself too far, too fast, or you will get injured. I have weak ankles. Anyone who knows me from my childhood is probably laughing reading that, as I’m sure they remember me being on homebound from school for over a month in the sixth grade. Not only did a tear a ligament in my left ankle while in gymnastics, as it was healing, I thought it would be a great idea to jump on a trampoline with my cousins, and chipped a bone in my right ankle… all resulting in me having two weak ankles that have been sprained way too many times to count over the years. :) Combine that with my inability to be patient or stick to a training plan, and well, you get injured Andrea…. On repeat. I struggled with ankle problems throughout the summer.
Once I was ready to really run again, I started having stomach problems, which resulted in a gallbladder surgery. I was frustrated. I felt like every time I would get into a rhythm, I’d hit a roadblock. But sometimes, you can find the silver lining if you look for it. While doing some bloodwork for my gallbladder, the doctors discovered that I am positive forSjogren’s Syndrome, an autoimmune disease that is similar to Lupus, but not typically as debilitating. I am barely positive. The doctors say I could have it without symptoms, it could be a false positive, or I could start having symptoms at any point. When I learned this, I was afraid. Naturally, no one wants to hear that they could have a disease, no matter how life-altering it might or might not be. I started reading (of course, on Google) and learned a lot about it. I’m still learning about it. Many people don’t have symptoms until they are much older… and some of the worst of the symptoms include increased fatigue and exhaustion.
Fear can drive a lot of things… and it probably plays way too large of a role in my life, but in this one instance, I think it’s a good thing. It gave me a shock. It was as if someone said, “Hey… one day, if you really do have this disease, you might not be able to run. You might not be able to enjoy a lot of the things you love in life.” And, you know, it doesn’t matter if it is Sjogren’s or breast cancer (yes, I’m high risk there too) or if it is no disease at all, there WILL come a time in life when I might not be able to do the things I love. And that includes running. Where is that silver lining I was talking about? It is in the realization that I’m blessed to be able to do the things I love… to have a family who supports that… to have a life that is full… full of love, happiness, family, friends… to have my cup running over.
The Half
With that all on my mind and in my heart, I just about jumped out of my chair in excitement when Dawn, my friend who I met only because of running and blogging and through my best friend, Cilla, e-mailed me and asked if I would want to do the Country Music (Half) Marathon in Nashville in April. Heck yes. A girls’ weekend… a great run to train for… NASHVILLE – a town I have wanted to visit my entire life (have I mentioned that I lived on the Country Music Highway in Kentucky growing up… and I LOVE country music?). :) Absolute and unequivocal yes, I will train for the half marathon in Nashville.
Digging up a training plan online, planning out our trip, figuring out my schedule and how to incorporate it into Brad’s and the kids’ busy schedules… all of this had to be done. And, it was. I had it all planned out… and the plan was going great. Then, in March, I started having foot problems. A little more than a month from the race… I was running 10 miles on my long run… almost completely ready for Nashville… and I have a metatarsal stress fracture in my left foot.
Humph. The doctor tells me I must take time off… and to basically consider myself out of training mode. He said I might be able to run some of it, but not likely that I’ll be able to run the entire half in Nashville, if any of it at all. He tells me to prepare for the possibility of being out.
Depression. Anger. Frustration. Anger.
Three solid months of training… hard training… missing time with my kids kind of training. Gone.
Then, on April 11, I went back to the doctor. I had coped with the idea of being disappointed. He tells me I can ease back into running, but to not consider myself ready for the half… to make sure that I walk as much as I run. Of course, he knows I’m probably not going to adhere to that, so he gives me instructions on how to train so that I can actually finish the half (as well as possible, anyway). I had virtually given up on the hope that I might be able to run some of it. I had even contemplated not walking or running any of it at all, but just going down to the race and being a spectator for Dawn and Maria. And, there I sat, hearing the doctor give me news that I *might* be able to do some of this. I listened (kind of :) ) and now I’m ready. Well, I hope I’m ready. I’m as ready as I’m going to be. I want to finish this without walking so bad. I mean, to do this would make me feel so gratified in all of that work. BUT… I’m not going to be disappointed about whatever my finishing time is or if I have to walk for portions of it. I’m just going to enjoy it, have fun, and realize that I’m blessed to be there and able to run as much as I can.
Why Run…
… because it makes me feel alive, strong, confident, and happy…
… because one day my kids will think it’s pretty awesome that their mom could run 13.1
miles (or in the translation I give to them these days – from Mamaw Kathy’s to Granny Dale’s house – a completely rough estimate)…
… because I have worked so hard to get here and I don’t want to turn back…
… and, because I can.
Tomorrow – Saturday, April 30 – at 7 a.m. Central Time (8 a.m. Eastern Time), send some positive vibes our way. :) Dawn, Maria, and I will all be running, alongside 30,000 of our closest friends (hehe) in Nashville, Tennessee. And, while you are at it, hope for some good cool, DRY, weather for us, too!
And, while I’m at it, thanks to Dawn and Maria for pulling me through all of the struggles of training for this half. There’s no way I’d be nearly this excited or positive or ready without you girls! Oh… and thanks to Brad for putting up with me, too. I know he’s had to listen to a lot of whining when he didn’t really want to. :) Well, that really goes for Cilla, my parents, my brother, basically anyone who has talked to me over the past month and a half. Lol. I promise to stop whining so much in May. Hehe.
We will post our results on Facebook and give you a little wrap up of our time away next week! Fingers crossed!
It is incredible how much life can change in just one little year.
Last year, at this time, I couldn’t run up the block without being winded. Now, I’m preparing for my first half marathon (13.1 miles) in Nashville, Tennessee TOMORROW.
My favorite question that people ask me is “why?” You know, why run? Why run that far? Why run at all? Why run?
It’s not an easy question to answer. It takes a lot of explaining to do. And, typically, I don’t bother going through it all with people, because it would take a LONG time. Most of the time, when people ask me why I run, I answer with something like, “I dunno… I just started doing it and loved it… and kept running,” or “I love it because it’s my time away from everything else,” or “I run because I can… and one day I probably won’t be able to.”
All of those short little quips of answers come from a bigger story… they are small indicators of the real reason that I run… that I LOVE to run so much. Yes, that’s the red flag you should be seeing… this could be a long post. :) Get cozy.
How it Started
It was almost a year ago today that I sat and stared into my computer. This very same computer, actually, and contemplated what I considered a life-changing, risky post. It was something I had been toying with for months… an idea to really define my life… to find a path that would lead me to fulfilling all that I wanted and was always “too busy” to do.
I was not yet brave enough to announce my life list. It wasn’t that I was worried about someone thinking my list items were crazy. I knew some of them were, but that most of them were things that I think many people would love to do. It was merely a commitment issue on my part… a fear that I would announce this list of goals and then accomplish none of them.
I had talked about different ideas with Brad… different thoughts about how to incorporate these plans into my blog. Everything seemed so daunting and so risky. I felt like I would HAVE to do the things on my list if I posted them, as if someone out there was holding me accountable. And, while I was terrified of that accountability, I loved the way it made me feel like I would actually accomplish those items. Yet, I still couldn’t commit.
And, then, one day, I picked one thing on the list. I woke up and looked at Brad and told him I was going to train for a triathlon.
Yes, he laughed out loud, too. I had never run so much as a mile in my adult life. I had never swum more than the full length of an Olympic-sized pool (and don’t ask Cilla about our lifeguarding class that we dropped out of nearly immediately in college). I didn’t even own a bike.
And, I was going to train for a triathlon. My poor husband… he tried to be patient and understanding, but I’m pretty sure that he was at a loss for words when I made this declaration. Brad, trying to be the supportive husband and not completely discourage me, suggested that I train for a 5K first. Then, progress on if I enjoyed running.
So, I announced it on my blog. I was going to train for a 5K. A non-runner, strictly speaking, was going to start something new. I downloaded the Couch to 5K program and started working.
Immediately, I fell in love. I loved it all… the burning feeling in my legs and chest, the quietness and aloneness that I rarely had elsewhere, the sound of decade-old music coming from Brad’s outdated mp3 player, and the feeling that I truly was going to accomplish something new. I loved it. I became obsessed with it.
And blogging about it made me feel even better. Every time I started to skip a day, I remembered that I needed to do it because someone might be reading my blog and would be disappointed if I couldn’t finish the 5K. It truly did hold me accountable. Blogging about it made me want to do it more. (Thank you people... I love you again!)
How it Changed Me
I can’t even begin to describe the feeling I had the day I crossed the finish line on my first 5K. It was at Buffalo Trace in Frankfort and Rebecca and I ran it together. It was great. It gave me a high that no drug could ever provide… it made me feel full and alive… and happy. It was my drug - adrenaline… accomplishment… strength… whatever you want to name it, running had given me this new desire and love for life. As soon as I finished the race, I was plotting my next move… thinking about how I wanted to get faster and go farther. Yes. Running became a part of me… it became a passion.
And it really kick started my list. The high I got from accomplishing that one list item pushed me into full speed overdrive to work on the list. I became more confident about my list. I felt like blogging about it was THE way to make me do the items on my list… THE way to make me live the life I wanted to live. So, I did it.
I announced my life list… and I started working on things on the list… marking off some small things, marking off some bigger things, just focusing on finding ways to stop procrastinating all that I had wanted to do with my life… and just DO IT.
How I Struggled
Running wasn’t easy for me. As Dawn alluded to in her post about starting out running,
there are times when you shouldn’t push yourself too far, too fast, or you will get injured. I have weak ankles. Anyone who knows me from my childhood is probably laughing reading that, as I’m sure they remember me being on homebound from school for over a month in the sixth grade. Not only did a tear a ligament in my left ankle while in gymnastics, as it was healing, I thought it would be a great idea to jump on a trampoline with my cousins, and chipped a bone in my right ankle… all resulting in me having two weak ankles that have been sprained way too many times to count over the years. :) Combine that with my inability to be patient or stick to a training plan, and well, you get injured Andrea…. On repeat. I struggled with ankle problems throughout the summer.
Once I was ready to really run again, I started having stomach problems, which resulted in a gallbladder surgery. I was frustrated. I felt like every time I would get into a rhythm, I’d hit a roadblock. But sometimes, you can find the silver lining if you look for it. While doing some bloodwork for my gallbladder, the doctors discovered that I am positive forSjogren’s Syndrome, an autoimmune disease that is similar to Lupus, but not typically as debilitating. I am barely positive. The doctors say I could have it without symptoms, it could be a false positive, or I could start having symptoms at any point. When I learned this, I was afraid. Naturally, no one wants to hear that they could have a disease, no matter how life-altering it might or might not be. I started reading (of course, on Google) and learned a lot about it. I’m still learning about it. Many people don’t have symptoms until they are much older… and some of the worst of the symptoms include increased fatigue and exhaustion.
Fear can drive a lot of things… and it probably plays way too large of a role in my life, but in this one instance, I think it’s a good thing. It gave me a shock. It was as if someone said, “Hey… one day, if you really do have this disease, you might not be able to run. You might not be able to enjoy a lot of the things you love in life.” And, you know, it doesn’t matter if it is Sjogren’s or breast cancer (yes, I’m high risk there too) or if it is no disease at all, there WILL come a time in life when I might not be able to do the things I love. And that includes running. Where is that silver lining I was talking about? It is in the realization that I’m blessed to be able to do the things I love… to have a family who supports that… to have a life that is full… full of love, happiness, family, friends… to have my cup running over.
The Half
With that all on my mind and in my heart, I just about jumped out of my chair in excitement when Dawn, my friend who I met only because of running and blogging and through my best friend, Cilla, e-mailed me and asked if I would want to do the Country Music (Half) Marathon in Nashville in April. Heck yes. A girls’ weekend… a great run to train for… NASHVILLE – a town I have wanted to visit my entire life (have I mentioned that I lived on the Country Music Highway in Kentucky growing up… and I LOVE country music?). :) Absolute and unequivocal yes, I will train for the half marathon in Nashville.
Digging up a training plan online, planning out our trip, figuring out my schedule and how to incorporate it into Brad’s and the kids’ busy schedules… all of this had to be done. And, it was. I had it all planned out… and the plan was going great. Then, in March, I started having foot problems. A little more than a month from the race… I was running 10 miles on my long run… almost completely ready for Nashville… and I have a metatarsal stress fracture in my left foot.
Humph. The doctor tells me I must take time off… and to basically consider myself out of training mode. He said I might be able to run some of it, but not likely that I’ll be able to run the entire half in Nashville, if any of it at all. He tells me to prepare for the possibility of being out.
Depression. Anger. Frustration. Anger.
Three solid months of training… hard training… missing time with my kids kind of training. Gone.
Then, on April 11, I went back to the doctor. I had coped with the idea of being disappointed. He tells me I can ease back into running, but to not consider myself ready for the half… to make sure that I walk as much as I run. Of course, he knows I’m probably not going to adhere to that, so he gives me instructions on how to train so that I can actually finish the half (as well as possible, anyway). I had virtually given up on the hope that I might be able to run some of it. I had even contemplated not walking or running any of it at all, but just going down to the race and being a spectator for Dawn and Maria. And, there I sat, hearing the doctor give me news that I *might* be able to do some of this. I listened (kind of :) ) and now I’m ready. Well, I hope I’m ready. I’m as ready as I’m going to be. I want to finish this without walking so bad. I mean, to do this would make me feel so gratified in all of that work. BUT… I’m not going to be disappointed about whatever my finishing time is or if I have to walk for portions of it. I’m just going to enjoy it, have fun, and realize that I’m blessed to be there and able to run as much as I can.
Why Run…
… because it makes me feel alive, strong, confident, and happy…
… because one day my kids will think it’s pretty awesome that their mom could run 13.1
miles (or in the translation I give to them these days – from Mamaw Kathy’s to Granny Dale’s house – a completely rough estimate)…
… because I have worked so hard to get here and I don’t want to turn back…
… and, because I can.
Tomorrow – Saturday, April 30 – at 7 a.m. Central Time (8 a.m. Eastern Time), send some positive vibes our way. :) Dawn, Maria, and I will all be running, alongside 30,000 of our closest friends (hehe) in Nashville, Tennessee. And, while you are at it, hope for some good cool, DRY, weather for us, too!
And, while I’m at it, thanks to Dawn and Maria for pulling me through all of the struggles of training for this half. There’s no way I’d be nearly this excited or positive or ready without you girls! Oh… and thanks to Brad for putting up with me, too. I know he’s had to listen to a lot of whining when he didn’t really want to. :) Well, that really goes for Cilla, my parents, my brother, basically anyone who has talked to me over the past month and a half. Lol. I promise to stop whining so much in May. Hehe.
We will post our results on Facebook and give you a little wrap up of our time away next week! Fingers crossed!
Busy, Proud, and Growing Kids...
Monday, April 18, 2011
Well, I have avoided blogging, because I promised to post Jake's birthday post from Our Cups Runneth Over on here... and well, to be honest, I just have avoided it because it will take away my precious time.
So, I'm going to be bad... and ask that if you really want to read it, you check it out here. :) Sorry for the inconvenience. Maybe I'll re-post it later this week... but I don't want to promise to.
Instead of blogging, I have basically avoided the computer altogether. As in, today, I checked my e-mail and saw that I had over 200 e-mails that were unread. :) Yes... Junk email rocks.
That just goes to show you that I haven't spent much time on the computer, though. Instead, we have had a very full and wonderful weekend (plus today).
Saturday started out as a rainy mess. I was just wishing we didn't have to get out of bed. But, Brad was already up and at 'em at 7 a.m., heading to the t-ball field to help prepare it for a day's worth of games. Our game wasn't scheduled until 11:30. He spent the entire morning, along with some other coaches, at the field. We played at around 12:30... in the mud and cold and a few drizzles of rain. So, I didn't take pictures. :( Sorry. Next time...
However, I have to brag. Jake played so well (I mean, as well as he does at this age). He didn't argue with Brad in the outfield. He didn't try to leave the outfield. No, he wasn't entirely happy about playing, especially as cool as it was and as wet as it was, but he stuck it out. AND, to make things even better, he had a good hit and scored a run. We hadn't even expected him to get to second base this season (mainly because he doesn't always listen to the coach when he's running from one base to another). :) So, yay for Jake!
And, Bailey... she played very well, too. She got two hits, scored two runs, and got to play second base for an inning. She did a good job when she was paying attention and seemed pretty happy that she got to play in the infield. :)
After the game, we took our freezing toes and hands home and ate some lunch... took some hot showers... and got ready for a party. One of our best friends, Bret (aka the villain at Jake's party) was celebrating his birthday with a crab boil and tons of delicious food and wonderful company. We spent the entire evening having fun with our friends, laughing, straining to hear each other over all of the fun, and watching as Bailey and Jake quickly captured the attention of the other kids at the party, in hopes of bringing them all out of their "shells." Again, I was proud of them. We only had to get onto them a couple of times for yelling or running through the house (it's a habit at Bret and Cilla's). And, they quickly made their way into the hearts of some (kind of) new friends by showing their sweet little personalities. We didn't make it home until after midnight, with two sleeping kiddos...
... which meant a morning of sleeping in! :) Well, sort of... we slept until 9 or so... which is definitely sleeping in for us. :)
Brad got up and got us breakfast. Then, Bailey and I had girl time while Daddy and Jake went to Home Depot. Bailey and I got our hair cut and then we went to King's Gardens to buy vegetable plants for our garden. It was a beautiful day... and we wanted to spend it all outside. And, we did. Our garden is nearly all planted. A new garden having been cleaned out for this year (translation: me digging out weeds and grass with a rake and shovel... oh my aching back). :) I'm hoping for tomatoes... strawberries... peppers... cucumbers... watermelon... cantaloupe... and a nice big patch of spices.
Before the end of the day yesterday, I made time to go on a run. I made it 5 miles. YAY! Or BOO! I don't know at this point. I should be running twice that (at least) for the training for a half marathon. However, I'm pretty pumped to be running... so I'll just leave it at that. And, for the record, I have walked some during my runs... so I won't be over-doing it (as tempting as it might be).
Do you think I was exhausted after that weekend? :)
Time stops for no man or woman.
Jake and Bailey had their check-ups at the doctor's office. Other than the 4 shots Jake received and the 1 shot that Bailey received (ugh), the visits were great. Bailey is in the 90th percentile for height and weight (48.5 inches and 54 pounds). She's perfectly healthy, happy, and ahead of the game. Jake is in the 50th percentile for height and weight (40.5 inches and 32 pounds). With the exception of needing more iron (no surprise there), he is perfectly healthy, too. The doctor commented that he was speaking more clearly and said he looks great. I had mentioned his stubbornness... she had laughed. Then, she got to see him in all his glory when he would not stop crying about the shots. He actually wouldn't say much of anything to the doctor prior to the shots, other than, "I don't want a shot." Repeatedly. :) Bailey, on the other hand, was trying to tell Jake it wouldn't be any big deal and that it wouldn't hurt (after scaring him to death all morning by making fun of him for having to have them). And, then she was surprised to learn that she, too, would get a shot. Funny how she changed her tune so quickly after she knew that. Haha. I'm sure the doctor thought I was terrible when I teased her and told her that she deserved it for giving Jake such a hard time about it all day. :)
And now you know why there are no pictures on today's post... :) We have been so busy living life, I haven't taken time to capture it. I probably should have taken the time... made the time... but oh well... :) Such is life.
So, I'm going to be bad... and ask that if you really want to read it, you check it out here. :) Sorry for the inconvenience. Maybe I'll re-post it later this week... but I don't want to promise to.
Instead of blogging, I have basically avoided the computer altogether. As in, today, I checked my e-mail and saw that I had over 200 e-mails that were unread. :) Yes... Junk email rocks.
That just goes to show you that I haven't spent much time on the computer, though. Instead, we have had a very full and wonderful weekend (plus today).
Saturday started out as a rainy mess. I was just wishing we didn't have to get out of bed. But, Brad was already up and at 'em at 7 a.m., heading to the t-ball field to help prepare it for a day's worth of games. Our game wasn't scheduled until 11:30. He spent the entire morning, along with some other coaches, at the field. We played at around 12:30... in the mud and cold and a few drizzles of rain. So, I didn't take pictures. :( Sorry. Next time...
However, I have to brag. Jake played so well (I mean, as well as he does at this age). He didn't argue with Brad in the outfield. He didn't try to leave the outfield. No, he wasn't entirely happy about playing, especially as cool as it was and as wet as it was, but he stuck it out. AND, to make things even better, he had a good hit and scored a run. We hadn't even expected him to get to second base this season (mainly because he doesn't always listen to the coach when he's running from one base to another). :) So, yay for Jake!
And, Bailey... she played very well, too. She got two hits, scored two runs, and got to play second base for an inning. She did a good job when she was paying attention and seemed pretty happy that she got to play in the infield. :)
After the game, we took our freezing toes and hands home and ate some lunch... took some hot showers... and got ready for a party. One of our best friends, Bret (aka the villain at Jake's party) was celebrating his birthday with a crab boil and tons of delicious food and wonderful company. We spent the entire evening having fun with our friends, laughing, straining to hear each other over all of the fun, and watching as Bailey and Jake quickly captured the attention of the other kids at the party, in hopes of bringing them all out of their "shells." Again, I was proud of them. We only had to get onto them a couple of times for yelling or running through the house (it's a habit at Bret and Cilla's). And, they quickly made their way into the hearts of some (kind of) new friends by showing their sweet little personalities. We didn't make it home until after midnight, with two sleeping kiddos...
... which meant a morning of sleeping in! :) Well, sort of... we slept until 9 or so... which is definitely sleeping in for us. :)
Brad got up and got us breakfast. Then, Bailey and I had girl time while Daddy and Jake went to Home Depot. Bailey and I got our hair cut and then we went to King's Gardens to buy vegetable plants for our garden. It was a beautiful day... and we wanted to spend it all outside. And, we did. Our garden is nearly all planted. A new garden having been cleaned out for this year (translation: me digging out weeds and grass with a rake and shovel... oh my aching back). :) I'm hoping for tomatoes... strawberries... peppers... cucumbers... watermelon... cantaloupe... and a nice big patch of spices.
Before the end of the day yesterday, I made time to go on a run. I made it 5 miles. YAY! Or BOO! I don't know at this point. I should be running twice that (at least) for the training for a half marathon. However, I'm pretty pumped to be running... so I'll just leave it at that. And, for the record, I have walked some during my runs... so I won't be over-doing it (as tempting as it might be).
Do you think I was exhausted after that weekend? :)
Time stops for no man or woman.
Jake and Bailey had their check-ups at the doctor's office. Other than the 4 shots Jake received and the 1 shot that Bailey received (ugh), the visits were great. Bailey is in the 90th percentile for height and weight (48.5 inches and 54 pounds). She's perfectly healthy, happy, and ahead of the game. Jake is in the 50th percentile for height and weight (40.5 inches and 32 pounds). With the exception of needing more iron (no surprise there), he is perfectly healthy, too. The doctor commented that he was speaking more clearly and said he looks great. I had mentioned his stubbornness... she had laughed. Then, she got to see him in all his glory when he would not stop crying about the shots. He actually wouldn't say much of anything to the doctor prior to the shots, other than, "I don't want a shot." Repeatedly. :) Bailey, on the other hand, was trying to tell Jake it wouldn't be any big deal and that it wouldn't hurt (after scaring him to death all morning by making fun of him for having to have them). And, then she was surprised to learn that she, too, would get a shot. Funny how she changed her tune so quickly after she knew that. Haha. I'm sure the doctor thought I was terrible when I teased her and told her that she deserved it for giving Jake such a hard time about it all day. :)
And now you know why there are no pictures on today's post... :) We have been so busy living life, I haven't taken time to capture it. I probably should have taken the time... made the time... but oh well... :) Such is life.
I. AM. BACK.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Well, my blogging on here lately has been sporadic at best, which is exactly what I feel like everything else in life has been like, too! One foot in this door and one foot in another... my head at one place and my body in another. Just crazy busy, in so many wonderful ways... overwhelmed feeling in so many bad ways. :)
But, today, I feel like I am finally back to being a normal person again.
For the moment, anyway. :)
I am back.
I am back to running. Woo Hoo! The doctor released me to do some running. Notice I'm saying some running. He doesn't exactly think it is a good idea for me to run the half marathon on the 30th, but he also figured that I wouldn't take that advice. So, he gave me some useful advice for when I do try to run it. Basically, he told me how to ease back into training... and told me not to run any really long runs before the half... and just to try and go out and do it without the long run before. Well, that just totally makes me a nervous wreck... but it also makes me a very happy runner... mainly because I'll be running SOME. Last night was my first night back at it... and it felt great. Not completely pain-free, but great nonetheless.
I am back to feeling like I have a somewhat normal life, now that the kids' birthday parties are planned, Spring Break schedules have ceased and returned to a normal routine, and I'm able to see a few days on my calendar that involve nothing more than dinner and a movie or some time hanging out with the kids. Too bad that time is in July. Haha. I am only teasing.
I am back to seeing more clearly. Literally. About two weeks ago, we had a little scare where I couldn't really see out of my left eye (it was blurry and I saw black spots). After a rushed visit to the ER, it was determined that there are no brain tumors, signs of a stroke, or blood clots in my head, so THANK GOD. :) However, I did have to get glasses and, despite the headaches they cause, they seem to be helping some. And, the black spots are pretty much all gone now.
I am back to working on my list. I had to kind of ignore it for a while... not because I wanted to, but because I had to in order to get other things done. I was reminded of how much I love my list and the feeling it gives me when I marked off teaching Bailey to tie her shoes. And, I'm ready to do more. :)
I am back to feeling like a regular person again. So, beware... more blogging will ensue. :)
And to prove my point... I am going to be reposting about Jake's party and his love for superheroes on here this week. You can already read them here and here.
But, today, I feel like I am finally back to being a normal person again.
For the moment, anyway. :)
I am back.
I am back to running. Woo Hoo! The doctor released me to do some running. Notice I'm saying some running. He doesn't exactly think it is a good idea for me to run the half marathon on the 30th, but he also figured that I wouldn't take that advice. So, he gave me some useful advice for when I do try to run it. Basically, he told me how to ease back into training... and told me not to run any really long runs before the half... and just to try and go out and do it without the long run before. Well, that just totally makes me a nervous wreck... but it also makes me a very happy runner... mainly because I'll be running SOME. Last night was my first night back at it... and it felt great. Not completely pain-free, but great nonetheless.
I am back to feeling like I have a somewhat normal life, now that the kids' birthday parties are planned, Spring Break schedules have ceased and returned to a normal routine, and I'm able to see a few days on my calendar that involve nothing more than dinner and a movie or some time hanging out with the kids. Too bad that time is in July. Haha. I am only teasing.
I am back to seeing more clearly. Literally. About two weeks ago, we had a little scare where I couldn't really see out of my left eye (it was blurry and I saw black spots). After a rushed visit to the ER, it was determined that there are no brain tumors, signs of a stroke, or blood clots in my head, so THANK GOD. :) However, I did have to get glasses and, despite the headaches they cause, they seem to be helping some. And, the black spots are pretty much all gone now.
I am back to working on my list. I had to kind of ignore it for a while... not because I wanted to, but because I had to in order to get other things done. I was reminded of how much I love my list and the feeling it gives me when I marked off teaching Bailey to tie her shoes. And, I'm ready to do more. :)
I am back to feeling like a regular person again. So, beware... more blogging will ensue. :)
And to prove my point... I am going to be reposting about Jake's party and his love for superheroes on here this week. You can already read them here and here.
Ugh
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Defeat. Repeat. Defeat. Repeat.
I am going to complain. If you don't want to read the whining and pouting of a 30-year old woman, stop reading now, because this post is going to be full of negative whining. I promise to return to regular programming later. But, today, this is my therapy... and I need it.
I am officially having my own pity party... and I am going to let it last as long as I feel like it lasting... because this time I truly feel like I deserve it.
OK. I'm going overboard with the drama and the whining.
Ugh.
I have typed that word at least 50 times this week. As you read about last week, I am injured. Again.
How many posts does a person need to write about this? Really? Didn't I already blog about being injured when training for a race? TWICE?
Yep. Three times must be the charm.
I have a stress fracture in my left foot. It is "highly unlikely" that I will be able to run in the half marathon that I have spent the last three months training for. Three months... or 143 miles... or 22 hours... or 94.5 donuts burned (according to Dailymile). That's how much I have invested. That's how much I've worked to run in this one race... and now the possibility of me even being able to run part of it and walk part of it is only slight.
The sports medical doctor was great. He knew I was upset and tried to help me rationalize it all. He said that I could keep training with the bike and by swimming and even trying out the elliptical, but no running for at least 2-3 weeks. He scheduled me an appointment to come back on April 15 to re-evaluate. At that point, he said he hoped he could release me to run short distances and walk. I asked what would happen if I ran some still... just to see if I could keep up some distance. He said that the bone is basically weakened. If I keep pounding on it, even at small amounts, it will eventually break. So, I have to let it heal or risk breaking my foot.
UGH.
Again. Here I sit, completely ready to run the race I've been training for (almost completely ready), and I'm injured. I'm watching as my friends go on and keep their training up... just like I had to do with Rebecca last year. (Girls - know that I love that you are still training, so please don't feel like you have to shield or protect me. I just wish I was with you is all.). I have to know that every aspect of me is ready for a race and the celebration that we would have afterward, but instead I will likely be sitting on the side, cheering the girls on. Can I get two new feet and ankles, please? :)
I told you this was going to be a pity party post.
I'm so sad. So disappointed. So frustrated. So, so, so mad. Mad at myself because I somehow feel like I should have done something differently. Mad because it seems so unfair that I have to deal with this again. Mad because I am going to have to start all over again.
And yet, part of me is still hoping with all hope that by some miracle, I will pull through this and be able to race. I know it isn't rational... and I know that it isn't likely. But, it's not impossible, either. Still, even when I'm defeated, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking there is some way that I can do this.
On a sidenote, I sat in the Sports Medicine Clinic today with a room full of high school and college student athletes. There were knee injuries galore. I looked around and saw the faces of people who had their dreams squashed and they were young. I am 30. I have a wonderful life and a supportive family. I have a job. I have a home. I never meant to become a runner. It was never a dream. I love it with all of me... and I want to continue it, but I didn't plan for it. I looked around and thought about how sorry I was feeling for myself... and I remembered my brother, Colt. The last time I sat in that room was with him when he hurt his knee playing football. How depressed he must have been... his whole life he had played and prepared and worked to get to play football... and with one hit it was gone. Ugh. It's interesting how life works sometimes... how you think you get something, but you really don't get it at all.
That's it.
Ugh.
On the brighter side... today is baby girl's birthday. I will not let this keep us from enjoying it... and celebrating her. So, now that I'm done with my sad little party, I shall move on. It's just another day... and this too shall pass.
I am going to complain. If you don't want to read the whining and pouting of a 30-year old woman, stop reading now, because this post is going to be full of negative whining. I promise to return to regular programming later. But, today, this is my therapy... and I need it.
I am officially having my own pity party... and I am going to let it last as long as I feel like it lasting... because this time I truly feel like I deserve it.
OK. I'm going overboard with the drama and the whining.
Ugh.
I have typed that word at least 50 times this week. As you read about last week, I am injured. Again.
How many posts does a person need to write about this? Really? Didn't I already blog about being injured when training for a race? TWICE?
Yep. Three times must be the charm.
I have a stress fracture in my left foot. It is "highly unlikely" that I will be able to run in the half marathon that I have spent the last three months training for. Three months... or 143 miles... or 22 hours... or 94.5 donuts burned (according to Dailymile). That's how much I have invested. That's how much I've worked to run in this one race... and now the possibility of me even being able to run part of it and walk part of it is only slight.
The sports medical doctor was great. He knew I was upset and tried to help me rationalize it all. He said that I could keep training with the bike and by swimming and even trying out the elliptical, but no running for at least 2-3 weeks. He scheduled me an appointment to come back on April 15 to re-evaluate. At that point, he said he hoped he could release me to run short distances and walk. I asked what would happen if I ran some still... just to see if I could keep up some distance. He said that the bone is basically weakened. If I keep pounding on it, even at small amounts, it will eventually break. So, I have to let it heal or risk breaking my foot.
UGH.
Again. Here I sit, completely ready to run the race I've been training for (almost completely ready), and I'm injured. I'm watching as my friends go on and keep their training up... just like I had to do with Rebecca last year. (Girls - know that I love that you are still training, so please don't feel like you have to shield or protect me. I just wish I was with you is all.). I have to know that every aspect of me is ready for a race and the celebration that we would have afterward, but instead I will likely be sitting on the side, cheering the girls on. Can I get two new feet and ankles, please? :)
I told you this was going to be a pity party post.
I'm so sad. So disappointed. So frustrated. So, so, so mad. Mad at myself because I somehow feel like I should have done something differently. Mad because it seems so unfair that I have to deal with this again. Mad because I am going to have to start all over again.
And yet, part of me is still hoping with all hope that by some miracle, I will pull through this and be able to race. I know it isn't rational... and I know that it isn't likely. But, it's not impossible, either. Still, even when I'm defeated, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking there is some way that I can do this.
On a sidenote, I sat in the Sports Medicine Clinic today with a room full of high school and college student athletes. There were knee injuries galore. I looked around and saw the faces of people who had their dreams squashed and they were young. I am 30. I have a wonderful life and a supportive family. I have a job. I have a home. I never meant to become a runner. It was never a dream. I love it with all of me... and I want to continue it, but I didn't plan for it. I looked around and thought about how sorry I was feeling for myself... and I remembered my brother, Colt. The last time I sat in that room was with him when he hurt his knee playing football. How depressed he must have been... his whole life he had played and prepared and worked to get to play football... and with one hit it was gone. Ugh. It's interesting how life works sometimes... how you think you get something, but you really don't get it at all.
That's it.
Ugh.
On the brighter side... today is baby girl's birthday. I will not let this keep us from enjoying it... and celebrating her. So, now that I'm done with my sad little party, I shall move on. It's just another day... and this too shall pass.
Trying to be patient... or a good patient. :)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I haven't written much about running lately. Well, I haven't written much about much of anything on here lately. :) It isn't because I don't want to, but because I have been trying to juggle a few things.
I have had a few things on my mind lately... all of it being related to 100 different things. So, it's been a little more than difficult to sit down and write anything clearly. All of it is a jumbled up mess of ideas and tirades and thoughts that really are only connected by my consciousness. :)
But, today, I suppose, I feel compelled to write about running, especially since I have been wanting to run all day and can't.
As most of you know by now, I'm training for a half marathon at the end of April in Nashville.
I've been working hard. Some days are better than others, but I've been dedicated... excited... and ready to make this all come together nicely.
Two weeks ago, I started having problems with my foot. My left foot... not the right ankle that was bothering me last year.
After running, then taking days off, then trying again, I hit a wall. I had refused to go to the doctor. I had refused because I had no desire at all to have a doctor tell me that I should stop running. But when I found that I couldn't run more than 1.5 miles, I caved.
Off to the doctor, I went after I attempted a 4 mile run on Thursday and only made it 1.5 miles in about 18 minutes (much, much slower than I usually run). I prepared myself for the conversation with the doctor, rehearsing what I would say if she/he told me that I should not run on my foot, "Well, I understand that it makes the most sense for me not to run, Dr. X, but I am just not going to be able to do that. Can you send me to someone else who can help me?" I had it down... I wasn't going to leave there with a "no-running" answer.
I have to say that I don't think I've ever really considered myself an athlete. Yes, I played tennis in high school, but I don't think I ever considered myself a "real" athlete. I can also say that, until Thursday, I have never really felt like someone was treating me like an athlete.
Dr. X was wonderful. She asked me what was going on. I told her I was training for a half marathon and explained my injury. She said, "Well, first things first, you need to see a sports medicine doctor. I know I can tell you to stay off your foot, but you are obviously not going to stop training and I don't blame you. I know you aren't going to listen if I tell you to not train, so I am going to make sure that we x-ray it and see what's going on, and then I'll refer you on to someone who will help you train with an injury."
Hallelujah. I sat in shock that I didn't have to beg or plead or make this lady understand this need. Most people would just tell me that there are other races and that there are other priorities. And, while I admit that those things sound completely rational and reasonable, those people haven't spent the last three months busting their butts in the snow or spending their time away from kids running so that they can be ready for a specific race. Those people have no idea how hard it can be to get into shape and how easy it can be to get out of it. It takes time to rebuild and time to train. And, I am not interested in having to start all over. At. All.
My mood, which had been completely dismal, shifted. Sure, my foot felt the same. The outcome could very well be the same. But, I felt hopeful that there is a doctor out there who understood my need to do this.
The x-ray came back looking good, but the doctor wanted confirmation from the radiologist. They called me on Friday morning. Funny thing is, the only thing they saw on the x-ray was a bone spur in my heel. No pain in my heel, but a bone spur there (even funnier, my heel on my RIGHT foot, not the one they x-rayed, bothers me a lot after a run, but not enough to keep me from running). :) The doctor said the radiologist suspected a stress fracture that really didn't show on the x-ray, perhaps because it had partially healed, etc. So, the doctor recommended I wait until Tuesday to actually run (meaning not running my long run or any short runs all weekend - ugh). Then, if I can't run on Tuesday, to go to the sports medicine clinic on Wednesday. Of course, a birthday weekend didn't make it easy to stay off of my foot, but I've iced it several times. I've taken ibuprofen. And, now, I'm hoping that tomorrow I can do a little test on it by jogging lightly down to the stop sign and back and seeing if I have any pain. If I do, I'll ice some more, try running on Tuesday, and pray for the best.
I can't describe my disappointment right now, but I am staying focused and I am refusing to admit any kind of defeat. I feel like I'm in good shape and can stay that way until my foot feels better. But, I'm hoping and praying that it gets better soon. I don't have much time. I have worked so hard to get to this point. So, you know I've been down. It was probably a really good thing that I had a party to plan and all kinds of pink, frilly, and perfect little girls to be around. :) I feel a bit dramatic asking for your prayers... especially when I have been reading blogs of people who are fighting major battles to save their children's lives or having legitimate life concerns. So, I won't do that... but send positive vibes my way. I really want to run this race and run it well. I can't afford time off! :) And we all know, patience is not my friend... :)
I have had a few things on my mind lately... all of it being related to 100 different things. So, it's been a little more than difficult to sit down and write anything clearly. All of it is a jumbled up mess of ideas and tirades and thoughts that really are only connected by my consciousness. :)
But, today, I suppose, I feel compelled to write about running, especially since I have been wanting to run all day and can't.
As most of you know by now, I'm training for a half marathon at the end of April in Nashville.
I've been working hard. Some days are better than others, but I've been dedicated... excited... and ready to make this all come together nicely.
Two weeks ago, I started having problems with my foot. My left foot... not the right ankle that was bothering me last year.
After running, then taking days off, then trying again, I hit a wall. I had refused to go to the doctor. I had refused because I had no desire at all to have a doctor tell me that I should stop running. But when I found that I couldn't run more than 1.5 miles, I caved.
Off to the doctor, I went after I attempted a 4 mile run on Thursday and only made it 1.5 miles in about 18 minutes (much, much slower than I usually run). I prepared myself for the conversation with the doctor, rehearsing what I would say if she/he told me that I should not run on my foot, "Well, I understand that it makes the most sense for me not to run, Dr. X, but I am just not going to be able to do that. Can you send me to someone else who can help me?" I had it down... I wasn't going to leave there with a "no-running" answer.
I have to say that I don't think I've ever really considered myself an athlete. Yes, I played tennis in high school, but I don't think I ever considered myself a "real" athlete. I can also say that, until Thursday, I have never really felt like someone was treating me like an athlete.
Dr. X was wonderful. She asked me what was going on. I told her I was training for a half marathon and explained my injury. She said, "Well, first things first, you need to see a sports medicine doctor. I know I can tell you to stay off your foot, but you are obviously not going to stop training and I don't blame you. I know you aren't going to listen if I tell you to not train, so I am going to make sure that we x-ray it and see what's going on, and then I'll refer you on to someone who will help you train with an injury."
Hallelujah. I sat in shock that I didn't have to beg or plead or make this lady understand this need. Most people would just tell me that there are other races and that there are other priorities. And, while I admit that those things sound completely rational and reasonable, those people haven't spent the last three months busting their butts in the snow or spending their time away from kids running so that they can be ready for a specific race. Those people have no idea how hard it can be to get into shape and how easy it can be to get out of it. It takes time to rebuild and time to train. And, I am not interested in having to start all over. At. All.
My mood, which had been completely dismal, shifted. Sure, my foot felt the same. The outcome could very well be the same. But, I felt hopeful that there is a doctor out there who understood my need to do this.
The x-ray came back looking good, but the doctor wanted confirmation from the radiologist. They called me on Friday morning. Funny thing is, the only thing they saw on the x-ray was a bone spur in my heel. No pain in my heel, but a bone spur there (even funnier, my heel on my RIGHT foot, not the one they x-rayed, bothers me a lot after a run, but not enough to keep me from running). :) The doctor said the radiologist suspected a stress fracture that really didn't show on the x-ray, perhaps because it had partially healed, etc. So, the doctor recommended I wait until Tuesday to actually run (meaning not running my long run or any short runs all weekend - ugh). Then, if I can't run on Tuesday, to go to the sports medicine clinic on Wednesday. Of course, a birthday weekend didn't make it easy to stay off of my foot, but I've iced it several times. I've taken ibuprofen. And, now, I'm hoping that tomorrow I can do a little test on it by jogging lightly down to the stop sign and back and seeing if I have any pain. If I do, I'll ice some more, try running on Tuesday, and pray for the best.
I can't describe my disappointment right now, but I am staying focused and I am refusing to admit any kind of defeat. I feel like I'm in good shape and can stay that way until my foot feels better. But, I'm hoping and praying that it gets better soon. I don't have much time. I have worked so hard to get to this point. So, you know I've been down. It was probably a really good thing that I had a party to plan and all kinds of pink, frilly, and perfect little girls to be around. :) I feel a bit dramatic asking for your prayers... especially when I have been reading blogs of people who are fighting major battles to save their children's lives or having legitimate life concerns. So, I won't do that... but send positive vibes my way. I really want to run this race and run it well. I can't afford time off! :) And we all know, patience is not my friend... :)
Still here... I promise
Saturday, March 12, 2011
I have a serious case of spring fever.
I have the urge to clean my windows, paint our kitchen, paint our porch, clean out our garage (AGAIN), and to go visit the local nursery for plants and flowers. I have an even stronger urge to pack a lunch, throw on the oldest, most comfy jeans I have, wear the sweatshirt with holes in it, grab a fishing pole, and head to the lake.
Am I going to do any of that? No. It will probably really be August by the time any of this happens, hehe, but I know it will all come in due time.
Instead, I am daydreaming about all the things I love about spring… all the things I love about the great outdoors… and about all the stuff that I haven’t marked off on my list. :)
I know you’ve been waiting for my post on my snowtubing trip, since I so blatantly announced that I WOULD be going. Well… life got busy… busier… and then it was 50+ degrees outside.
So, I suppose snowtubing won’t be the next thing marked off my list. Boo. :(
Hmmm.
What to do… what to do…
As if I don’t have enough going on, I am actually contemplating all this. Something is chemically wrong with my brain, isn’t it?
You can tell me… I can take it.
So, I’ve tried to figure out what will be next. And I pretty much know what it will be. But, I’ll wait to announce that until I actually do it, since last time I think I jinxed it. :)
Until then, here are some snapshots of what has been keeping me busy, what will be keeping me busy, and what will keep me from going spring cleaning crazy. :)
We finished up our basketball season (already blogged this, I know, but promised pictures - thanks to Dawn for sharing!):
The kids, Kathy, and I spent a day at Newport Aquarium with Jake's preschool class.
I hung out with some of my favorite ladies celebrating the wedding shower and wedding of a childhood friend (and Cilla, Tiffany, and I had a sleepover at my house for the first time since college or high school!).
Met Maria at the wedding (and loved her, thankfully, since we will be spending a weekend in Nashville, running!).
Have eaten my weight in Girl Scout cookies (and sold a few boxes too - if you ordered from Bailey, I promise your boxes will be delivered by the end of the week).
Mentally prepared for Brad to leave on a plane... to go to Jacksonville, Florida... while we stayed here and dealt with a dusting of snow in March and Bailey with a bad cold. :(
Trained for the half and hoped to avoid more injury and obstacles.
Started planning for two very special parties for the two most important kids in the world (my world, of course)
And, coming soon...
T-ball. It is on. Practice has officially started. Jake is so excited that he cried when we had our team meeting last week and didn't actually play ball. Praise the Lord... he's not going to kill us this year. Hahahahaha. Yeah right.
My best friend finds out the sex of her baby (although I already know in my mind what it is). :)
March Madness. Download your bracket at Our Cups Runneth Over and get a 20% discount to 62Cards.
Spring Break. A short trip to Great Wolf Lodge in Ohio before the kids spend the week on mini-vacation in eastern Kentucky.
Then, it is completely on... when I take on Nashville with my girls, run a half marathon, and enjoy my first girls' trip since my kids have been born. I know, I can't believe I typed that either. :)
Can someone please tell me where I can find sleep? :)
Oh, but I am not complaining. At all. As a matter of fact, I love it all. And, I know how blessed I am. I know that it can change in an instant. This blog reminded me of that this week. Please jump over there and read about Lucy and the fight she is having with brain cancer. She's 5... and she is an angel in need of as many prayers as she can get. I don't know her, but all I can say is that I read the blog... perused some of the pre-cancer posts made by her mother, and decided that this could have as easily been my blog or the blog of one of my friends. I simply have thought about her and her family day and night. Really. I can't stop thinking about them. And, I simply must share her story so that all of you loving and praying readers will send up your thoughts for her. I know you will all pray... and I know your prayers work. :)
I have the urge to clean my windows, paint our kitchen, paint our porch, clean out our garage (AGAIN), and to go visit the local nursery for plants and flowers. I have an even stronger urge to pack a lunch, throw on the oldest, most comfy jeans I have, wear the sweatshirt with holes in it, grab a fishing pole, and head to the lake.
Am I going to do any of that? No. It will probably really be August by the time any of this happens, hehe, but I know it will all come in due time.
Instead, I am daydreaming about all the things I love about spring… all the things I love about the great outdoors… and about all the stuff that I haven’t marked off on my list. :)
I know you’ve been waiting for my post on my snowtubing trip, since I so blatantly announced that I WOULD be going. Well… life got busy… busier… and then it was 50+ degrees outside.
So, I suppose snowtubing won’t be the next thing marked off my list. Boo. :(
Hmmm.
What to do… what to do…
As if I don’t have enough going on, I am actually contemplating all this. Something is chemically wrong with my brain, isn’t it?
You can tell me… I can take it.
So, I’ve tried to figure out what will be next. And I pretty much know what it will be. But, I’ll wait to announce that until I actually do it, since last time I think I jinxed it. :)
Until then, here are some snapshots of what has been keeping me busy, what will be keeping me busy, and what will keep me from going spring cleaning crazy. :)
We finished up our basketball season (already blogged this, I know, but promised pictures - thanks to Dawn for sharing!):
I hung out with some of my favorite ladies celebrating the wedding shower and wedding of a childhood friend (and Cilla, Tiffany, and I had a sleepover at my house for the first time since college or high school!).
Of course, my hot hubby was there, too. :)
Have eaten my weight in Girl Scout cookies (and sold a few boxes too - if you ordered from Bailey, I promise your boxes will be delivered by the end of the week).
Mentally prepared for Brad to leave on a plane... to go to Jacksonville, Florida... while we stayed here and dealt with a dusting of snow in March and Bailey with a bad cold. :(
Trained for the half and hoped to avoid more injury and obstacles.
Started planning for two very special parties for the two most important kids in the world (my world, of course)
And, coming soon...
T-ball. It is on. Practice has officially started. Jake is so excited that he cried when we had our team meeting last week and didn't actually play ball. Praise the Lord... he's not going to kill us this year. Hahahahaha. Yeah right.
My best friend finds out the sex of her baby (although I already know in my mind what it is). :)
March Madness. Download your bracket at Our Cups Runneth Over and get a 20% discount to 62Cards.
Spring Break. A short trip to Great Wolf Lodge in Ohio before the kids spend the week on mini-vacation in eastern Kentucky.
Then, it is completely on... when I take on Nashville with my girls, run a half marathon, and enjoy my first girls' trip since my kids have been born. I know, I can't believe I typed that either. :)
Can someone please tell me where I can find sleep? :)
Oh, but I am not complaining. At all. As a matter of fact, I love it all. And, I know how blessed I am. I know that it can change in an instant. This blog reminded me of that this week. Please jump over there and read about Lucy and the fight she is having with brain cancer. She's 5... and she is an angel in need of as many prayers as she can get. I don't know her, but all I can say is that I read the blog... perused some of the pre-cancer posts made by her mother, and decided that this could have as easily been my blog or the blog of one of my friends. I simply have thought about her and her family day and night. Really. I can't stop thinking about them. And, I simply must share her story so that all of you loving and praying readers will send up your thoughts for her. I know you will all pray... and I know your prayers work. :)
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