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Working on being crazy...

Thursday, April 22, 2010
So this blog post is going to be interesting. I think it’s going to be one for the record books. Hopefully, I don’t get phone calls from friends concerned about my sanity or suggesting that I talk to someone. Lol. Nothing is wrong with me that hasn’t always been wrong with me. I’ve always been slightly crazy… and truly only about three people who will read this will relate to what I’m saying and understand that I’m not really crazy or even semi-insane, because that would mean they are crazy or semi-insane too. :) You know who you are, so I’m not pointing fingers.

For weeks, I’ve been toiling with ideas. Crazy things that I would like to do or have done and would like to do again…all legal, nothing bad. :) I keep thinking about my “bucket list” for lack of a better term. Not that I’m worried I’m dying, so please don’t be concerned about my health. I just feel like life is so short. Maybe I’m thinking about it more because I’m going to hit the 30 mark this year. Or maybe it’s because my children are growing up so fast and needing less of me, and more of me, all at the same time. It could be movies that I watch or shows that I see that make me realize that there’s so much to life and so much that I want to do and know that I never have figured out. I don’t know. But, it has been on my mind.

So, I considered a lot of things. After watching Julie & Julia, I considered trying something new every single day and blogging about that. Brad quickly pointed out how hard it is for me to sit down and blog about the kids, much less something new everyday. He also was quick to point out that several of the items on my list are things that will take more than one day. So, I thought about making a list and blogging about the things I do as I accomplish them. That way, when I am old and gray or dead, my kids could look back and see that I was more than just the person who picked up their clothes, made their food, yelled at them for tracking dirt all over the house, pushed them on the swings, blah, blah, blah. :) Part of it is all about me leaving a legacy to them that says, “Wow, my mom was more than just my maid or the nagging voice in my head… she actually did some really cool things.” Part of the problem with me publishing a list is that it is always changing and I don’t want to make a list and accomplish none of it and then be even more mad at myself for not doing the things I wanted to do. Whew… this is hard to explain without sounding crazy. Glad you guys all love me.

Which brings me to the next thing. I feel like God is leading me… that He’s always been leading me… to hunger or thirst for more. I have always thirsted for more information and education, and always, ALWAYS, felt an incredible desire to help other people. I’ve prayed for him to show me what he wants me to do. And, even then, I feel even more compelled to try new things and live life more adventurously. So, could this be what He is trying to tell me to do? I have no idea. I do have a lot of things on my "list" that involve serving the public (i.e. like working for Habitat for Humanity, etc. - not politics). :)

Then, I started thinking more… again, very dangerous. I started thinking that maybe if I publish this list or some variation of a list, or even just verbalized a few things that I want to accomplish over the next few months or year, maybe I’d be more likely to do it because I wouldn’t want to let you guys down. I know that you guys aren’t really sitting there dying to know if I can do everything I want to do in my life. Truly, I’m not that egotistical to think that you guys are that engrossed with my life. Lol. BUT… maybe by doing something drastic and having someone to hold me accountable, I would actually DO the things I say I’m going to. SCARY. Lol. Cilla – I know you hear me on this one, I know… what the heck am I thinking? I feel like I should be saying something like, “Talk me down, man.”

Anyway… drastic has been my forte in a lot of things… risk-taking isn’t usually something I freak out about (within reason)… Change is something I LOVE completely. If I could change something in my house everyday, I would. If I could move every year, I would. If I could change jobs every year, I would (and have, with the exception of one job). Lol.

So… I’m building up to something here, right?

Well, I haven’t committed to listing a bunch of things. As a matter of fact, I’ve decided that I’m only going to take baby steps (which makes me even more nervous than just blurting everything out, closing my eyes, and hoping for the best). I am going to start with one thing.

Drum roll, please…

I’m going to train for a 5K. :) I know many of you are rolling your eyes and just downright cracking up. Why? Because I hate to run. Loath it entirely (for you parents who have watched the Jim Carrey Grinch movie, imagine that line in the movie… if your son is addicted to it like mine is, you know exactly what I’m talking about.)! I do hate to run. But, I hate being out of shape more. I hate it that when I listed my crazy schedule in my blog a week or so ago, I listed all of the support I give to my family to be in athletics (even my three-year old), but did not have one athletic thing going on in my life. I hate feeling like a has-been… used to be athletic, but had kids and decided to be flabby instead. :) Of course, I started out saying I wanted to train for a triathlon instead of just running. Dream big or go home, right?! Brad encouraged me to take baby steps. He knows me so well… there’s no way that I’d be able to hack it if I just started out with a huge goal like that. My plan is to run in the Bluegrass State Games in July. Pray for me peeps… I need it. :)

And, I’m actually thinking about making it a family thing with Bailey. She can run in the BG State Games, too, if she wants. So, if she’s up for it, I might take her to run with me some. If she can do it, I might just get her into it now, too. :)

So, this isn’t the end of this craziness, I’m sure. It’s probably only the beginning of lots of blogs relating to my insanity. Life with the Ootens might just get a tad more interesting… I might just decide to do more than run a 5K. I might even get braver and post more things that I want to do. I might… just might… start a whole new adventure here. But, in case I make a mistake, I will err in caution and just move forward with baby steps… here’s to me training.