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Trying to be patient... or a good patient. :)

Sunday, March 20, 2011
I haven't written much about running lately. Well, I haven't written much about much of anything on here lately. :) It isn't because I don't want to, but because I have been trying to juggle a few things.

I have had a few things on my mind lately... all of it being related to 100 different things. So, it's been a little more than difficult to sit down and write anything clearly. All of it is a jumbled up mess of ideas and tirades and thoughts that really are only connected by my consciousness. :)

But, today, I suppose, I feel compelled to write about running, especially since I have been wanting to run all day and can't. 

As most of you know by now, I'm training for a half marathon at the end of April in Nashville.

I've been working hard. Some days are better than others, but I've been dedicated... excited... and ready to make this all come together nicely.

Two weeks ago, I started having problems with my foot. My left foot... not the right ankle that was bothering me last year.

After running, then taking days off, then trying again, I hit a wall. I had refused to go to the doctor. I had refused because I had no desire at all to have a doctor tell me that I should stop running. But when I found that I couldn't run more than 1.5 miles, I caved.

Off to the doctor, I went after I attempted a 4 mile run on Thursday and only made it 1.5 miles in about 18 minutes (much, much slower than I usually run). I prepared myself for the conversation with the doctor, rehearsing what I would say if she/he told me that I should not run on my foot, "Well, I understand that it makes the most sense for me not to run, Dr. X, but I am just not going to be able to do that. Can you send me to someone else who can help me?" I had it down... I wasn't going to leave there with a "no-running" answer.

I have to say that I don't think I've ever really considered myself an athlete. Yes, I played tennis in high school, but I don't think I ever considered myself a "real" athlete. I can also say that, until Thursday, I have never really felt like someone was treating me like an athlete.

Dr. X was wonderful. She asked me what was going on. I told her I was training for a half marathon and explained my injury. She said, "Well, first things first, you need to see a sports medicine doctor. I know I can tell you to stay off your foot, but you are obviously not going to stop training and I don't blame you. I know you aren't going to listen if I tell you to not train, so I am going to make sure that we x-ray it and see what's going on, and then I'll refer you on to someone who will help you train with an injury."

Hallelujah. I sat in shock that I didn't have to beg or plead or make this lady understand this need. Most people would just tell me that there are other races and that there are other priorities. And, while I admit that those things sound completely rational and reasonable, those people haven't spent the last three months busting their butts in the snow or spending their time away from kids running so that they can be ready for a specific race. Those people have no idea how hard it can be to get into shape and how easy it can be to get out of it. It takes time to rebuild and time to train. And, I am not interested in having to start all over. At. All.

My mood, which had been completely dismal, shifted. Sure, my foot felt the same. The outcome could very well be the same. But, I felt hopeful that there is a doctor out there who understood my need to do this.

The x-ray came back looking good, but the doctor wanted confirmation from the radiologist. They called me on Friday morning. Funny thing is, the only thing they saw on the x-ray was a bone spur in my heel. No pain in my heel, but a bone spur there (even funnier, my heel on my RIGHT foot, not the one they x-rayed, bothers me a lot after a run, but not enough to keep me from running). :) The doctor said the radiologist suspected a stress fracture that really didn't show on the x-ray, perhaps because it had partially healed, etc. So, the doctor recommended I wait until Tuesday to actually run (meaning not running my long run or any short runs all weekend - ugh). Then, if I can't run on Tuesday, to go to the sports medicine clinic on Wednesday. Of course, a birthday weekend didn't make it easy to stay off of my foot, but I've iced it several times. I've taken ibuprofen. And, now, I'm hoping that tomorrow I can do a little test on it by jogging lightly down to the stop sign and back and seeing if I have any pain. If I do, I'll ice some more, try running on Tuesday, and pray for the best. 

I can't describe my disappointment right now, but I am staying focused and I am refusing to admit any kind of defeat. I feel like I'm in good shape and can stay that way until my foot feels better. But, I'm hoping and praying that it gets better soon. I don't have much time. I have worked so hard to get to this point. So, you know I've been down. It was probably a really good thing that I had a party to plan and all kinds of pink, frilly, and perfect little girls to be around. :)  I feel a bit dramatic asking for your prayers... especially when I have been reading blogs of people who are fighting major battles to save their children's lives or having legitimate life concerns. So, I won't do that... but send positive vibes my way. I really want to run this race and run it well. I can't afford time off! :) And we all know, patience is not my friend... :)