Boy Time

On Saturday, my boys went to the UK football together. Just Brad and Jake. 


There are times that I think men have no clue how much what they do impacts their kids. I know that Brad doesn't seem to realize how important it is for him to do these things with Jake. I know that he knows that this means a lot to Jake, because it means a lot to him. But, he doesn't acknowledge that it's a big deal. He chooses to treat things as "no big deal." Part of that is because there isn't much in life that Brad considers "a big deal." And, like his father, Jake doesn't seem to be overly-excited about much either. They have that same personality... sometimes emotional about things you don't expect them to be emotional about, but typically not emotional about much. Of course, Bailey and I don't get that at all, but we are the complete opposite. There's not much in the world that we don't make a big deal about. lol. We can't help it any more than they can. 


For me, seeing Brad and Jake heading to the ballgame together was priceless. Maybe it was a bit of foreshadowing in my mind... a relationship that I can see for them in the future. The "my dad is my hero" type of attitude that I can see emerging from Jake at some given point (much sooner than later). You know, the kind of admiration where he goes to school and tells his buddies, "my dad is so strong, he could beat up your dad." Don't you remember those conversations from the little boys you knew? OK... maybe that only happened with my brothers because my dad was a former boxer. If that's the case, then maybe you all think I'm crazy. lol. Oh well, what's new?! I don't encourage him to think that his dad would beat up anyone else's dad, though. :) 


Anyway, I remember watching my dad and my middle brother establish this really cool relationship (Colt did, too, but Cory's is more memorable to me because it was something new for me to understand... by the time Colt came around, I expected it). Cory was probably about 5 before I really remember seeing it happen. There was this connection that they had... and I am so excited about that for Jake and Brad. Right now, Jake is mommy's little baby. He loves being my little baby. He even tells me he isn't a big boy because he is my little baby. And I am taking it while I can get it. I know it will only be a couple of years before he will think it's not cool for me to kiss him in public. He will want daddy to take him to school. He will want daddy to help him on the ballfield (oh, scratch that, he already does, thus the kicking in the outfield). 


I can feel it shifting, especially on days like Saturday, where they do something like this together. You can see it in Jake's little eyes when he looks at Brad. He's already the coolest guy in the world. And, while Jake is still mommy's little baby and he wants to come home to his mommy to snuggle him to sleep, he is already ready to jump in the truck and go with his dad at any given opportunity. You can see it every time he brings me a toy that is broken and declares, "Daddy will fix it." It doesn't matter if I could actually fix it (which I normally can't because by the time they are broken to Jake, they are really destroyed). He wants his daddy to do it. No one else. It's in the adorable way that he wants to pee standing up or in the grass when daddy is around, but decides against that when it is just the two of us. You can see it when he looks at his shirt or shorts and says, "I wook wike daddy" or "This is just wike daddy's shirt." It is there every time he jumps on the trampoline and tells me he can flip like daddy (he does somersaults as opposed to the full out series of flips that his dad does). And, it is in the sprint that he makes for the door when his dad gets home and he starts begging him, "Go jumping wif me?" It's all there... just on the cusp of turning him from my baby to daddy's little man. And, while I would love to keep him my little baby for years and years, I love it that he's  idolizing him so much. There's just nothing sweeter to me than a little boy who loves his daddy so much. It just melts my heart. :) 

A new journey...

Tonight, we went to church. I wasn't in the mood to go, but I had said I would. Brad and the kids wanted to and I knew if I could make myself, I'd enjoy it. So, off we went. I wasn't in the mood to worship God. Don't get me wrong... God is great. He's blessed us with so many things. Yet, I had others on my mind... people who are struggling with things that I don't really understand. Sometimes life just isn't fair and it makes it harder for me to feel like showing God that I appreciate Him. That was my mood walking in the door. Now, the rest of this blog is going to be a little about my personal and spiritual experience, so please don't take it as me shoving my religion down your throat. As a matter of fact, if you think it will offend you, don't keep reading. This is just my experience...

It was a great night for me to go. I'm so thankful that my family wanted to be there. Typically, I am the driving force for us going to church... I'm the one saying, "We're going... period." But, tonight it was my family who knew that I needed to be there, even if they didn't realize it.

When we sat down and they began to read the Bible verses for the evening's service, I knew it was for me. They read about how the Israelites, after having been freed from slavery by the Egyptians, began to complain and "grumble" about their unsatisfactory lives. They spent years faithfully following God, and although they were free from the Egyptians, they were hungry, thirsty, and tired. They began to complain and to threaten to stone Moses and Aaron. The lesson that God taught them was that they should be grateful for their many blessings and pay it forward to bless others. (Obviously, this is all in my own words. If you want to read the scripture, it's Numbers chapter 14).

The lesson was the same for us... be grateful for our many blessings. Share those blessings to bless others.

So, on this evening, when I'm in a sour mood and feeling completely ungrateful, despite my own blessings, I'm struck with this feeling. This feeling that I need to realize how grateful I should be. We all get caught up in our daily problems... we all get caught up in the drama of life and jump on the bandwagon when someone begins the "grumbling." It's easy to get sucked into all of the negativity in the world, even when you have everything in the world to be positive about. So, I'm starting my journey tonight. It's a counting journey. One of the recommendations that the speaker shared tonight was that she and her husband started a blessings journal where they each would write down a few things that they were grateful for from that day. So... my new journey begins. Sometimes I'll blog about these and sometimes I'll just jot them down in a notebook, but it is one of those things that I'm hoping will help me realize how wonderful life is. And, maybe I'll feel more grateful and eager to go to church, even on a day when it seems like I keep hearing the negatives of the world. :)

Here's my starting point...

My blessings for today:

Blessing 1: I woke up to a screaming alarm clock, one kid on each arm, and no husband in sight. Blessing? Well, I remember my hubby giving me a kiss before he left. A minor daily gesture, but one that I miss every morning that it doesn't happen.

Blessing 2: We drove Bailey to school, dropped her off, and made our way back home. When we got here, Jake cuddled up in my arms on the couch. We sat here relaxing, watching a movie when he looked up and told me he loved me.

Blessing 3: I pulled up to Bailey's school to pick her up at the car line and she came bursting out the door, waving as big as she could. She was smiling ear to ear. It was wonderful to see her smiling... especially because I knew it was all for us.

Bad things happen to good people everyday. I'm sure that won't change because I'm remembering the good things in my life. I just hope that maybe it will make me cherish these things even more. Remind me of this when I'm grumbling. :)

Beautiful Day

Today was beautiful... nice and warm after what seems like months of snow, ice, and cold winds. I have to say that it could go down as one of those perfect days. We slept in until about 9:30, got up and went to church. We came home, changed into grungy sweats and hoodies, ate leftover Chinese and went outside. No hats and gloves... no promises of hot chocolate... and no hurry to get in and get warm. It was great. The kids rode their bikes, scooters, battery-operated cars, and trikes throughout the day. Brad and I took turns working in the garage and cleaning out cars while the other helped the kids work on their pedaling skills or prevented Jake from eating the remainder of the snow, which was nearly all black at this point. It was just a good day.

I think sometimes what can make a day perfect is that everyone is content. No one was complaining about anything (including me!). Brad helped me with everything without being begged or harassed. The kids played wihtout having complaints about being bored or needing us to do something different. I was just happy to have everyone happy and to find half of our sippy cups that we've been missing when I cleaned out the car! :)

Now they all sleep... except me. And I'm torn... do I go to bed and rest or do I stay up and sew? Balance the checkbook? Write a few grants for the ballet? Watch some tv? Hmmm...