Month of Waiting = Over

I am ready to celebrate. I feel alive. I am not waiting on things right now (at least not entirely). I am just happy. Content. Not waiting... impatiently on much. :)


And, even better, I just ate wonderful asian zing wings and potato wedges for lunch. I actually don't feel hungry for at least the first time in a month. And... I'm not sick. At all. I feel great. 


I'm not perfectly over the surgery. I'm still having some trouble with my side, but the doctor told me today that it is probably just a little inflammation on my diaphragm (for those of you who don't know anatomy - that's the band of muscle that separates your chest from your abdomen). It just hurts when I take a deep breath. But, with some ibuprofen, I'm OK. It should heal quickly. 


The doctor gave me some other great news... I can run again! I didn't expect it to come for a couple more weeks, but he says I'm good to go. I can't lift anything heavy for a while longer, but running is fine. He also told me that my gallbladder pathology revealed that my gallbladder was diseased, which means that once I get over these little humps, I should be fine. It feels so good to hear that! 


And, more good news... Jake's Early Start evaluation was today. Basically, to qualify for the program his score had to be 75 or lower. He scored a 76. They would have let him come into the program two days a week for two hours, but the speech therapist and I talked about it for a long time. He has made so much progress in the last month. It seems like since Bailey has gone to school and he has had some significant one-on-one time with us and his grandparents while I was out sick last week, he has improved so much. So, I kind of expected him to do better at this evaluation than he did at the last one. And, I was right. The therapist gave me a bunch of information and activities to help work with him at home. She recommended that we work with him over the next four weeks at home and see if he improves. She gave us specific things to focus on and if he isn't progressing, we can re-evaluate and put him into the program at any time in the near future. 


This is a great relief to me. I feel like I was right to get him some assistance, but I am also not sitting here worrying that he's going to have to struggle to catch up and be where he needs to be. It's a good place to be... to feel like we caught it early enough to make an easy adjustment, but we aren't having to make a huge lifestyle change for him either. 


So, yes... I'm ready to celebrate. The month of waiting for results and of me being entirely impatient... is OVER. :) I have one more doctor's appointment to go to for a physical. This one will be to re-evaluate everything without my gallbladder and see if I am still showing signs of Sjogren's Syndrome. If I am, then I'll have to go down that road. But, I'm not worrying about it. And, I'm not feeling impatient about it. It's there, in the back of my mind, but I am so prepared for it that I'm just feeling good. If I have that, or something similar, I can deal with it. I can live with it. It just leaves me with a loose end... but not one that is controlling my life like this stupid gallbladder seems to have done. :) 


Finally... I feel like a normal person again. I'm celebrating... :) 

Growing... More of my favorites...

I'm feeling better. Still not 100%, but I'm feeling much better. I miss having energy, but I know it won't be long... it's incredible how much better I feel in comparison to Monday. 


Before I go further, I want to say that I hated it that we weren't able to come to Allie's party, Kristyn! I hope she had a great one! We're hoping to get out to church tomorrow, so maybe we'll see you there! 


OK... now on to a new subject (finally!). 


I have always wanted to mark the kids' growth chart on my wall, but it's always been something that I've procrastinated. I don't know why, but it's just one of those things that I haven't taken the time to do. I decided today would be that day. I got out the baby books and the growth chart information on the kids and decided to mark the wall between their two bedrooms. It's incredible to see how they've grown. They thought it was pretty cool to see, too. 


Seeing it... actually, physically, seeing it has made me kind of sad. Not really depressed or anything like that, but sad to see how fast it has gone by. Bailey is almost 4 feet tall. Jake is a little over 3 feet tall (which really isn't that big of a change - we remembered that he was like 32 inches when he was a year old). 


Looking through all the baby book stuff also made it tough. I showed the kids their ultrasound pictures and photos of me pregnant. I felt pangs of guilt about all the things I had written about Bailey in her book and the lacking information that I had written in Jake's. I know I'm missing a ton of stuff that I kept from his birth... it's somewhere in this house. I just was slightly busier when he came around, what with two kids in diapers and all, as well as a high-maintenance job. :) It doesn't make me feel any better though. I know there are things that I've forgotten about when he was a baby that I won't get back. And, that just makes me feel guilty and sad. But, then again... there is this blog. :) At least I'm tracking things here, right? 


Anyway, it was incredible to look at how our lives have grown, evolved, and changed. It was fun to remember all the little cute things the kids did (and the funny things we did trying to figure it all out). And it made me want to do one of those posts about the kids. You know, the one that says... here are a bunch of things I don't want to forget... 


Here goes.

• Jake loves to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star... especially before bedtime... and he always, always holds his hand up in a diamond when that part comes. 
• Bailey loves milkshake day. On Sunday, Brad always fixes her a milkshake. Jake isn't into ice cream... he loves popsicles though... and he says it in a way that sounds like bicycles. 
• My kids could eat popcorn every day of their lives... and sometimes they do. 
• They both want to be cuddled at night. Every night. It will go by way too fast and I'll be wishing they weren't too cool to snuggle up to me. 
• Bailey loves to pose for photos... she actually was taking pictures with her toy camera the other day and told me to smile. When I just stood there and smiled, she told me to cock my head to the side and smile. :) 
• Jake is dying to go to preschool. We are going to have to give in... he can't wait to go. I love to see how excited he gets when he's telling me about it. 
• Jake thinks to make a snoring noise, he must stick both fingers in his nose and blow. Disgusting, but hilarious. 
• Bailey's teacher sent home a note that says she is a great student. She works very hard and really has fun at school. She has befriended a child who is from the Ukraine and speaks no English. The teacher says that she doesn't think they actually communicate with words, but they sure love to giggle together. I love my daughter's incredible ability to make everyone (and I mean everyone) feel special. She could fail every subject and I swear that this one trait will make her more successful than just about anything else. :)
• Jake is now standing up when he pees. And, yes, the toilet is now not as clean. But, he's so proud. He wants us to watch him all the time. :) And, he wanted to make sure that his friend Joseph sees him stand up the next time he comes over. 
• The kids have decided to start using love when they fight. Yes, you read that right. Now, when they make each other mad, they yell at each other, "I don't love you anymore." Both of them do it. It's awful. In contrast, they also tell each other that they love each other quite often.
• We went to meet my parents at Morehead the other day. I told Bailey that we were going to meet them and she said, "In Hilton Head?" She grinned, knowing that wasn't right. I said, "I wish." She said, "Me, too. Can't we go back?" I love it that she loves the beach just like us. 
• They are great swimmers. Jake can swim about 25-30 feet without help. He won't go under the water, but he can tread water forever. Bailey can swim about half the length of the pool without assistance... and she is a pro at going off the diving board. She's still figuring out how to dive, but she's getting it.
• They have been begging for a baby or a dog for months. They will probably be begging for a lot longer on both. :) Their mamaw got them a cat to keep at her house. She let them name it. They  named it Shaggy. Their plan is to get a dog (specifically a Great Dane) and name it Scooby. :) But first they really want a baby brother or sister (depending on which child you ask). They think they can go to the hospital and buy it to bring home. Fat chance, kiddos. 
• They can't stand it when Brad and I kiss or hug. They have to be a part. And, they love to jump in our bed in the morning and beat Brad up. I love it. :) They know better than bother me early in the morning... they say I'm mean. And they are right. lol

Finally...

...I'm feeling like a real person again! :) 


Last night, I was feeling guilty about Bailey being at home while Jake was getting spoiled by his grandparents. I had told Bailey that if I was feeling up to it I would take her to see Ramona and Beezus. I was wanting to see it as much as her... the Ramona books were some of my favorites as a kid. So... Brad took his girls out on a date last night. You can imagine how thrilled he was to see this chic flick... I think he actually tried to think of an excuse, but I was giving him a hard time about it before he could even try. He sucked it up and took us. 


I'm so glad that we did. Not only did I love the movie, Bailey had a great time. She thought the movie was great. She can totally relate to Ramona. She's not the little sister or middle child, but she can often be the misunderstood child in our house. She's hyper, full of life, and very stubborn. She's the "color outside the lines" type of child and honestly, me, Brad, and Jake are not. I can be more creative than the boys, but a lifetime worth of habits and my adulthood make me a little more stringent. We love Bailey's fun-loving personality. But, we forget it a lot, too. We get frustrated when we come in and she's doing something her way instead of our way... or if she is talking non-stop about something that we simply don't even understand... etc. It was a good reminder that her spirit is what makes her the incredible little girl she is, even if it's probably the thing that will get her into a ton of trouble as she grows. I'm glad Brad got to see it, too, even if he didn't really love it like we did. :) 


And, best of all... I actually felt good through most of the movie. I was really tired after watching it, but after a good night's sleep, I am feeling pretty good. 

Sleep... sleep... and sleep.

I'm sore. I'm on drugs. And I feel like I'm sleeping what is left of the summer away. :) It's actually really nice outside today. I'd love to be out running or walking or taking the kiddos to the park or doing anything outside. But... I'm about to crash out again. I just took my pain meds and they basically knock me on my butt. So... nap time in about 10 minutes. I just got out of bed about an hour ago. lol. I'm so glad Bailey is in school and Jake's at his grandparents' house. 


That's pretty much all I can post right now. Still not ready to get back into the full swing of things. I'm tired of feeling tired and tired of feeling sore, but it was expected, so I can't really complain. I have the best family and friends in the world. But I already knew that... :)


Back to sleep, I go. I'm hoping to be able to stop taking these pain meds soon and to feel more like a person again. Right now, I wander around the house holding onto my stomach, as if something is going to fall out of it all day. lol. And... to all you moms that had c-sections and then had to take care of your babies immediately after... You amaze me. You have my ultimate respect indefinitely. :) 


Ok... to sleep I go... 

Andrea - 1, Gallbladder - 0... literally 0

I had surgery... that gallbladder is gone! If you don't want to hear all the details, it won't hurt my feelings at all. I hate reading medical info and all that, so don't feel like you have to read the next part. There won't be any talk of needles or blood or scalpels. I don't want to pass out at the computer or need to be fanned to finish typing, and I most certainly can't put my head between my knees and type at the same time, although it would probably be pretty funny to try. Sorry about the run-on, if you are English teachers or editors. I know it's not grammatically correct. :) 

We got to the hospital at 7. I wasn't really nervous. I think I've been building myself up for surgery for about a month, so I was really just happy to be getting this taken care of. It was about 7:30 when they called me back and started getting me ready. I changed into my super sexy hospital gown (hehe), got an IV in place, answered a gazillion questions about my medical history, and had a conversation with the anesthesiologist and nurse about medicine and my typically poor reaction to it. Man, Cilla, you were right... these anesthesiologists are GOOD. I didn't get sick when they knocked me out, at all. More on that in a sec. 

They go and get Brad to come in and see me for a few before they take me back to the operation room. I wanted him to be able to talk to the doctor's on my behalf, so I was glad he was there when the doctor, nurses, and anesthesiologists were there. They put a super sexy hair net on me. I told Brad I loved him, gave him a kiss, and off we went to the operating room. I said a little prayer on the way that I would come out without any problems... just to make sure that, while I knew God's will might be other than what I want, He would know for sure that I was really wanting to go home after the surgery. :) 

The operating room (and entire hospital, really) was cold. The operating room was probably really around 50 degrees. They gave me heated blankets, but it was still chilly. I was reminded of a House episode where Dr. House cranked on the AC on Dr. Wilson so that he could hurry him out of the OR and get it for himself. I wondered if that kind of thing really happened in real life. lol. See what I mean about digressions? 

They asked me a few more questions and told me I'd feel a little burning sensation in my hand. Liars. It felt like they stuck my hand in a burning fire. Then, they placed the oxygen mask on my face and it like suctioned to my face. I didn't like it and I remember thinking, "Damn, I wish I would have told them I didn't like the mask... I should have listened to Cilla about it." Oh well, after about two seconds, long enough to think that and chant to myself, "Just breathe and calm down." 

The next thing I know, some nurse is talking to me and I don't know where I'm at or what I'm doing. Brad is sitting beside of me and he has some huge grin on his face. All I can remember saying was, "Laprascopic?" I guess I was worried that they would have to open me up instead of doing the surgery laprascopically. Brad told me yes and the nurse got me some water and crackers. I was having really bad nausea and I felt completely dehydrated. My throat was killing me and I couldn't find words... I began to feel like poor little Jakey when he can't figure out how to say something. 

I asked Brad about five different times or maybe 500 times what the doctor said. He told me the same thing each time... the doctor said everything went great and I'd be going home soon. I asked the nurse a few dozen times about stitches. I just couldn't remember what all I had asked, even when I had just asked it. Perhaps the funniest thing (that I swear they made up) was that when they moved me to recovery, I must have been kind of awake (I don't remember it at all). They told me they were taking me to recovery to get me ready to go home and I started trying to take off my gown to get dressed. I was going to go home. lol. I must have taken off the hair net. Oh well, at least I didn't do anything really stupid. 

So, a few minutes after I woke up in recovery, they discharged me and told me I could get dressed. I started trying to dress myself, but I was so dizzy that I couldn't even see straight, much less dress myself. Poor Brad had to do it all for me. He thought it was interesting that he's normally trying to get me to undress instead of helping me to get dressed. :) How funny I thought he was. After I was all dressed in my own clothes, Brad went to pull the car around and I plopped myself into a wheelchair. Barely made it to the wheelchair because I had the distinct drunk feeling that I was going to fall completely forward on my face on the hard floor below. Somehow, I made it into the wheelchair and into the car. 

On the way home, we stopped to drop off my prescriptions at Walgreens and Brad had to get some food. He hadn't eaten all morning. He asked me if I wanted anything. I told him I wanted cucumbers and a bunch of salt. I don't really even like cucumbers that much. I like them, but not enough to really sit and eat them with salt. Although, as a child, I used to eat them with my cousin, Leigh Anne, who really loved them. Her mom had had gallbladder surgery, so maybe I was just thinking about her because of that on some subconscious level. 

Brad was going to take me home and then run back out to the store to pick up a couple of things and my prescriptions. He got me home and my little man greeted me at the door. I think I terrified him. I was practically falling over and trying to be completely sober and standing up straight. But, that just wasn't happening. I showed him my boo-boos, which made him wring his little hands. He was still really impressed by them and kept asking me to see them again. I told him I wasn't feeling good and that it was my nap time. I made it to my bed and Brad and Kathy got me some water. 

Now, before I go any further, I just have to say that my mother-in-law rocks. My parents work and wanted to be here today, but I asked them to stay home. For one, I didn't want a full house of people and two, I wanted to make sure that we staggered everyone so that if I did need more help later in the week, they'd be available to help. Kathy, my superhero mother-in-law, was wonderful. She had my bed all ready for me to crawl into. She had bought me a couple of magazines to read. She had fixed me a huge glass of ice water in my favorite water cup (it's a hospital cup with a straw). She took wonderful care of my babies, cooked food for them and for Brad, and then cleaned up the entire kitchen. Brad could have done it all, I'm sure, but I would have been trying to clean up messes all day tomorrow. God blessed me with an amazing family and that extends way beyond my parents, husband, kids, and brothers. My in-laws are just as fabulous as they are.  I just can't say that enough. Thank you so much, Kathy. I really, really appreciate it. 

OK. So I crash out in my bed at around 11 or so. Brad comes to check on me at about 2 and I wake up thinking that I'm still in the hospital. I ask him, "Is it over?" He just cracked up. He told me we were home and all that. I began remembering little things. Then, Jake came in to see me and give me hugs and kisses. He was so gentle and sweet. He made sure not to touch my belly and hugged me with his cheeks instead of his whole body. It was still a great hug. :) 

Kathy went and picked up Bailey and she was surprised about the surgery. I showed her that I was fine and that I had boo boos. She wanted to see the stitches, even though I'm quite sure she would have thrown up if I had. :) Of course, I wasn't about to take off the bandages, at least for two days. 

I ate a bagel, drank a gallon or two of water for my sore throat, made a few calls, and went back to bed. That's basically where I have spent most of the day. I have walked around and eaten some salad and rice. And I'm feeling pretty good. I'm really sore and very bloated feeling from the gas they pump into you for laprascopic surgery, but overall, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm going to go back to bed now... :) 

Again, guys, I can't thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers and words of encouragement. You all mean the world to me... love you!

Surgery...

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'll be going in to get my gallbladder removed. I have to be there at 7 and will go in for surgery at 8. Brad says his tee time is at 8:15. :) He's totally kidding, I think. I probably won't know the difference though - I hope not! It would totally freak me out if I actually know what's going on at 8:15 tomorrow morning. :) 


Anyway, I am not nervous... I am not nervous... I am not nervous. 


I'm really not nervous. Honestly. Well, I kind of am, but not enough to even write about. I'm just refusing to think about needles, scalpels, and anesthesia. I have issues with these things... all make me want to pass out. Yep... all the blood runs from my face and I feel dizzy and all that. It's a great time. 


But... I'm on the countdown now... countdown to eating good food again. :) It will still be a while before that will actually happen, but not as long. So, here's to surgery! Woo hoo! 

So thankful. :)

I simply cannot express how relieved I am... how much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I simply cannot thank God enough. I know there are risks with any surgery, so I am not 100% in the clear here. But, I can't even begin to think about that. I am just so happy that I didn't have to have a discussion about even a possibility of cancer today.

I can deal with so many things... I really can. And, I know that there are possibilities for the future that could include a diagnosis of Sjogren's Syndrome or Rheumatoid Arthritis or nothing at all. Or breast cancer... or something I've never even heard of. But, if it will let me live... in any capacity, I am willing to take it, deal with it, and make the most of it. Just please don't tell me I'm going to die. Even if it is inevitable to happen at some point. :) If I die in a car accident tomorrow... at least I didn't know it would happen. :) 

Remind me to read this if and when I get diagnosed with something that is just life-altering and not life-threatening. I'm sure I'll need my own pep talk from time to time. 

I have to thank you guys all again for your support and prayers, words of encouragement and love. I have to thank my best friend for not letting me know that she was worried, too, and for telling me not to worry, and for making sure that she took time to help me out by watching the kids so that Brad could go with me. I am so blessed to have you, Cilla. 

I have the best mommy and daddy in the world. I think I made their lives living hell last night and I can't express how much I wish I could take it all back. I know they were terrified. I should have never freaked out like I did on them. But, I'm so happy they were there and that they remained strong for me. They made me feel like I was slightly crazy, but at least they did it in a way that really reassured me that it would be OK. Even though, I now know that they were reacting about as crazy as I did. lol. :) 

And, of course, I have to thank my sweet hubby. He was furious with me and Google last night. I think he was nervous too, even if he would never admit it, and I was so glad he was with me at the doctor's office today (even if he did park in the wrong garage). :) He has a way of making me feel calmer without doing anything. Probably because he never freaks out like the rest of us emotional maniacs. And he's always saying stupid stuff that is completely unrelated to anything that makes me laugh and distracts me. I swear he doesn't do it on purpose... I think it just happens. It can be really annoying sometimes, but today, I couldn't have had anything better in my life than him. I love you more than anything, Brad... even if I'm "only OK" to you. ;)


The fun stuff begins on Monday morning. Yippee. Thanks to my awesome mother-in-law, Kathy, I will have my kiddos taken care of without any problems. She is always there, stepping in to help with my kids any time I need her. I could not be more blessed. She'll be here Sunday night and will take Bailey to school on Monday morning. I have decided that it's probably best not to even tell the kids about the surgery. Bailey will freak out. She's already been worried from hearing me talk about it, even when I thought I was not talking about it much in front of her. She even started crying one day, worrying that I wouldn't come home after surgery. I just can't have her worrying the whole time. So, we're going to work on an idea to tell her that Mamaw is coming down to take her to school and see how it all goes from there. Jake will be fine... he won't even wonder where I'm at, as long as his Mamaw is here to see him. :) 


And that's that. I'm done with worrying about it all... or concentrating on it for now. I'm sure that I will probably blog one more time about it before my surgery and probably do a post or two about it afterward, but hopefully this will be the beginning of the end of the Gallbladder Saga. :) Thanks for bearing with me... now I can get back to more important things... oh... like my list or the kids or just blogging random crap that no one probably cares about, except me. lol. :) 


To leave on a really good note, we have Bailey all ready to go with ballet. We bought her leotard, tights and shoes tonight. She tried on the leotard and shoes for us tonight... my camera battery was dead (I left it on all night), but I used my cell. I couldn't choose between the photos... they were just too.... Bailey. :) 

Yay... Gallbladder Surgery Scheduled! WOO HOO! :)

Going to blog more later... but before I do anything else (bathe my kids, etc.), I wanted to make sure I thank all of you for your prayers! 


I have gallbladder surgery on Monday. I am so relieved that it is only gallbladder surgery that I honestly am thrilled. lol. I never thought I'd be this happy to have surgery in my life. The doctor just wanted me to come in and talk about the surgery and make sure that my symptoms were reproduced during the HIDA scan. Basically, the HIDA scan can show that there isn't a problem, but if it makes you have the same symptoms as you do when you eat something, then most likely it is a diseased gallbladder. 


Thank you guys all for putting up with my blogs about this... and for my insanity. I hope that I'll have surgery on Monday and become a normal person again shortly thereafter. :) 


Love you all for sticking with me... and truly loving God right now. 

Speed bumps...

I go back to the doctor today. Apparently, the HIDA scan I had last week came back with some "issues." That's all they'd tell me. They said part of it looked good, but the other part had some "issues that they want to discuss with me." That's pretty much all they'd say. 


So, you know what I did? 


Freaked out... like totally and utterly freaked out. I thought about my mom and when she had breast cancer. We all thought it was nothing. The doctors had us convinced that it wasn't anything. We all just felt like it wouldn't be anything. Then, when I talked to my dad and he told me that the doctors had told Mom she had breast cancer, I thought the world had been kicked off its axis. There was no way that she had cancer. None of us could believe it. But then... after we knew what was going on, it all seemed so clear. The doctors had known, or so it seemed, from the time they did her ultrasound. They had needed confirmation, but they had known. We hashed out and probably over-analyzed every conversation that Mom had had with her doctors. Everything seemed to point to the fact that they knew long before they ever confirmed it. 


Last night... I analyzed my conversation with the surgeon. "If we just have to remove your gallbladder, I will just call you and we can set it all up over the phone. If it's something simple, there's no reason for you to have to wait and get another appointment in the office." That's what he said to me at our last visit. So, why is he having me come back in? Obviously, because it's not just  simple gallbladder surgery. So, what is it? 


Then, I thought about the two conversations I had with the doctor's offices yesterday. The one with the surgeon's assistant, who said, "There are other issues with your HIDA scan that he'd like to talk to you about." When I asked if he said anything else about it, she said, "He just said he wanted you to come in... can you come in tomorrow?" Of course, my translation is: "There is something wrong with your HIDA scan and we need to get you in here tomorrow to get this all taken care of... probably because you have a tumor or cancer and we know you're going to need to see an oncologist." :) 


Ok... so I then decide to call the diagnostic center to see if I can get a copy of the report so that I can figure this out on my own. I know... don't judge me, please. I know I sound crazy. It's OK... I don't mind being crazy most of the time. I call Brad and get his fax number to have it faxed to him. The lady at the diagnostic center says, "Sure, I can send you your results. What's the fax number?" I give it to her. She asks for my name and date of birth. Then, she says, "Have you already seen a doctor? I can't give you these results until you've seen your doctor." Really? Because two seconds before you saw that it was my scan, you were ready to fax them. Great... another reason for me to freak out and think that the results say something bad that they need to make sure I have a person sitting in front of me and discussing it all. 


So, last night, I freaked out. I freaked my parents out... so much that they called my aunt, who is a nurse practitioner to see what she thought. She told them that most likely, the doctor sees something that he's not sure about... probably some kind of blockage (not necessarily a tumor or anything cancerous - that's really rare at a young age and I'd be having some other issues that I'm not having). She said that basically, she is thinking that he's going to discuss what they saw and then recommend that I have a MRI  to see what's going on. 


We have no clue if that's the case. But, even if it was a tumor or something really bad, she said he couldn't possibly know it from looking at the HIDA scan. He'll have to have me do more tests... so... it sounds like the most likely outcome for today... a MRI or some kind of additional tests. 


I feel much better today... I'm NOT freaking out now. :) But, I'm annoyed. I am so annoyed. I am frustrated because I feel like my life is paused until this gets taken care of. Of course, I'm spending time with the kids, getting Bailey settled into school, working with Jake on his speech (at home until we get him squared away into a program), and spending lots of time with my husband, who has actually made it home every day this week before 7... that is quite possibly a miracle. 


But, what I'm not doing is frustrating me. I am not running. I am not focusing on any of the things on my list. I am not sewing like I need to be (Kristyn and Cheryl - you are not forgotten). I am just annoyed. But, this too shall pass... and all will be right in the world again. It's a speed bump. That's all... just a speed bump. 


On a brighter and much more fun note... 


Bailey is now enrolled in ballet! :) She starts on Monday. I have to go to new parent orientation tonight. I hope she loves it... she's been wanting to sign up for about a year and we've put it off, thinking that she'd change her mind. But... she hasn't. I'm pretty excited to see how she does. She'll get to perform in the Nutcracker in December. How adorable will that be? :) 


And, Jake is getting signed up for fall ball t-ball. It will be the most hilariously fun thing ever. It will be nothing short of a miracle if he will stay on the field for more than 5 minutes without one of us having to chase him down. But... he says he wants to do it. Bailey isn't as interested... I think she's tired after all stars lasted so long, so she's going to take a break. Five bucks says that she'll end up signed up to play after she sees that she has to go to practices for Jake. :) 


All will be fine... I'm sure. But, just in case, say a little prayer, OK?! :) 

Gallbladder - Chapter Gazillion two

Well, the test made me sick. I guess that's a good thing, but won't know for sure until next week. :) It wasn't horrible though... just some pain in my side, dizziness, and nausea. Just another day in the life of my starving gallbladder. And I do mean starving... like seriously, I have never wanted a cheesy bowl of fettuccine alfredo with a side of cheeseburgers and fries so bad in my life. lol. 


We'll see what they say about it on Monday or Tuesday, so again, the ever-impatient me must wait. Fingers crossed that they want to get this sucker out of me quickly. But not on Wednesday... that's Bailey's first day of school. :)


I got some other news, too, but it is all up in the air at this point. The blood work came back on my liver and it was fine. But, they did find some other interesting things. I can't remember all of the technical terms, as I was finding this all out on the phone (a good thing), but basically there's a possibility that I have some kind of rheumatological disorder. It looks like Sjogren's Syndrome, but the doctor wants me to come in and do a complete physical, as well as look at my blood work again. Basically, she doesn't want me to freak out and think I need to worry about it, but she does want us to be proactive about it. She made the statement that if it was something she was really worried that we needed to find out immediately, she would have had me in the office today. She said I could come back in after the gallbladder or next week, whatever I wanted to do. It could all just be part of the gallbladder throwing things off. Or it could be that I have this syndrome or Rheumatoid Arthritis. In any case, every option is something that has a treatment... not necessarily a cure, but a treatment that would allow me to continue living my life for a long time. Which is really ALL I care about. 


I'm not freaking out... I'm really positive about it and think that this will all work out just fine, so please don't worry. I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on. We're going to get this gallbladder thing figured out and taken care of before we discuss anything else with the Sjogren's or Rheumatology. I want to take it one step at a time and deal with one thing before worrying about another. After I get the gallbladder squared away, I'll have a physical and go from there. So... the saga continues. :) But, this whole gallbladder could be a huge blessing in disguise. Apparently, Sjogren's can be very difficult to diagnose and she said that if it is indeed Sjogren's, we have caught it early because my levels were just barely positive. 


In the meantime... 


No running. And, I'm missing it like insanely crazy. That or just some form of physical activity. No... I really do miss running. It was a nice break from everything and it would be really nice to "escape" into something that I could actually accomplish in a 30-minute period. :)


And it's really hot here. Or it has been, which means I probably wouldn't have wanted to run anyway. I'm hoping tomorrow is slightly cooler... then we're hoping to spend some time at the lake and/or the pool. Just a few more days until school starts and no more pool. :( We have to take advantage while we can. 


Thank you all so much for your sweet thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement... You guys totally rock. :)

Short one tonight... :)

Short post tonight... got to get in bed for my big test tomorrow. :)


No food or drink until after my test. Woo hoo. Thank God it's at 8 in the morning. :) Fingers crossed... hopefully I have a bad gallbladder? Is that even right? I guess that's the best thing to hope for here... so yep... send bad gallbladder vibes my way. If you've ever wanted to wish that I was sick or wish something bad on me (then why the heck are you reading this?), now is the time. I give you permission to hope I have a bad gallbladder and I get sick on the test tomorrow, just to show them that it is my gallbladder. 


Will let you guys know how it goes tomorrow afternoon/evening. 

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers! 

The Saga Continues...

My post about yesterday:

Mother freaking, curse word, curse word, expletive, expletive. :)

That's it. 

No, seriously... 

I went to the surgeon. He's not sure it's my gallbladder and wants to confirm before I have surgery. 

I understand and appreciate that. I like thoroughness.

They want to do a HIDA scan. 

Cool... not really. But, I'll pretend I'm cool with a test that must be so much fun they make sure you have someone to drive you home. Really cool. :( Someone I know that had one before said it made her really sick. Awesomeness. 

Guess when they originally scheduled the test... Friday, the 13th. No, I'm not superstitious, at least not about the number 13 (it was a family football number for years). 

But, I was not happy about waiting a week and a half to have a test done to see IF I should have a surgery. Then, waiting for the results. Then, waiting for the surgery. Then, waiting to recover. If I have the surgery at all. 

What the heck? What if it isn't my gallbladder? Wouldn't it be nice to get that ruled out quickly so that I can start feeling better sooner? I don't want to wait a week and a half, have the test, find out it's not my gallbladder and then see that I have to go back to doctor's offices and start all over to figure out what the heck it is. 

Is it really possible for me to be the only one that sees the problem here? In a building full of doctors??? 

Not happy. 

You know me... I am not going to let someone else control the situation (yes, all doctor's offices surely hate me). I called around and found a place to do the HIDA scan tomorrow (Friday the 6th) instead. I was a little worried my doctor's office wouldn't appreciate this, but I explained to them that I just didn't want to be sick for another week and they were really nice about it. 


They probably are sticking a little voodoo doll with pins as I write. lol 


But, I'm more happy now. Except that I have to have the test at all. Not excited about it, but at least it won't be a week until I have it. 


I'm so happy that I have such a wonderful mom and an awesome best friend to help me. My mom is going to watch the kids for me and Cilla and Brad are splitting up taking me and picking me up at the test. Thank you guys... you rock. :)

And the Organ Comes Out...

Last night, I wrote a post and didn't post it. I was tempted to post it, but I knew that all of you would worry about me... you would all send me such sweet and encouraging messages... you would all pray for me. It isn't that I didn't want to hear from you and to know that you all were thinking about me. I guess I just felt like it would be very selfish for me to post this and have you all worried. 

I'm glad I didn't post it. But I feel guilty for not posting it.

It wasn't a super-depressed post. It was actually pretty positive. But, it showed a very vulnerable me... a part of me that I don't really like. I know we all have our vulnerabilities, but I don't like them. I like feeling positive, secure, strong, and happy. I don't like being negative. I don't like feeling like anyone would have pity on me. I'm filled with pride... sinful pride. :) 

I feel like I cheated on my blog readers by not being my real, vulnerable self. Because truly, this blog is supposed to be about life... real life. Not only the good parts of life. :) All of it. 

Fortunately, I found out good news today. Or so, I guess... I found out that I have to have surgery. Good news? Well, everything just depends on perspective, right? The gallbladder must come out. I had to have extra blood work done to check my liver, which makes me a little nervous still, but for the most part, it looks like my gallbladder is the problem. If my liver is having problems too, well, I'll just cross that bridge then. It will be a week before we have those results. 

Since I am happy with the outcome, at this point anyway, or at least content that there is some resolution here, I figured I'd share with you an apology for not being my real self. In a nutshell, this is what I thought and how it all transpired. This is not the post I wrote, but it describes how I felt pretty much in a shorter version.  

My best friend's mantra to life - Everything happens for a reason. That's what I had to repeat to myself. I read the mail that Bailey brought in yesterday morning (Sunday). It had sat in the mailbox all night. I read my blood work report. It said my bilirubin levels were high and my white blood cell count was low. 

Google, please. Bad idea. 

Liver cancer. Wilson's Disease. Hepatitis. An onslaught of problems with the liver. So many that I could have read all day in fear. 

To church, we went. Brad yelled at me and threatened to take away my computer. I pouted.

I cried at church. Not openly, but privately. I bargained with God. And then I realized that the post Cilla had written could have been written for me instead of her. That truly... God had sent me a message instead of sending it to her. I needed to know that God's will was more important than mine. I gave in. I forfeited to God. I decided that I might be unhappy with my path, if I had a liver disease, surgery, a short life, whatever. But that God had a plan and I had to fulfill it. All I needed to pray for was strength, courage, and patience. 

Last night, I wrote a post about giving up... but not to give up hope... to surrender my worries to God. Yes, if I were you and I read it, I would worry about my state of mind. Not because it was crazy... but because I'm not the type that gives up easily. :) So, I would worry that Andrea had truly come to the last straw or something. :) That's why it won't be posted. 

No worries, everyone. I'm in a great place. In a great state of mind and sadly, I'm content to get an organ removed. Is that seriously possible for Andrea Ooten? lol... 

Yes. It. Is. :)