Four

It's hard to believe that four years have passed since my baby boy was born. In some ways, he still feels like a baby to me... and I think he always will. :) Saturday was his birthday... and this post was mostly done then... but things got hectic... and I was swamped in capes and more capes... so I'm just now posting. Shh... don't tell him. hehe. 


Dear Jake,


How did it happen? How did the past four years fly by? I feel like you are still two years old and have only been for a few minutes... like your second birthday party was just yesterday. And, yet, here we are... another year under your belt. Maybe I feel like you are still so young because you haven't grown much in the past two years. Oh, you are taller and more muscular and more like a big boy in so many ways, but you've gained all of 8 pounds since you were 9 months old. Yes, I am in a panic about what the doctor is going to say at your check-up next week. :)

Jake when he was just an infant... This photo taken by www.priscillabphotography.com

Watching you grow over the past year has been amazing. You are talking so much more clearer than you were last year at this time. As a matter of fact, I found this post from last April, talking about my concerns with your development. Remind me when you are older that I have to remember one thing about you... in everything you do... you do it at your own pace, in your own way. You still mumble sometimes and you still stutter when your mind is working faster than your mouth. It's adorable. And, there are still things that you say that I get confused about. For instance, you were so mad at me a few weeks ago when you pointed to a car dealership and kept telling me it was "Chick-Fil-A." I mean, by the end of the conversation, you were screaming, red-faced, mad and crying. I just thought you were tired and ignored you. Well, as it turns out, you came in a few days later and pointed to a commercial on TV and said, "That's a Chevrolet." Hmmm. You weren't telling me the car dealership was a Chick-Fil-A at all. It just sounded like that. I apologized. I really did. :)

You are still obsessed with superheroes. As a matter of fact, you are so obsessed with them that we had a full blown superhero party for you on Sunday. You loved it so. You kept telling me as we were getting ready for bed that you were so happy because your birthday was great... and that you couldn't wait for the next one. I, on the other hand, was exhausted and not so interested in that other year passing by too quickly. :) We have learned that we shouldn't worry so much about your obsession with the superheroes. You can and do regularly have conversations about other things. Instead, we now embrace all of your superhero love and we look for ways to use it to our advantage. You love to eat salad because Superman eats it to be strong (you don't really like it, I don't think). You still don't love milk, but will drink it when reminded about being tough like a superhero. :) We love superheroes, too. As a matter of fact, I feel like I'm becoming quite the expert on superheroes... it's like a whole new genre of popular culture has been opened up to me. At just the young age of four, you have already taught me so much... like how to stand up to bad guys. :)

Photo by www.priscillabphotography.com

Photo by www.priscillabphotography.com

Since you turned three, you have definitely become a little boy. You are no longer the little toddler that is happy to sit in a stroller at the mall. No, you are a full-fledged little boy now. You love to dig in the dirt, making mud pies in our yard. You can spend hours entertaining yourself with your good guy/bad guy toys, playing out scenes from your favorite movies or just letting them beat each other up. You love the "jumpoline" as you call it and will spend hours upon hours begging your dad to come jump with you so that he can super-bounce you or show off doing flips. :)

You have started playing sports. It has been interesting. We started you with three-year old kick start soccer. Daddy and Paul coached your (and Joseph's) team. You guys were so cute. But, as we are again reminded, you do things at your own pace, in your own way. I worry that you will one day be labeled as uncoachable, because you are so stubborn. But, you are coming along. You played basketball this winter and you are playing t-ball this spring. You always say you want to sign up... and you always have fun once you get there... but when we say we have practice for anything, you automatically start telling me that you are sick or that you don't want to go. Most times, you just flat out don't listen to your dad (and I get really mad about that and have to look like the mean mommy at all of the practices). You are always the young kid on the team... I think that plays a big part in why you act the way you do.

A lot of people, I'm sure, wonder why we push you to do sports. If you wonder when you get older, then understand now. :) You can be insecure. It takes you a long time to warm up to things. We started you in preschool in September. You cried every single morning until around November. Then, it was like a switch went off and you were fine. You started loving school... loving your friends... loving your teachers. You had to take the time to get adjusted. Being involved in activities where people support you and love you and tell you how great you are doing is only going to make you more confident. I don't care if you run to third base after you hit the ball every single time (thankfully, you don't do that)... I just want you to feel secure... to feel comfortable with who you are. I worry myself sick when I see you wring your hands. I hate to see you nervous. I hate to see you stand back and wait to make a new friend. But, it is who you are. And, while it bothers me because I don't want you to ever feel insecure, I know that you come around to everything, in your own time, in your own way. And, so patiently, we try to push you gently into being comfortable and confident, reminding you of how awesome you are at every chance.


Your sweet disposition is something that everyone notices. Everyone. I can't send you anywhere without someone saying, "He is so sweet." I love it, too. You will cuddle up to me on the couch and give me a big kiss and tell me you love me for no reason at all. You notice all of the beautiful things in the world. I will never look at a beautiful sky without thinking about how much you would love it... I kind of wonder if you will grow up to be a pilot because you talk about the sky so much (it could just be the superhero flying fascination, though). :) You notice people's light fixtures, which is hilarious to me because I notice them, too. You compliment people... you will find a way to make someone else feel good, even if you aren't sure how. I've seen you compliment your friends' socks before. Seriously? What 4-year old notices socks? You do. I love that you are so giving with your friends and that you miss them as soon as they leave. I worry that you will never learn to stand up for yourself... I saw a kid in your class shove a stuffed animal in your face so hard that it shoved your head backwards and you didn't say a word. It made me so mad that I almost came over to you to make you tell him to stop, but I didn't. When I told you after the class that you should stop him (yes, I will admit that I told you to punch him if he won't listen), you told me that it was not nice to hit. Ugh. I know that, Jake. But, seriously, you can't let kids pick on you. Then, one day, you decided that Jackson and Joseph had gone too far and you went ballistic on them, screaming your head off that you were "pissed off." So, maybe I shouldn't worry so much... maybe your wick is just a little longer than mommy's.  :)


I love that you enjoy going on dates with me and that you still prefer me over anyone else in the world. I know it won't last. I know my time as the "queen" of your life will come to an end sooner than I want. I dread it. I'm enjoying every second of it now, which is probably a contributing factor to why you are so babied. :) You are 4 and you rarely will dress yourself. You know how... but you won't. You expect me to do it. Yes, I am embarassed to admit that on here. :) You love Mondays and Fridays, because I don't work on those days and Bailey goes to school. It's just me and you. You almost always wake up happy on those mornings, ready for a pop tart, orange juice, and a new hand-picked show from Netflix on the X-Box. Typically, it's one of your favorite 10 superhero movies that you've seen 100 times. You want me to cuddle with you while you eat your breakfast. Then, while I race around the house trying to do as much as possible in one day, you play with your toys. You love your home. If Bailey asks who you are going to marry when you get older, you respond with "mommy." She has argued with you (to the point of fist-fighting) that I am already married to daddy, but you don't care. You are going to marry me. hehe. It's nice to know that you love me so. And, you are still my baby. You still want me to hug you and hold you and baby you, just like I did when you were a baby. You will even crawl in my lap and let me rock you sometimes. See... it's easy to see why I view you as this little baby. :)

You love your daddy, too. You guys have done so much together over the past year... just guys. I love to see that. It melts my heart. I love to see you go to football games or golfing or fishing together. You talk about those times all the time. I love that you value that already... and that you know how much your daddy loves you. You idolize how big and strong he is and how he can fix anything. If you only knew how much you are already like your dad. You already have his habits... and I'm pretty sure it really is genetic. As soon as I say it's time to clean, you sneak away unnoticed, just like daddy. :) You are stubborn and won't apologize unless forced... and then you hate it. You can tell you don't mean it most of the time... your dad is the same way. But, there are good things too... :) You are very easy-going, laid-back, and along for the ride. You are content... always content, just like your dad. You can always find the good in people and always have a good sense of humor. Well, unless it's early in the morning... then beware. That, I'm afraid, you got from me. :)

Bailey is by far your best friend... and always will be. You wake up and ask about her... we drop her off at school and you miss her. I love that. You also have some pretty awesome friends named Jackson, Joseph, and Carson that you talk about all the time. I hope you guys will be best buddies forever... and that you'll add in little Steffan (Cilla's baby boy) when he gets here. I love that you love babies... and you are so sweet and gentle with them. Carson is 15 months old (I think) and you treat him like a newborn, always being so easy to hug on him or squeeze his cheeks. I am sure the day is coming when he is going to get sick of it and knock you out. :) And, when he does, I hope you are just as sweet and gentle as you are right now.

The past four years have been amazing... and I wouldn't trade you for any other little boy in the world. Yes, I would love it if you were more helpful or more independent sometimes or even just less hateful at 7 a.m., but there isn't a boy in the world that has the same sweetness, the same stubbornness, and the same silly sense of humor. You, my boy, are my favorite superhero... and I know that that is the biggest compliment that I could ever give you. :) 

I love you my little man... stay mommy's little boy, please. :) 


Mom

The Lost Letters... :)

Do you all feel like I've forgotten my blog? 


Well, I haven't. I'm still here. 


A little blinder than I was the last time I blogged, but here nonetheless! :) 


It's a long story... and it's not one I want to focus on tonight. Just know that I'm wearing glasses for the first time in my life. Hopefully it isn't permanent, but we shall see (no pun intended). 


Anyway, a few weeks ago, I ran across some interesting ramblings that I had typed up on my computer prior to my blog. It is funny how I was blogging before I was officially "blogging." These particular ramblings were about Jake... all about Jake. You see, when Bailey was born, I kept a journal. I wrote everything in it. It wasn't a baby book, necessarily, but more like notes on everything... different things going on in my life, different things about Bailey, different things about Brad. It was all hand-written. And, I still have it... 


... and then... along came Jake... and along came all of my fears of being the mom that doesn't take pictures of the second child until he starts school. I knew that life would be busier, but I swore to myself that I wouldn't let life get in the way of documenting the various things going on in our lives for our kids to read later. Again, it's funny how things work out... and how I knew I wanted to blog before I ever "blogged." 


I sat down when Jake was a baby and typed up some notes for him on our computer. And, naturally, I forgot them. 


Jake turns 4 on Saturday. I have so many cute posts to do to celebrate his birthday. And, I most definitely will be doing one like I did for Bailey a few weeks ago. But, until then, I thought it would be fun to share my letter to him when he was just a mere 9 months old. I might add that he is only 10 pounds heavier than he was then. Ugh. I hope the doctor doesn't give us too much of a hard time when we go back next week! 


To my baby boy... 

July 10, 2007

Three months after your birth and I’m just now writing about it all. I couldn’t put into writing how guilty I feel for not creating more time and sitting down to write about everything for you. Bailey was the first child and when she napped, I took the time to write about everything. With you, well, Bailey is two. :) So, my hands have been a little fuller!

Now, I’m taking the time, so I’m going to move past the apologies that I will always owe you for not being able to do everything.

The day you were born was one of the greatest days of my life. It was April 9, 2007. My pregnancy had been great – not a problem the entire time… I worked through all of it, feeling great until the week before. I started having intermittent contractions that week and figured it would not be much longer. The doctor had already decided to induce labor on the 9^th, so it was just a matter of waiting. The day finally arrived. Mamaw Kathy had come down to watch Bailey the night before. Daddy and I got up early and arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. They admitted me and started the medicine I needed at about 7. Most of the day was quiet. Daddy and I played cards until Big Poppa and Mimi arrived. Then, we hung out and talked with them. At about 11, I asked for an epidural to help reduce the pain. You were taking your time and I was just hanging out with everyone. A little while later, the nurse came in and turned down the medicine that was helping you come along. Apparently, you were having a hard time when the contractions were going and they wanted to make sure everything was OK. I continued having contractions, regardless of the fact that I wasn’t being pushed by medicine. It only took a matter of time before they said you were on your way soon. At about 4:00, the doctors came in. I knew you would arrive soon. At 4:25, you were born. Your arm was stuck around your neck, so you had been strangling yourself when I had contractions. I guess you had just grown accustomed to laying with your arm over your head… you continued to do that after you were born.

I couldn’t believe how beautiful you were and how much smaller you were than I expected you to be. You reminded me so much of your sister. Daddy could not have been prouder. He just kept smiling and looking at you. I only got to hold you for a minute before they took you to clean you up and make sure you were OK. You were having some trouble breathing and crying. The nurses scared me because they kept saying that you didn’t sound good. I couldn't help but start crying. I was so in love with you and so terrified that something could be wrong. I made your daddy go with you to the nursery to make sure you were OK. When they took you, everyone was gone and I was left all alone, crying. Fortunately, Mimi came in and talked to me. She assured me that you were healthy and that everything would be fine. Everyone was so excited to see you. Bailey was telling everyone about her brother. They were all looking at you through the nursery window and watching you get your first bath. It was so nice to know that everyone was there with you. Mamaw Kathy, Mimi, Bailey and Daddy stayed with you while they made sure you were OK.

It seemed like it took so long before the nurses brought you back to see me. I was so upset because all I wanted to do was hold you and feed you. Finally, at about 9 p.m., Mimi and Daddy made them bring you to me. I held you and rocked you. It was so nice to finally get to see you and love you. Bailey was so thrilled to see you too. She sat in my lap and helped me hold you. She was so excited about “Jakey.” She held you on the couch and we took your first picture…

Later that night, you cuddled up to me and went to sleep. I held you while you slept for a long time.

You were the sweetest baby… and I could tell you were going to be big. You ate so much! The nurses were all so surprised that you ate a 4 ounce bottle! You slept so much. I was so impressed by how sweet and quiet you were… and by how much you looked like your uncles Cory and Colt.

We brought you home on Wednesday (you were born on a Monday). It was great to finally be home with you and Bailey.

I guess that’s when it started getting pretty busy though! I couldn’t keep up with everything I wanted to do to mark and highlight your little life. I could see that I was going to be the mom that I didn’t want to be… the one that didn’t take enough photos of the second child and the one that never finished the baby book.

This is my attempt to work on it! I know I will have a hard time finding a way to record it all, but I will do everything I can. The most important thing is that you know how much I love you. My biggest fear is that you (and Bailey) would lose me before you should and you wouldn’t know how much you mean to me. I couldn’t put into words how much I love you and your sister. Since the days that both of you were born, I have been a mommy first and everything else last. All I want in life is to see you grow into strong people, who love with all your hearts, who give to those in need, and appreciate the small things in life. I want you both to find true happiness. More than anything, I want you both to always know that your daddy and I will always be there for you… we will always love you more than our own lives.

I will try… I promise… to write more to you and your sister so that you can look back and know about your childhood… the special things you did that made me laugh and cry… the special ways that you made me the most blessed woman on the face of the earth. J

I love you, my baby boy. 

Our Weekend

And, I'm back to being a normal person again... not freaking out quite as much about something as simplistic as a running injury. Maybe I'll be able to overcome this injury and get back on the horse for the race. If not, I'll just deal with it and go on. Thanks for reading my whining post from a few days ago. :)


In other news, Bailey got strep throat on Thursday night, spent nearly the entire day on Friday in bed or on the couch, and has come back to reality with fierce energy. I still don't know why I am surprised by how fast kids rebound.


So, this morning, after missing t-ball because she was contagious until she had had antibiotics in her system for 24 hours, she was ready to go. We spent our afternoon at the Kentucky Ballet Theatre's version of Peter Pan. Jake ended the ballet in true man form... asleep. :) Bailey loved it like any little girl would love it. She and the other hundreds of Girl Scouts there were on cloud 9 with the performance. I have to say I was pretty impressed, too, despite the sleepiness that I also had from the cozy dark seat and cuddly, warm little guy sitting on my lap.


And, now, we are off for a date. No, not a date night for me and Brad. A date night for me and Jake... and a date night for Brad and Bailey. Brad is taking Bailey to Princesses on Ice and I'm taking Jake to a movie that he's already seen, but is determined to see again... Rango. 


Yes, they lived a very charmed life. 


Oh... and Go Cats. Yes, I said it. They beat my team. They beat the hated OSU Buckeyes. I kind of have to root for them. Just a little. 


Pics coming soon. :)

Ugh

Defeat. Repeat. Defeat. Repeat.

I am going to complain. If you don't want to read the whining and pouting of a 30-year old woman, stop reading now, because this post is going to be full of negative whining. I promise to return to regular programming later. But, today, this is my therapy... and I need it.

I am officially having my own pity party... and I am going to let it last as long as I feel like it lasting... because this time I truly feel like I deserve it.

OK. I'm going overboard with the drama and the whining.

Ugh.

I have typed that word at least 50 times this week. As you read about last week, I am injured. Again.

How many posts does a person need to write about this? Really? Didn't I already blog about being injured when training for a race? TWICE?

Yep. Three times must be the charm.

I have a stress fracture in my left foot. It is "highly unlikely" that I will be able to run in the half marathon that I have spent the last three months training for. Three months... or 143 miles... or 22 hours... or 94.5 donuts burned (according to Dailymile). That's how much I have invested. That's how much I've worked to run in this one race... and now the possibility of me even being able to run part of it and walk part of it is only slight.

The sports medical doctor was great. He knew I was upset and tried to help me rationalize it all. He said that I could keep training with the bike and by swimming and even trying out the elliptical, but no running for at least 2-3 weeks. He scheduled me an appointment to come back on April 15 to re-evaluate. At that point, he said he hoped he could release me to run short distances and walk. I asked what would happen if I ran some still... just to see if I could keep up some distance. He said that the bone is basically weakened. If I keep pounding on it, even at small amounts, it will eventually break. So, I have to let it heal or risk breaking my foot.

UGH.

Again. Here I sit, completely ready to run the race I've been training for (almost completely ready), and I'm injured. I'm watching as my friends go on and keep their training up... just like I had to do with Rebecca last year. (Girls - know that I love that you are still training, so please don't feel like you have to shield or protect me. I just wish I was with you is all.). I have to know that every aspect of me is ready for a race and the celebration that we would have afterward, but instead I will likely be sitting on the side, cheering the girls on. Can I get two new feet and ankles, please? :) 

I told you this was going to be a pity party post. 

I'm so sad. So disappointed. So frustrated. So, so, so mad. Mad at myself because I somehow feel like I should have done something differently. Mad because it seems so unfair that I have to deal with this again. Mad because I am going to have to start all over again.

And yet, part of me is still hoping with all hope that by some miracle, I will pull through this and be able to race. I know it isn't rational... and I know that it isn't likely. But, it's not impossible, either. Still, even when I'm defeated, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking there is some way that I can do this.

On a sidenote, I sat in the Sports Medicine Clinic today with a room full of high school and college student athletes. There were knee injuries galore. I looked around and saw the faces of people who had their dreams squashed and they were young. I am 30. I have a wonderful life and a supportive family. I have a job. I have a home. I never meant to become a runner. It was never a dream. I love it with all of me... and I want to continue it, but I didn't plan for it. I looked around and thought about how sorry I was feeling for myself... and I remembered my brother, Colt. The last time I sat in that room was with him when he hurt his knee playing football. How depressed he must have been... his whole life he had played and prepared and worked to get to play football... and with one hit it was gone. Ugh. It's interesting how life works sometimes... how you think you get something, but you really don't get it at all.

That's it.

Ugh.

On the brighter side... today is baby girl's birthday. I will not let this keep us from enjoying it... and celebrating her. So, now that I'm done with my sad little party, I shall move on. It's just another day... and this too shall pass. 

Six Years Ago...

... I was starting a whole new journey. I was becoming a mother. And there is so much for me to say about it. Consider that fair warning. :)


Dear Bailey,


I cannot believe you are six. Is it possible that you have already surpassed the baby years, the toddler years, and are now nearing your teenage years? That's what it feels like to me. We moved to Lexington when you were only 5 months old. I remember us talking about schools and saying, "We have so much time to worry about that. It's definitely not a factor for a few more years." We blinked and you are already finishing your first year of kindergarten.

Ignore the date... it's wrong. :)

I could go on and on about the millions of things I love about you. Your sweetness, your thoughtfulness, your silly side. You remind me of your dad when you smile or laugh... you have his sense of humor and lighthearted smile. You remind me of me with your fiery personality and spunk. You never back down from a challenge - sometimes I wonder if I've let you be too aggressive. Then, I'm reminded of what one of my friends said about you one day. She said, "What I love about Bailey is that she is so confident. You can tell when she walks into any room or starts to try something new that she does not doubt herself at all." Gush. It's true. I've never met a more secure kid. You are so confident and strong. You walk into a room like you own it... and before we leave, you usually know everyone there and have made them smile.

You aren't perfect... of course. You are my child, after all. You have a temper. You get whiny when you are tired. You are a little on the sensitive side. I sometimes hurt your feelings just by looking at you the wrong way. But, that sensitivity is also part of what makes you so sweet. You tattle on your brother all the time, but you love him more than anything in the world. Your teacher is even impressed by how crazy you are about Jake. He is completely your best friend... and he really always will be. I hope you remember that later. 

The past year has been full of growth in so many ways. Not only are you growing physically - you are now in big girl sizes (7) - you are growing mentally. You can read. When I met with your teacher in October, she said you were already at a 1st grade level. I can't wait to our next conference so that I can hear about how well you are doing. You are a great student.


You were the first child in your class to get the student of the month. The reason you got it was because you were such a good friend to each person in your class. I believe that, too. You took $5 that your mamaw gave you a couple of weeks ago and went to the Dollar Store. Four of the children in your class are quadruplets and were having a birthday. You bought them each a $1 gift for their birthday and took it to school. You were so proud. You worry when one of your friends are not at school for any reason.


I love that you think so much about other people. You love your friends, even when they aren't always nice to you. I love that you still believe in people and that you are loyal. I worry that it will hurt you later, because of that sweet, sensitive side.

You are still young enough to believe in lots of things. I love that. You have lost two teeth. You loved that the tooth fairy came, but you were disappointed that your tooth fairy didn't leave you a note or anything like Emma's did. I told you that it was because your tooth fairy wasn't as cool. You thought maybe they'd switch out later. :) Again, because of your faith in things, Christmas was amazing with you. You were so excited to have Santa visit the house. You talk all the time about how we left out pumpkin pie because we didn't have any cookies and Santa ate every bite. We are pretty sure that he was sick of cookies anyway. :)


And, while you still believe in things, you are so rational. You think about things and whether or not they could really happen. You love to tell me about how the princesses at Disney on Ice were just skaters in costume last year. You love to talk about Miranda Cosgrove and the fact that she "acts" as Carly on iCarly, but that her real name is Miranda Cosgrove. I love that you have such good common sense. It makes me feel safer that you will make good choices when I'm not around to protect you.


Physically, you are developing, too. It's amazing to see how much you have grown over the years... how much of a little girl you are now in comparison to the baby or toddler that is forever etched in my mind. I can see myself watching you walk down the aisle to get married and envision you looking exactly like you do now... dressed in a dress up gown. :)


You have more energy than anyone, including me and your Mimi (my mom), if that's possible. I never thought it was, but I am being proved wrong. You want to sign up for everything. We want you to sign up for everything. It's a really tough balancing act. Since you turned 5, you have played spring t-ball, All-Stars on the all girls t-ball team, fall t-ball, Girl Scouts, ballet, basketball, and tennis. Yes. It's been a lot, but you have loved it all. That's what makes it tough. If you didn't like something, it would be easier to make cuts, but you enjoy it all. So, how do we pick? You have grown so much in each area. I see so much progress in how much you have matured in t-ball. We just started back to spring ball and it's incredible when I compare how well you play now to how you were when you played last year and the year before. I'm so proud of how tough you are and how you adjust to each sport and activity so well. I am just certain that you are going to be so diverse and you are going to have so much knowledge about a variety of different sports and activities when you get older.I am terrified that we have you in too much stuff, but when we have days off, you tell me you are bored or want to go some place. So, I think we are still OK. :)

This was in Bailey's first year of t-ball!

This was last summer in All-Stars (look how much she grew!!)

My ballerina

Rehearsing 

You are so active and such a tomboy on some days and then you turn around and put on a pile of make up, a frilly dress, and want to have a pedicure. Everything about that makes my heart melt. I love that you can be so many things tied up in one little perfect girl.

By far, my favorite thing about the past year is how much our relationship has developed. We are already buddies... good friends. I know that you get embarrassed by my silly sayings and my questions about your boyfriends and all that already. But, I love that you don't lie to me. I love that you laugh about these things with me and you tell me the truth, even when I can tell you aren't sure you want to. You always make me smile when you tell me that you are going to live with me forever or that you don't really want to grow up and leave. Of course, five minutes later, you are telling me about how you will marry Austin and have 3 kids, a cat, and I can be your full-time babysitter, because you just have to make money. :) I promise that I will always take you seriously, even when I know your problems are small in the grand scheme of things. To you, they will mean the world and I promise I'll do everything I can to remember that when you need a friend to talk to.

I wish that you had more girls to hang out with, because I see how much you love my friendship with Cilla. You ask me how long we have been best friends all the time. I can tell you are longing for a best friend and you just haven't found that one little girl who you really connect with. If I could tell you anything, it would be that I was just like you. I had so many friends as a young girl, but I never had that "best friend" that you see on TV sitcoms. I know it is tough feeling that way. But, it works out in the long run... and you will have so many good friends in your life that will shape you and make you stronger.


Your relationship with your dad is something I love to watch, too. Sometimes you treat him badly and it makes me really mad. You get very impatient with him when he doesn't do something on your time frame. It sounds really familiar. I'm sure that it is somehow my fault. :) By the same breath, though, you think he hung the moon. He can fix anything. He is the only one that you want to take you to a book fair (for some reason). You want him to coach you at everything, but you don't always listen to him the way you should (maybe that's why you want him to coach... hehehe). You have one day each week that he makes you milkshakes. It is your milkshake day. And I could make it the exact same way and it's never good enough. You also think he makes the best chocolate chip cookies (you know, the pre-made kind) and no one else in the house should even bother trying. I see you look at him some days and I know that you are going to always be that little daddy's girl that he wanted from the day you were born. But, then, you throw out something like a C-A-T-S cheer in the middle of a UK vs. WVU game and I remember that you love to taunt him, too. :) He thinks you are the most perfect little girl in the world... and he is so proud of the beautiful princess you are becoming.

Everything about life with you is fun. I look forward to your smiling face every morning, even when it comes way too early and way too happy. I'm not a morning person, so sometimes I really don't look forward to you waking me up. But, anyway... :) You always make me smile... your laughter is contagious. I hope you continue growing just like you are right now... I just know that the woman you will become will be amazing. You will be tough and sweet... strong and sensitive... and as beautiful as any woman could ever be. High maintenance is probably also a possibility. lol.


I love you, Bailey. Happy 6th Birthday!


Mom

Trying to be patient... or a good patient. :)

I haven't written much about running lately. Well, I haven't written much about much of anything on here lately. :) It isn't because I don't want to, but because I have been trying to juggle a few things.


I have had a few things on my mind lately... all of it being related to 100 different things. So, it's been a little more than difficult to sit down and write anything clearly. All of it is a jumbled up mess of ideas and tirades and thoughts that really are only connected by my consciousness. :)


But, today, I suppose, I feel compelled to write about running, especially since I have been wanting to run all day and can't. 


As most of you know by now, I'm training for a half marathon at the end of April in Nashville.


I've been working hard. Some days are better than others, but I've been dedicated... excited... and ready to make this all come together nicely.


Two weeks ago, I started having problems with my foot. My left foot... not the right ankle that was bothering me last year.


After running, then taking days off, then trying again, I hit a wall. I had refused to go to the doctor. I had refused because I had no desire at all to have a doctor tell me that I should stop running. But when I found that I couldn't run more than 1.5 miles, I caved.


Off to the doctor, I went after I attempted a 4 mile run on Thursday and only made it 1.5 miles in about 18 minutes (much, much slower than I usually run). I prepared myself for the conversation with the doctor, rehearsing what I would say if she/he told me that I should not run on my foot, "Well, I understand that it makes the most sense for me not to run, Dr. X, but I am just not going to be able to do that. Can you send me to someone else who can help me?" I had it down... I wasn't going to leave there with a "no-running" answer.


I have to say that I don't think I've ever really considered myself an athlete. Yes, I played tennis in high school, but I don't think I ever considered myself a "real" athlete. I can also say that, until Thursday, I have never really felt like someone was treating me like an athlete.


Dr. X was wonderful. She asked me what was going on. I told her I was training for a half marathon and explained my injury. She said, "Well, first things first, you need to see a sports medicine doctor. I know I can tell you to stay off your foot, but you are obviously not going to stop training and I don't blame you. I know you aren't going to listen if I tell you to not train, so I am going to make sure that we x-ray it and see what's going on, and then I'll refer you on to someone who will help you train with an injury."


Hallelujah. I sat in shock that I didn't have to beg or plead or make this lady understand this need. Most people would just tell me that there are other races and that there are other priorities. And, while I admit that those things sound completely rational and reasonable, those people haven't spent the last three months busting their butts in the snow or spending their time away from kids running so that they can be ready for a specific race. Those people have no idea how hard it can be to get into shape and how easy it can be to get out of it. It takes time to rebuild and time to train. And, I am not interested in having to start all over. At. All.


My mood, which had been completely dismal, shifted. Sure, my foot felt the same. The outcome could very well be the same. But, I felt hopeful that there is a doctor out there who understood my need to do this.


The x-ray came back looking good, but the doctor wanted confirmation from the radiologist. They called me on Friday morning. Funny thing is, the only thing they saw on the x-ray was a bone spur in my heel. No pain in my heel, but a bone spur there (even funnier, my heel on my RIGHT foot, not the one they x-rayed, bothers me a lot after a run, but not enough to keep me from running). :) The doctor said the radiologist suspected a stress fracture that really didn't show on the x-ray, perhaps because it had partially healed, etc. So, the doctor recommended I wait until Tuesday to actually run (meaning not running my long run or any short runs all weekend - ugh). Then, if I can't run on Tuesday, to go to the sports medicine clinic on Wednesday. Of course, a birthday weekend didn't make it easy to stay off of my foot, but I've iced it several times. I've taken ibuprofen. And, now, I'm hoping that tomorrow I can do a little test on it by jogging lightly down to the stop sign and back and seeing if I have any pain. If I do, I'll ice some more, try running on Tuesday, and pray for the best. 


I can't describe my disappointment right now, but I am staying focused and I am refusing to admit any kind of defeat. I feel like I'm in good shape and can stay that way until my foot feels better. But, I'm hoping and praying that it gets better soon. I don't have much time. I have worked so hard to get to this point. So, you know I've been down. It was probably a really good thing that I had a party to plan and all kinds of pink, frilly, and perfect little girls to be around. :)  I feel a bit dramatic asking for your prayers... especially when I have been reading blogs of people who are fighting major battles to save their children's lives or having legitimate life concerns. So, I won't do that... but send positive vibes my way. I really want to run this race and run it well. I can't afford time off! :) And we all know, patience is not my friend... :)

A Pink Party

Since I love all of you for following along our crazy journey for all this time (or if you are just joining, for starting to follow on this journey or ours), I want to share with you all first the details of the most fantabulous princess/dress up/tea party that a six year old girl could have. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a bit, but it was a really great party, even if I do say so myself. :) 


As I mentioned last week, I have been in the midst of pink everything for Bailey's party. 


It was supposed to be a small get together. 


It evolved. 


And evolved some more. 


It started as a make up and dress up party. Then, my princess said she needed it to be a princess party. And, then, she wanted to add a tea party to the mix. So, we just combined it all. Oh... and did I mention that it all had to be pink? Pink everything, she said. Pink everywhere. 


God blessed us with a beautiful spring day. I had hoped and even prayed a small prayer for good weather so that we could host the party outside. And God delivered. It was perfect. 


So, I transformed our back decks into a sea of pink for my special girl. Here are the photos of the day that was. :) 

Want to see all the photos? Visit my facebook page! :) 

And, Bailey was quite impressed. She told me this morning that she really loved her birthday. And, she made sure to thank me for working so hard on it all. I love my baby girl. Why does she have to grow up? 


More to come later this week about the actual planning of the party on Our Cups Runneth Over. 


I'm planning on doing a post about planning. Funny, huh? :) 

St. Patty's Day!

Everyday this week has come and gone in a rush, so much that I honestly wasn't sure if today was Thursday or Friday when I sat down to type this. :) 

Seriously... where has the week gone?!

I've been busy birthday planning. Bailey is turning six and this weekend, we are having a little party for her at the house. Well, it was supposed to be little, but it continued to grow, partially because of me and mostly because of Bailey. In any case, I've been running around like a crazy person, trying to make it all happen perfectly for Bailey. It is a princess party/dress up party/tea party, and every princess gets what they want, right? Riiiiggghhhht. :) 

What else have I been doing? 

Well, I marked a list item off in celebration of St. Patrick's Day. If you've been following Our Cups Runneth Over, then you already know that we had a mini-St. Patrick's Day party at home on Sunday to kick off our week of green. If you haven't been following (that's quite alright), I am including photos here. :) I drank a green beer. Yes, I did. It was an easy one to mark off and it was one that I enjoyed. It was nice to do something different, but for it to be simple enough to do without a big plan. We made it fun by turning apple juice green, too, and then toasting St. Patrick's Day together. The kids thought it was great to see the drinks turn green... and they were very relieved that the taste of the apple juice was not altered. :)

And, that is how we celebrated St. Patrick's Day. And, that is how I marked one more thing off the list.